Page 54 of Rough Cowboy
“Talk.” The light from the window behind hits where her hands are planted on her curvy hips.
I take a deep breath. This might be my only chance to talk to her.
“I told Sammy I was leavin’.” My breath swooshes out of my chest. “I was leavin’. I even packed my bag but couldn’t leave without seeing you.”
“Without nailing me?”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
“What do you want, Silver?”
“You. I want you.” The answer is the easiest one I’ve ever had to make in my life.
Her hands cradle her middle. “It’s not just me anymore.”
“I know that.”
“Then why are you still here? You want to stick around for diapers and sleepless nights?” She’s trying to scare me away.
“I don’t know what this is I’m feelin’ for you. I don’t know what to do next. Stay or go. Tell you you’re the only woman I’ve thought about since you left five months ago. Or that before that, you took up the same space in my head. I don’t know what to say or what to do, but neither do you.”
Her fingers tap a rapid beat against her hip.
“You’re hiding from me behind Sammy and the baby. You’re making up any excuse to get rid of me when deep down you wanted last night never to end.”
“But last night isn’t a life. It’s sex. It’s always only sex.”
Two significant steps, and I run my finger along her jaw. “Is it? Because I’ve been asking myself why I haven’t had sex with another woman for over a year. Wondering why I, the sex god, can wait—wants to wait—an entire month for you to visit Sammy. And why a part of me is so damn jealous that you never come to visit me.”
Her sweet breath hitches. “I would be asking myself those questions if it were you too.”
“All answers point to a word I’m not familiar with.”
“Don’t say it.” The fear in her eyes matches the fear in my gut.
“It’s a four-letter word,” I tease, trying to break our flaming nerves.
“Silver, that four-letter word isn’t even in your vocabulary.”
“That’s something we have in common. But tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you could care less whether it’s me, your bed, or someone else. Tell me you only pop around for Sammy. Tell me you feel nothing but sexual desire for me, and I’ll walk away.”
Seconds tick between us. “Do you want to walk away?”
I shake my head. “I want to explore this. If you think it’s just sex, let’s be abstinent together. We have a week before Sammy gets back to see if there’s more between us than a little romp in the bed, bathtub, or whatever banglefuck destination we can discover together on this ranch.”
“There’s a lot of banglefucking opportunities.” I relate to her attempts to defuse the situation with humor. “How hard can it be to share abstinence for a week.”
“Beside blue balls and pink pussy.”
Awkward and relieved laughter rumbles out of her.
“Aw, Elsie, deep down, you care for me.”
“Prove it.”
“I intend to.” I drop my hand to my side. “This doesn’t mean we can’t make a banglefucking list for when we’re done pretending to be a bored married couple who have lost their spark.”
Her luscious lips curl upward, and she lifts her chin in a sassy manner. “Add the secret attic to your list.”
