Page 13 of Need Him
A hand covered his, and Ben held on. He didn’t know why he was answering Gareth’s questions, but there seemed to be something happening between them, and for the life of him, Ben couldn’t stop the lorry from leaving the warehouse.
“Now for a different question. Did your parents spoil you growing up?”
Ben’s eyes flew open and met Gareth’s gaze straight on. “Jesus Christ, no. They were the complete opposite.” It was only after he’d finished that he realised he’d spoken for the first time since Gareth had entered the room. The sound of his own voice gave him more stability and focus. He refused to let go of Gareth’s hand, though. “I have been the centre of their attention for one reason only—making sure I behave as expected to shine a favourable light on them and their social standing.”
Gareth squeezed Ben’s hand. “I’m sorry for that.”
Ben shrugged. “It is what it is.”
Gareth shook his head. “You can change it. In fact, you should.”
“No. Everything has been running along like clockwork since I was a kid. There’s no changing the result.”
“What do you mean?” Ben sighed, his free hand curling and uncurling the corner of a piece of paper, but he couldn’t answer. “What are you going to lose if you step free of their ‘world?’” Gareth asked after a minute.
Ben thought about it. What would he lose? “A roof over my head.”
“You’re the manager of this store. You can afford to rent somewhere,” Gareth countered.
Ben frowned. “My parents.”
“Would you? Or would they turn their attention to their own lives and find their own way to keep their social standing alive?” Ben stared at him, mouth gaping. “Anything else?”
Ben tried to come up with something else, but he had nothing. His life consisted of working, avoiding his parents, sleeping, rinse and repeat. How had he not seen that before? He had no friends, no other family, nothing outside of work. He’d sequestered himself in this role of…whatever it was. Who was he?
Gareth stood, and Ben tightened his grip to stop him from pulling away, but Gareth kept hold and rounded the desk until he was beside Ben’s chair. He pulled on Ben’s hand until he stood and led him to the sofa in the middle of the room. Ben’s slightly taller stance was more noticeable when they were standing close. Gareth pushed Ben to sit and sat beside him, lifting his knee to the cushion to face him, always keeping hold of his hand. It seemed like the only thing that was tethering him at that moment, and Gareth seemed to understand that.
“Do you know anything about Daddies and littles and boys?” Gareth asked.
Ben frowned again. The terms seemed familiar, but he couldn’t voice what it was. “Not really.”
Gareth lowered his gaze to their hands, seeming to ponder over his next words, which sent butterflies soaring through his stomach.
“Well, a little is someone who likes to shake off adulthood and regress to a younger age in order to free him- or herself of the burdens of said adulthood or just because they enjoy being their ‘younger’ selves. Boys have a variety of meanings depending on the person—as do littles, really—and they can enjoy regressing to a young age, an older age, anything goes. Daddies are the people who take care of those littles and boys while they are in that frame of mind. The role of the Daddy is to take care of anything their charge needs.”
Ben understood the idea. Now that Gareth had explained it, he remembered reading an article about it once, though he couldn’t think what it had been on. Watching Gareth as he was, he saw the man swallow hard before lifting his head to meet Ben’s gaze.
“There is also another type of boy that sometimes gets misunderstood. A Middle.”
“Is that someone who’s with two other people?”
Gareth smiled, the twinkle in his eye sparkling at him. “Not quite. A Middle is often someone who regresses to teen age. They might act up, throw tantrums, shout when things don’t go their way and want attention. Things like that because it helps them. For many reasons. As I said, everyone is different in why and how they choose to be who they are inside.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’m a Daddy.” Gareth waited, then said, “And I think you could be a Middle.”
Ben leaned back. “I’m nothing like a teenager! I don’t throw tantrums. I’m a manager of a store. I’m in charge of hundreds of staff. I keep this place running. Why would you think I’d need something like that?”
Gareth tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t move.” Ben froze. “Now, take stock of where you are and how you feel. Talk it out with me.”
Ben hadn’t realised he’d moved, but he was standing about six feet away from the sofa, his hands clenched, his chest heaving, and his muscles tense. He didn’t say anything. Just stared at Gareth as if he didn’t understand it all.
“You’re not a teenager, Ben, but I think you need the release. I think you need to find another way of letting all that stress steam from you without taking it out on your job or the people who work here.”
“I don’t!”
Gareth faced forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “When I first met you, Ruby introduced us. Do you remember?” Ben frowned and shook his head. “You greeted me and basically brushed me aside, giving Ruby a list of things to get done, then walked off. No goodbye. Nothing.” Gareth held up his hand. “I know you’re busy. I know you have a store to run. But being kind to those who work for you should come first.” Gareth stood. “Having a Daddy to help you will give you the space to let those feelings and emotions out where it is more suitable.”
