Page 77 of The Magic of Revenge
"Fuck no, you don't sound like a crazy person. You sound like a person who's been through a lot in a short period of time. A lot of seriously messed up shit. I'm not sleeping well either. Every time I close my eyes, I see..." she trailed off and I glanced over to see tears glistening in her eyes.
"Cub..." I pulled her closer to me and she put her head against my chest. There was no better feeling in the world than holding my mate like this.
"Sorry. We're not talking about me, this is about you." She sat up and wiped at her cheeks with a napkin and then grabbed a hot wing. "Nothing like eating your emotions, am I right?" She smiled sadly and then dunked it in some ranch dressing.
"We're quite a pair, aren't we?"
"The best," she replied and then devoured more wings. My heart fluttered watching her eat.Damn, I'm a creep.Everything about her was appealing to me. Hell, I’d probably even find her farts cute. My mind drifted to the guys and I wondered if we should bring them some takeout when we went home. My thoughts took a turn then and I was spiraling down the toxic hole of self-comparison. My mouth worked faster than my brain and I found myself blurting out my thoughts.
"Cam is so strong though. Sloane, too. They're doing okay. So why can't I? Why does my head like to fuck with me so much?"
Sprout finished her bite and took a drink before answering. "I think everyone is dealing with things in their own ways. This is just our way. And look at Cam. When I first met you guys, he seemed happy enough, right? But deep down, he's carrying around all of this guilt for what happened when he was a child. A child. There was nothing he could have done for his family that day, but his mind made him feel like he'd let them down. That is Cam's downfall. His need to punish himself for things that aren't his fault. And Sloane? Does Sloane seem like a man who has his shit together?"
I barked a laugh at that, but she was right. It was so easy to compare yourself to others, especially when it came to mental illness. Wondering why you can't be like this person, or that person, but the truth was, everyone has their unhealthy coping mechanisms.
"Now that you mention it, he does seem to have some unresolved anger issues," I said and she feigned surprise.
"He does?" She held a hand to her open mouth. "I never noticed."
"You're a troublemaker," I joked and decided to try a cheese stick. I was already feeling a bit lighter after talking with Sprout. She just... got me.
"What do you think we can do to help you, Kai?" she asked, and I froze.
"Uh... I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do. It's just who I am. I'll work through it and I'll be okay, eventually."
"Yeah, that's not good enough for me. You're hurting. Actually, we're all hurting. We need to heal."
"What do you have in mind?" I asked and I watched her round cheeks blush.
She leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "Something that we'll have to do at home."
"Oh shit. Check please!" I waved at the server and Sprout giggled and playfully shoved my shoulder. She should know she couldn't just say things like that and not get an immediate reaction from me. If I could find a way to live inside of her damn body, I would.
‘Dial it down, creep,’Bagheera chuckled. I'd try, but I'd make no promises.
Isat on Saige's bed with my phone in my hand. Shit, I was nervous. Hunter's profile picture was staring back at me and I was still in utter disbelief that my brother was alive. Now I just needed to work up the courage to call him. So much time had passed. What if he hated me? Blamed me for our moms' deaths just like I blamed myself?
The guys were still outside and Sloane had so far managed to create a baby dragon with his fire magic. He wasn't happy enough with that, but it was still really fucking cool. He and Fischer had started chatting off to the side of my rainfall and wind storm, and I knew they needed the time together to work through their own shit. It was the perfect time to disappear for a bit and do what needed to be done.
I held my breath and my hand shook as I hit the little phone icon in the top right corner.Just fucking do it. He might not even answer.I hit call, and my stomach fluttered and churned. The ringing went on for what felt like forever and I knew he wasn't going to answer. Sighing, I was about to end the call when it connected.
"Hello?" A deep voice spoke through the line. His voice was every bit as deep as my own, but there was no doubt it was my brother's voice. The shock of hearing him had me pausing too long. "Is anyone there?"
"Hunter," I said softly and despite that, my voice still cracked.
The silence that followed was deafening. Tears pricked my eyes and I bit down on my fist to keep myself from letting a sob break free.
"Cam?" Hunter's voice broke the silence, and with it, my restraint at keeping the tears at bay.
"By the moon, I can't— I can't believe..." I stumbled over my words, finding it harder and harder to speak coherently while being bombarded by such strong emotions. The relief I felt was overwhelming as I looked up and silently thanked the stars for such a gift.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Hunter asked.
"What? No. What— What do you mean?"
"My brother, Cameron, died ten years ago. So who are you and why do you sound like him?"
They’d told him I was dead. Of course they did.
