Page 42 of Spoil Me, Daddy
“Come on, my boy. Let’s go slay some dragons.” With a wink, Aaron opened the front door of his home, and Zaire walked through.
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“Oh my god! You look…” Zaire waited for Uma to finish what she was saying, but his heart raced, and his cheeks flooded with heat. “amazing!” She came to him and embraced him tightly. “I knew there was something inside of you that you kept locked away. I hoped one day you’d have the courage to fly, and I’m thinking Aaron had something to do with this change.”
Zaire breathed deeply, flooding his body with much-needed oxygen. “He did.”
“Well, I love it. The outfit suits you, and, apart from looking a little pale, you seem lighter.”
Grinning, he said, “I feel it, too. I never realised how much holding back was weighing on me. I’m a nervous wreck,” he held out his hands to show how much they were shaking, “but I need to do this.”
“I agree. You can’t live your life hiding, Zaire. What’s the point if you do? Be who you want to be, not who you’re told to be.”
Zaire leaned in and hugged Uma again, pulling away when the next staff member entered, the butterflies starting all over again. When nothing was said, and no snide comments were made, he relaxed once more. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe everyone would be as accommodating, but so far, so good.
It was when assembly arrived, he encountered problems.
“Whatareyou wearing?” A voice sneered from behind where he was sat at the side of the big hall.
Zaire glanced over his shoulder, already feeling heat bleed into his cheeks and his muscles clenching with a tension he had hoped would stay gone. Simon was sat, looking him up and down as if he were dog shit on his shoe. Zaire’s gaze flicked to the children looking at them with interest from the floor next to them. There was no way they couldn’t have heard what Simon had said. He gave them a small smile, turned back towards the front where another teacher was telling a story and swallowed hard, beating back the threat of tears.
“You look like a girl. Is that what you are now? Aaron will hardly go for you if that’s what you’re trying for.”
Zaire ignored the comment, concentrating on the children and the words being spoken from in front of him, not behind. He saw Uma, looking over at him, and she mouthed, “You okay?” to which he nodded and tried for a half-smile. He had no idea whether he managed it or not. Probably not, given the look she returned him.
He stood for their physical activity session, wriggling around and making the kids laugh as they joined in with him.
“God, you’re even wearing girly shoes. Jesus Christ,” the same voice continued when he returned to sitting.
Zaire honestly didn’t know if he could keep the clothes on after Simon’s comments. Everyone he worked with in Uma’s classroom and all the children had loved what he wore. The children were amazing and had asked lots of questions. Even though what he wore was not feminine, there was a definite softer vibe going on, and the children saw it. He’d done exactly what Aaron had told him to do and explained that the clothes made him feel good about himself and happy, so why shouldn’t he wear them? They’d accepted it. One child had even come up to him and whispered, “I want to be a princess when I grow up,” and Zaire had hugged him and told him he could be whatever he wanted to be.
When faced with adults, it was a different matter. They were already so set in their ways and beliefs, he knew there was no way he would be able to change their minds about certain things. His choice of clothing one of them. Others had their own stereotypes firmly planted in their heads, and nothing Zaire said would ever change them. He didn’t want to in some respects. What he did want was for people to stop thinking it was okay for them to force their opinions on others, especially children. How many times had he heard the phrase, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?”
Unfortunately, it didn’t apply to a lot of people.
As he stood and adjusted his top, getting ready to lead the pupils back to the classroom, Simon’s parting comment hurt.
“People like you should not be allowed in schools.Idon’t need to dress likethatto get men.”
Zaire bit his lip hard enough to hurt, trying to stem the tears threatening. He would not give in to them when the students were looking to him for guidance. He smiled through his pain, inhaling through his nose and took them back for playtime. His sister’s voice aimed at their mother floated through his head,“You’re choosing this prissy fag over me and Dad?”As soon as the children were occupied outside with their supervisor, Zaire returned to the classroom.
“Are you okay, Zaire?” Uma came over and draped an arm around his shoulder, rubbing the top of his arm repeatedly in a calming gesture.
“Not really. I need to go and change,” he muttered, twisting away from her.
“Why?”
“I can’t…do this,” he said, throat thick, gesturing to down his body. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Zaire, wait!” Uma called after him, but Zaire left the room.
He hustled towards the staff room, wanting to avoid others as much as possible. He refused to break down in front of people he worked with. The closer he got to Aaron’s office, which he had to pass to reach the staff room, the easier it was to discern voices.
“—children think, eh? What about the parents when the children go home talking about it? You will have the phone ringing off the hook about this.”
“It is none of your concern, Simon.” Aaron’s voice was tense, and if Zaire was not mistaken, angry.
“What do you mean it’s none of my concern. I’m thinking about school. The whole picture. You might want to change things around here, Aaron, but some things willnotbe accepted.”
