Page 65 of The Magic of Eternity
She shook her head. “That’s not all that matters, and you know it. Do you know what happened to me? The day that I escaped with Sloane?”
“No,” I replied. Staring down into the water, I wished that it could wash away the stain on my soul.
“Asrael almost raped me, Guppy.”
It felt like my lungs had seized up in my chest as my eyes snapped up to hers. “What?” I growled. I moved through the water and took her into my arms. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Are you alright?”
Her arms wrapped around my waist, the pressure of her pregnant belly pressing against my own stomach. Her body had changed so much, yet she was still by far the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen. Pregnancy agreed with her. She looked like some kind of fertility goddess.
“I’m glad he’s dead,” she murmured against my chest. “I kicked him in the dick really hard.”
“Good,” I replied. “It’s the least the fucker deserved. How do you feel now, though, with everything?” Maybe she was telling me this, because on some level, she knew that I had been through something similar.
Her big green eyes gazed at me, hitting me right in the heart. “I feel like I’m free.”
Relief was rolling off of her in waves, but there was also that undercurrent of concern for me. Even after everything that she’d been through, she still put everyone else at the top of her list. It’s who she was at her core—a loving and understanding woman with the heart of gold. She’d given me so much, and I needed to be honest with her now. Truth be told, I was terrified that she would look at me differently now, but I had to trust in us, in our relationship.
“Why didn’t you want to touch me earlier?” she whispered.
I inhaled deeply through my nose. “It’s not that I didn’t want to. And I did touch you. You felt perfect. Your gorgeous body wrapped around my fingers, like it should be.”
“But?” She lifted a brow, knowing there was more. She wasn’t going to let me off easily.
“But I didn’t know that I could do it,” I replied honestly. Her brow furrowed. “When I was held prisoner here, I was tortured daily.”
“Oh gods.” Her hands flew to her mouth.
“They wanted information from me. They wanted to know about Faris and how it was that he existed. I refused to break, so they tried harder.” I pinched my nose with my fingers; my breathing was already becoming more choppy. “I’m not sure how long I’d been locked away by then; everything was blurring at that point. So it had to have been a considerable amount of time. Anyway, the demon who had been interrogating me was particularly sadistic. I was strapped to a chair, and Sloane appeared. I was thrilled—excited, you know? Finally, he was alive and he was with me, and we were going to get the fuck out of there.” Saige’s face was whiter than a ghost as she processed my words. “I figured out pretty quickly though, that it wasn’t actually Sloane. But he kept coming back, over and over.”
“No.” She shook her head so violently that water flew off the tips of her shortened hair. “Guppy, no.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I said softly, as tears began to fall from both our eyes. It felt like my throat was closing over, and I was positive that the weight of my own emotions was going to crush me. My. Own. Emotions. Not the weight of everyone else’s—no. These were all mine. Another effect of having my own mind and body completely to myself. I didn’t have Faris there anymore to buffer, to take on some of the turmoil.
Suddenly, Saige was surging through the water, heading for the ledge of the pool.Oh fuck. She’s leaving me. Is she as disgusted with me as I am?My own curiosity didn’t let me keep my mouth shut, and my voice cracked as I asked, “What are you doing?”
She looked back at me over her shoulder, and my eyes widened. Her green eyes were glowing gold.What the fuck?“I’m going to kill them. All of them.” A shriek of frustration left her as she lifted her trembling hands to her hair, tugging it. “I want to take your pain. I wish I could grasp those memories with my hands and destroy them.”
I shook my head sadly. “I know that feeling, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to do it for so many people. If there were a way for me to do it to myself, I would. I don’t know how to get myself back to what I was before.”
I might not ever be able to handle anybody’s touch again. Being in the pool, behind her, having control of the situation… My desire for her had been overwhelming. I’d needed to touch her, to make her body ripple around my fingers. However, the thought of her touching me, or any of the guys touching me—especially Sloane… Fuck.
“They tried to break me. They tried so fucking hard.” My head dipped, and I wondered for the hundredth time—why wasn’t I strong enough? Fucking hell, I was so ashamed, but I had to tell her. She needed to know the man I was before wasn’t the same man standing here now. “I think they succeeded, Saige. I think they broke me.”
Growling, she shook her head. “No. You’re not broken.” I couldn’t look away from her golden eyes that were flashing with so much emotion. Anger, fear, sadness, protectiveness, love.
“I don’t want to be. I don’t want to cringe every time one of you goes to touch me,” I whispered as the water moved gently around our legs.
“Guppy, I want to feel your heartbeat.” She lifted her palm in question.
It’s just Saige, my mate, the mother of my unborn children. I’m safe. I’m safe.I repeated those words as I nodded. Slowly, she reached out, almost as though I was a cornered animal that might bite her at any moment. Her fingertips connected with my chest, and I sucked in a breath. Fire raced through me, our connection flaring, reminding me that this right here? It was everything.
“You’re not broken,” she repeated, flattening her palm right over my thundering heart. “You’re bruised and battered. You’re strong, and one of the best men I’ve ever known. Any time you feel anything less thanmine, I’ll be here to remind you.”
My hand was suddenly squeezing hers and my other was pressed over her heart. Our eyes locked and a magnetic force seemed to hold me there. I couldn’t have looked away if I tried.
“I think I can take them, Gup. Everything in me is demanding I take this trauma from you. Please, let me try? I love you, no matter what… But if I can take them away, for good, do you want that? I won’t try it without your consent, Guppy.”
“Why do you think you can?” I asked, genuinely curious.
