Page 76 of The Magic of Revenge
"Giraffe," I blurted without thinking, and then facepalmed.For fuck’s sake… Epic fail.
Bram’s laughter rang out and I wanted to kick him in the dick. Sprout joined in and I groaned, still hiding behind my palm.
"There'th giraffeth here?" Faris asked excitedly.
"No... there's not," Saige said slowly, regaining her composure. "Kai? Are you okay?"
I didn't respond. I was too embarrassed to even look them in the eye. Good thing I had my hand blocking me in case I’d been tempted.So, this is good. Now I’m not only the idiot who facepalms himself in public, but the one who also stands there like I’m playing freeze tag or some shit.
"How about you and Kai grab something to eat at the diner? Faris and I will head back to the cottage, we need to get the groceries back and practice his magic today anyway," Bram suggested and I could've kissed him.
"Okay, yeah. I'd like that. Thank you," she said and then I watched through my fingers as she leaned up and planted her lips on his.
"Be careful, Firefly," Faris chimed in, tugging her away from Bram and helping himself to her pink lips.
"We will. Right, Kai?" she asked, looking to me, and I dropped my hand and nodded.
"I'll always keep you safe, Cub," I told her, even though I felt like a fraud. Because it wasn't true. I hadn't kept her safe.
"We'll see you guys later then. Come on." She held her hand out for me, and I laced my fingers with hers and let her pull me down the street away from the guys.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your guys’ time like that," I said as I squeezed her hand.
"I can feel something bothering you through the bond, Kai. I always want you to come to me when you feel the need to. Six boyfriends is a lot to manage, but I hope you know that there are times that I need you. My friend, my Alpha." Sprout smiled at me and my heart started pumping pure love through my veins.
"Mmm, you're such a pretty Cub. And I know that. I've just... Ah, let's get in the diner first, then we'll talk." We crossed the street and entered Burgatory. I'd grabbed some takeout here a few times before, the food selection was basic but pretty damn good.
We found a booth and I gestured for Sprout to take a seat. Her delectable ass had barely hit the vinyl and I was sliding in right beside her. She laughed, but didn't seem to mind sitting on the same side of the table. In fact, she laid her head against my shoulder briefly before the server made her appearance.
After she ordered herself her beloved Diet Dr. Pepper and I got myself a lemonade, she told me about how Faris had gotten two piercings and Bram had passed out. I laughed my ass off and couldn't wait to tease the big scary demon about it.
We got our drinks and ordered a few different appetizers to share.
"What's going on, Kai?" Sprout asked after taking a sip of her drink.
Fuck. I hate talking about this shit.
'And that's probably part of the problem,'Bagheera said.
"I'm not sure, exactly. I uh…” Fuck, why was it so hard for me to talk about this shit? My hands fiddled with the empty straw wrapper and I stared at the crinkled paper like it held the answers to my questions. I had to trust Sprout. She was my mate and I owed her open and honest communication. Ripping up the wrapper to give myself something to focus on, I opened my mouth.
“I'm having trouble sleeping. Unless I'm in the same room as you. And I know you need time with them too. It's not because I'm jealous, I'm on edge. Like, something could happen at any moment and I've gotta be prepared," I explained and sipped my lemonade, feeling dumb and sorry for myself.
I glanced over to see Sprout frowning and I had to look away.
"Kai," she murmured, putting her hand on my shoulder. "You should have told me. I always want to know when you're not doing well. We can work on it together, okay?"
It felt like a brick was lodged in my throat so I just nodded stiffly. The server came and placed our cheese sticks, chicken wings, and onion rings on the table, and I pushed it in front of Saige to partake first. My need to take care of her was riding me harder than anything.
"I don't want you to think I'm weak or that you need to be worried about me," I admitted and snagged an onion ring for myself.
She laughed, which wasn't the reaction I'd expected. "First of all, you're one of the strongest men I know. Second, I'm going to worry about you. I worry about all of you, because that's what you do when you love someone. Allowing someone to love you means you need to accept everything that comes with that. I'm going to worry, I'm going to be sad when you're sad, and I'm going to celebrate your wins, because they're my wins by default. Whatever we do, we do it together, okay? Don't shut me out. I need you to promise you'll talk to me and tell me what you need. We’re a family now."
"I know. And gods, I love you. Of course, when you say it like that, it makes perfect sense that you'd worry about me. I'm consumed with it when it comes to you. It's just, I've been having these... thoughts. Like, visions. Not that they come true or anything, but they feel so real when they play out in my head. All of the ways things could go wrong, how you could get hurt, or worse. How someone might take you away from me again. I think it would break me, Cub. No—it would fucking kill me. This... This whole situation has me so fucked up." I dropped my face because I couldn't look her in the eyes and see the pity.
"By the stars, Kai. That sounds horrible... No wonder you can't sleep."
"It is horrible. And yet, I keep doing it to myself. Making myself sick over ridiculous scenarios that the likelihood of it happening are near impossible. But I never thought you'd get taken to another fucking realm, or that Fischer would die, that your Mom would do that, that my memory would be wiped... So it's like my brain is preparing me for any situation. Maybe it would be less devastating or shocking if it's something I've already worked through? Fuck. I don't know. I sound like a crazy person, don't I?" My knee was jumping up and down, I couldn't stop bouncing. My nerves were going haywire and the few bites of food I'd eaten felt like a ball of lead in my stomach.
