Page 49 of The Magic of Discovery
Cam let out a deep laugh, coming over to introduce himself.
“I’m Cam, thank you for sharing Saige with us today.” He smiled, extending his hand.
Gran shook his hand, and quick as a whip, she replied, “Nice to meet you, Cam, but I think we all know I’m not the one doing the sharing around these parts.”
I swore to the stars that Sloane was choking.
“Gran,” I scolded, but she just waved me off.
“And who do we have here?” she asked, her focus was solely on the man at my side.
“Fischer, ma’am,” he replied, seeming to have regained his composure while she’d harassed Cam and Kai. Gran nodded and looked to the corner where Sloane was still rooted in place by the fridge.
I swore to all that was cosmic, if he was a dick to her, I’d kick him right in the nuts.
Sloane moved across the kitchen, flashing Gran a roguish smile that pulled a laugh from Kai and an eye roll from Fish.Great, this is probably going to be eventful.
“I’m Sloane, and I thought I had already met all of the women in this town. You’ve clearly been hiding because I definitely would’ve remembered someone so beautiful. I can see where Saige gets her looks,” he schmoozed as he pulled her in for ahug. A motherfucking hug. I didn’t miss the way Cam’s eyes widened or the gasp that fell from Fischer’s lips. My eyebrows lifted to my hairline as I observed this bizarre behavior, and I had to wonder if perhaps he was drunk or had gotten a personality transplant in the past two minutes.
“Ah, yes. Sloane, the boy who has been running around town the past week flattering all of the old women. Tell me, my boy, is that why you’re not included in this... harem of my granddaughter’s? You have a fetish for old ladies?” she asked, holding both of his hands as she pulled away from him.
Kai doubled over in laughter, his arms wrapped around his trim torso, while Fischer had a look of pure amusement painting his features. I choked when I saw Cam nodding enthusiastically, his top knot bobbing with the over the top motion.
“Yes, that’s exactly what his fetish is, Bette. Do you know of any single ladies who might like their own personal boy toy?” Cam lifted an eyebrow, trying to fight the smile that was threatening to break free.
Sloane dropped Gran’s hands and opened his mouth to say something, but it appeared that the wily Bette Wildes had stunned him speechless. Laughter tumbled out of me as I watched him struggle.
“I-you-no. I donothave an old woman fetish.” He turned and glared at Cam, Kai taking that opportunity to nod vigorously behind Sloane’s back, indicating thatthatwas a bunch of bullshit.
“My boy Roger has told me all about your little warfare, by the way,” Gran divulged.
Sloane’s brow furrowed. “Who the fuck is Roger?”
“Roger,” Gran repeated, flicking her wrists like she was talking to a dumbass, “‘about yay tall, looks like he hasn’t bought clothes since nineteen seventy six?”
“Oh, you mean Randy! Yeah, uh, I’ve met him,” Sloane said sheepishly, his cheeks starting to turn red.
“No, his name is Roger. Randy Roger. I gave him the name Randy because he’s got some grabby fucking hands, and everyone knows it, too,” Gran explained while all of the guys laughed. “But Sloane, I wanted to let you know that I heard about the Battle of Thyme. Witnesses are calling it The Calamitous Cucumber Carnage of twenty-twenty, and I’ve heard there’s video footage. I can’t wait ‘til I lay eyes on that!” She threw her head back and laughed and laughed.
“What in the hell is she talking about right now?” Fischer whisper yelled at Sloane and me, but I was clueless, so I focused my attention on the blushing mage.
“Shhh. I’ll tell you guys later,” Sloane gritted out.
Gran lifted her arm to Sloane’s shoulder. “Come now, boy. Don’t be shy! You’ve been promoted to Captain Cuke-zuke. This calls for a celebration!”
A wheezing sound came from the kitchen island where Kai looked like he was going to pass out, clearly enjoying seeing big tough Sloane get his balls handed to him by a scantily clad old witch.Not gonna lie, I’m loving it, too. And Iwillget my hands on this cucumber war video.
“Okay, now that we’re all introduced, can I get anyone a drink? We can hang out on the patio while Kai grills and talk about all of the craziness that’s been going on?” I suggested, and everyone agreed, Sloane more eagerly than the rest.
Kai headed to the fridge and pulled out the steaks I’d put in there earlier then passed out beers to everyone. Gran asked for a glass of red wine, so I opened a bottle and poured her a glass that she floated toward the back porch, sequins and tassels just a shimmerin’ and a shakin’.
“This way, boys,” she called out, not turning to see if they were following.She marches to the beat of her own drum, always has and always will.
“Well, that was interesting,” Fischer blurted, and the rest of us laughed.
“Yeah, she can be intense. She’s the best person I know, though, and you will always know where you stand with her. She couldn’t sugarcoat anything even if she was holding a five-pound bag of sugar.” I mean, I had warned them, and explained how eccentric she was. But explaining Bette Wildes andexperiencingBette Wildes were two very, very different things.
“She’s freaking awesome, Sprout. My kind of people,” Kai declared as he began working his magic on the steak. “I’ll just get these spiced up, and then I’ll join you guys outside. If you could light the grill, that would be perfect,” he said to me, before dropping a kiss on my cheek.
