Page 60 of The Magic of Revenge
"I'm so sorry, Gran. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. She hurt you. Shekilledmy mate. I can't forgive her for either of those things. Laurie and I, we've never had a relationship, you know that. Did you talk to her?" I kicked a stone along the path as we walked, giving myself something to focus on.
"Ah, I tried. She refuses to speak to me. Or anyone for that matter. Khol can't even be in the same room with her. Not because he cares, but because he's not positive he can resist killing her—" Gran choked a little on sadness and my heart clenched for her.
"I'm so sorry, Gran," I said, and meant it.
"What is a mother supposed to do in a situation like this? I'm horrified. I'm disgusted. What she did to me? That hurts, but I have an easier time getting past that than what she did to you. To Fischer. We're green witches, child. Stealing life away from a living being goes against everything we are at heart." Gran shook her head, clearly stumped.
"You're right. But... I killed half of the forest that night. I can hardly stand to look over there and see the destruction I caused."
The sound of little paws had me looking back toward where we'd just come. Maven appeared and trotted over to us. He'd been clingier than ever and I felt a pang of guilt for not giving him more lovin’. I bent and rubbed behind his ears, and he made a happy little whine.
"Don't you realize what you did? You took the life from the earth and put it into your man. Mother nature was in tune with your pain, your loss, and your heartbreak. She came to your aid when you needed it most and sacrificed some of her own children to give you your love back. You are the embodiment of green witchcraft, child. Selfless, pure, loving..."
My eyes misted at her words. It wasn't that Gran never complimented me or let her love for me be known, but this felt different. She was being so open with me, which was a bit surprising. While Gran was usually an open book when it came to her shamelessly dirty mind, I had to wonder now if that was because she used it as a shield. When it came to her past, she’d always been a vault, locked up tight.
She sighed. "I've been thinking a lot of Maverick lately."
I stopped walking and grabbed her gently by the elbow. "You have?"
She nodded solemnly and shrugged. "I was so angry with him when he left. Who wouldn't be? I was nine months pregnant, big as a house and he left me. Our love story had been a whirlwind of heat and passion, but most of all, love," she told me as she wrung her hands together. She'd never gone into any detail at all about my grandfather. I’d only found out his name one night as a teen when Gran had been too deep into the tequila and let it slip.
"What happened?" I asked, curiosity clawing at my insides. I’d never asked her about the man because I knew how it hurt her to talk about him.
"We'd spent the day setting up the nursery. Well, he set everything up and I sat on my big ass. I'd earned that with how damn swollen my entire body had become," she chuckled and stared off into the trees. We started walking again, I figured having something else to focus on while she shared might make it easier on her. It helped not having to look someone right in the face when you felt so damn exposed.
"Anyway, Rick—that's what I called him—had been working for a man in the next town over. I'd only met the man once, when we had him over to the house for dinner. There was just something off about him, I didn't trust him," she admitted. "I told Rick that several times, but he would just assure me that there was no need to worry. Rick had been acting a little distracted but when I asked, he insisted he was just tired. But then that week he was so obsessed with getting things done around the house for the baby. You would've thought he was the one nesting. So, after he'd finished setting up the crib, we got ready for bed. He rubbed my feet, told me how beautiful I was carrying his child. That I made him happy, and that he was lucky to call himself mine." Gran was all but whispering now, like the words were just too painful to say any louder. I grabbed her hand and squeezed, letting her know I was there for her. She squeezed back, but didn't let go.
"We made love. It was beautiful and gentle and almost as though our love had manifested around us. Like I could hold it in the palms of my hands, feel it skate over my skin, and absorb into my heart. Rick got out of bed afterward, and I heard him on the phone. He didn't sound happy. In fact, he sounded downright pissed. I laid there, waiting for him to return and he did, with a large glass of water and a bowl of fresh fruit for me. He loved pampering me like that. Ya know, with the pregnancy I was always getting thirsty in the middle of the night. He was so thoughtful.
"He kissed me and said he needed to run into work for a few hours, but he would be back. I started to protest—it was late and I just wanted him to hold me.I'm so sorry, Bette baby.That's what he called me most of the time, and that's what he said as he got dressed. Kept apologizing for having to leave. He sat on the side of the bed and ran his fingers through my hair, told me to sleep. He'd see me in my dreams and in the morning.
"I was exhausted so my eyes shut and I fell asleep to him murmuring endearments and sweet words. When I woke up the next morning, Rick wasn't in bed. His car wasn't in the drive. I panicked—what if he'd been in an accident? So I called the authorities and after a few days, they told me they'd caught up with Rick, he was in another state. Apparently, he was leaving me. After all of that. He never called, nothing. Your mom was born a week later. It was a rough delivery, I cried the entire time, heartbroken. Roger was the one who held my hand during labor, the one who stayed with us after Laurie was born to help me. He was and is a great friend. I don't know what I would have done without him."
Tears were running down my face. I’d had no idea Gran had been through something so horrible. The sudden desire to find Rick and kick his ass flared in my veins and I struggled to push that down. Gran didn't need my anger right now, she needed my support. She fucking deserved it.
"And you never saw Rick again? No word from him?" I asked in disbelief.
"Nope, not a word. The first year of Laurie's life was hard. So hard. She was a happy baby, but I was a very depressed woman and between battling the feelings of guilt for feeling that way—after all, I had a beautiful home and a happy, healthy daughter—I couldn't shut it off. I oftentimes wonder if I messed her up from the time she was an infant, because I was drowning in sadness every damn day. Maybe if I had been more for her, able to love her like a baby deserved..."
"Oh Gran," I cried, wrapping my arms around her. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. I'm positive that even if you were struggling with depression you still put Laurie first, and I don't doubt that even as a baby she felt that love. Never blame yourself for that. You're an amazing mother and grandmother," I told her fervently. I needed her to understand that Laurie's actions were her own.
Maven wedged between our legs and laid across Gran's feet, clearly feeling her sadness.
"I wanted to ask—and I know there's more than just my feelings involved—but could we let the authorities handle her? I just... She's done so much damage and maybe I'm being naive, but I think she needs serious help, Saige. It's not an excuse, believe me. I mean, I will never be able to look her in the eye again. Part of me never wants to see her again," she whispered, struggling with saying such a thing about her own child. "But I can't just let her be murdered. That would make us no better."
I studied her face, the wild and carefree woman I'd grown up with no longer showing. Her cornflower blue eyes were sad, bloodshot from tears. The fine wrinkles on her face from laughing and smiling looked more severe, like the events over the past few weeks had aged her. A tear ran down her cheek as she looked away, wiping it from existence.
The urge to harm Laurie was there. I couldn't lie. And had I seen her there in the woods that night when I'd found Fischer, I honestly believed I would have killed her. But, oh my gods, my heart was cracking all over again looking down at Gran. She'd just opened up to me more than ever and she looked so broken.
"Of course, Gran. Nobody will hurt her. I'll speak with the guys and figure out what steps we need to take to have her taken into custody. But I want you to know, I will do everything in my power to ensure that she pays for what she did. She's dangerous and a threat to me and my family. I won't allow her to hurt any of them, or you, ever again," I vowed, pulling her against me once again.
I patted her back as she cried and she rubbed her hands over mine when my own tears couldn't be held in anymore. How did we get here? And how could we fix it? I had a feeling that locking Laurie up wasn't going to solve a whole lot. Things were complicated and all twisted up.
The new prophecy popped into my mind and I knew I needed to go track down the Seers. Hopefully, the stars had spoken to them and provided a little clarity... Then again, the stars seemed to enjoy screwing with my life so I wasn't sure why I felt hopeful at the thought.
"What the hell are you doing, dude?" Kai asked, stepping over my body and dropping down on the couch.
I'd stripped down to my boxers and was currently starfishing on the plush area rug, rubbing myself all over the fibers. It felt pretty good, only slightly scratchy, which turns out just made me wiggle more.
