Page 70 of The Magic of Betrayal
His eyes were such a strange color, like they were made from an actual piece of amber, slightly darker honeyed flecks sprinkled throughout. Bram was intense, he didn't say things without meaning every single word and I had no doubt he would do exactly as he promised.
"But I'm not yours, Bram. I'm not anyone's. Not anymore," I croaked, the faces of the men who I'd been falling in love with flashed in my head and tears stung my eyes again. How my body was able to keep producing the damn things was a modern miracle because I was certain I had to be dehydrated by now.
"As much as I want to rip their heads off for touching you, and for hurting you so badly, you have to understand a few things, okay?" Bram cupped my cheek, keeping my focus on him as though he knew how badly I wanted to roll over and bury my face in my pillow.
Shaking my head no, I didn’t want him to say another word because I didn't want to hear anything yet. It was too fresh, too fucking raw.
"Yes, princess. You will listen. Seeing you ripped up like this is tearing me up, and the last time I felt a shred of empathy toward anything was when I was sixteen and my friends and I had a dick measuring contest. Obviously I won, and I felt very empathetic toward them and their less superior swords. Nothing I could do about that though, right?” I opened my mouth to tell him I didn’t really think that was empathy, but he continued. “This time, I can do something to make you feel better. I have known those guys for a long time, since they signed up for the academy. They are fucking fantastic at their jobs, and for the past ten years, that is all that has mattered to them. Constantly in different countries, with different people, the thrill of life and the hunt driving their purpose. They are lethal," Bram explained, and my eyes widened at that word.Lethal.
"Yes, Goldie girl, it's true. They may have been sweet and laid back with you, that's how they are with one another, but believe me when I say that each and every one of them has a beast living in the depths of their souls and they can release it within the blink of an eye. Now, I don't believe that Cam, Fischer, and Kai were playing you. Maybe at first, just gathering intel about the town. Can you blame them? They moved into a perfect location with a friendly, beautiful witch who had lived there her whole life, the perfect informant."
Was that all I was to them? Kai told me that we were fated mates, and I'd felt something strong between us, binding us together, so how could he have continued lying to my face? Was he planning to leave me there at the end of this... mission?
"They respected Larson. Completely trusted him because he’s never given them a reason not to, he gave them every opportunity to further their careers and rise to the top. I saw the way they were with you. That night I took you back to your cottage, I wanted to snap all of their necks so that they wouldn't be able to touch you ever again. I knew you were going out with Fischer that night I popped in and interrupted your bath." He smirked, obviously recalling the naked argument that had exploded, but before I could smack him, he continued, "I was so jealous. So I watched. Everywhere you went, I watched you. The smiles, the touches, the laughs, I saw them, Goldie."
A tear slipped out without permission and Bram swiped it away gently with his thumb.Why does my heart feel like it's hemorrhaging?
"I'm not sure when it happened, but I became—" he paused, searching for the right word, "grateful. Grateful to them for protecting you, for making you smile so hard and bright that your face lit up. When I showed up in your bathroom that day, all of my jealousy, insecurity, weakness… it all came to a boiling point and I behaved like an ass. Then I saw and felt their pain when I took you from them. Your pain and heartbreak nearly choked me, Goldie. How could I kill them when they clearly made you so happy? All I could hope is that one day you might look at me the same way," he breathed, his voice raspy and deep.
"But, they lied. How can I move past that? How am I supposed to trust them again? I've never felt pain so crippling, Bram," I replied softly.
"If you've never felt a pain so devastating, then you've never felt such tremendous love before, either." He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead before lying back and pulling me against his warm body.
"Try to get some more sleep, princess. Tomorrow is a new day and you're going to need to be sharp."
Love.
I'd been falling so hard in love with those men, and now, I wasn't sure if I felt the same way, or if hate was slipping into my heart, covering that love in darkness.
* * *
I wasn’tsure exactly how long I’d been laying in Bram’s massive bed, but I couldn’t seem to get out of it, aside from using the bathroom, which wasn’t often thanks to barely eating or drinking. On top of being emotionally drained, I felt physically weakened, too. Bram told me it was probably because of this transition I was going through. It wasn’t a transition I even wanted and I wished there was some way I could put a stop to it.
There was no light coming in from the window, so I assumed I’d been asleep all day. Fine by me. I wouldn't have to think. I wouldn't have to see their faces in my head, wouldn’t have to think about the lies, or how Sloane…
No, I’m not doing that. I can’t.
Hopefully, Maven was back at Gran’s. She may not like him, but she wouldn’t let him starve. I wondered if Gran was okay, was she helping Frank and Arlo with the store? What would she tell everyone about where I was? This can’t be forever.I won’t be here forever.And yet, I still hadn’t asked Bram any more questions because what if he did intend to keep me here? Surprisingly, he’d backed up the guys, softened my anger toward them slightly. Which was good for them because now I would only kick them in their big stupid dicks at seventy five percent power versus one hundred.
A twenty five percent power decrease when it comes to dick kicking is very generous, everybody knows that. Kai would know that.
My heart fluttered in my chest as I thought of him. His flawless skin, his lean frame that showed all of his muscle. His black hair that often tickled me when he’d kiss his way down my body. Gasping, I curled into a ball when something sharp pricked in my chest. My hand ran up and down my sternum as I tried to apply some pressure to help dissipate the pain. When I screwed my eyes up in pain, that’s when I saw him.
Yellow eyes, rippling black fur, a massive body with a flicking tail.
‘Baggie?’I whispered, very much aware that I was probably losing my mind.
A low pitched sound left his throat, and it sounded very much like a whimper.If panthers can whimper?
‘Are you okay?’I asked softly as he laid down in my mind, his arms stretched out in front of him, his head dropping to rest between them.
‘Baggie, I miss you so much. And Kai. Is that what this pain is? The mate bond?’
I’m not sure how exactly, but I knew he answered me.
‘Yes.’
‘Does… does he miss me, too?’I whispered, tears welling.
