Page 16 of Rough Cowboy
I grab the handle that looks like a door, and a pullout cabinet slides out. Both sides of the cabinet are jammed packed with healthy snacks. I scan the first side, then tackle the far side.
Silver peeks his head around the pullout. “What are we doing?”
“If you say banglefuck, I’ll kick you in the balls.”
“So, no banglefucking?”
“No,” I hiss. “I’m taking an abstinence from sex.” I shuffle through bags of organic chia granola clusters and every type of nut under the sun.
“Why? How? Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. I’m focusing on me right now.” Shelf after shelf comes up empty of anything not healthy. My craving intensifies inside of me.
“What are you looking for?”
“If you dig deep enough, you can find your dad’s unhealthy snack stash. I’m not good at controlling my cravings. When they set in, nothing else matters.” I bend to the bottom shelf and dig through it. “Three days ago, your mom had to drive me to the variety at midnight for a bag of hot Cheetos.”
“Hot Cheetos? You don’t like Cheesies.”
“It’s a pregnancy craving!” I don’t mean to shout, and I’m surprised he knows I’m not too fond of cheesies.
“Alright, now,” he says, calm and smooth as whiskey like he’s got everything under control. “He used to store them higher so us kids couldn’t reach.”
Silver circles around the small corner nook. His front rubs against my back as his arm reaches for the shelf out of my grasp. The bags rustle above me.
“It’s hot Cheetos and yogurt.” I try to control my tone and drag it back down to a friendly level. “The variety had been sold out of yogurt, and we ended up pounding on Wilma and Faye’s door. Both your mom and I were in our pajamas. The sisters were half asleep and still invited us in to eat.”
The sounds above stop. “I’d try it.” The crinkling resumes. “Ah-ha. Old habits die hard.” He steps back into the tiny corner. It gives me space to turn around.
“Thank you.” I reach for the bag, but he holds it up.
“I enjoy weird facts,” he says.
“I bet you do, but I don’t need two walking dictionaries reciting information on my every move.”
“What do you need?”
My hands automatically circle my stomach and the baby I’m now responsible for giving the very best life I can. “I need the father of my baby to step up and take responsibility. No mater which Wilde brother it is.”
Coolness sweeps over his eyes. His arms drop to his side. “I hope that for you, Els.”
Blackness fills the room, and the pantry door thumps shut.
“What the hell?” Silver grumbles, handing me the bag.
The cheesy smell wafts up my nostrils, and my stomach growls. I slide off the clip and fumble through the dark to sit on the shelf. The strong urge consumes me like I’m an addict.
Silver rounds the pullout cabinet when voices stop him.
“No one will look for us in here.” I recognize Silver’s granddad whisper.
Silver steps back with me. The pullout cabinet conceals us. My eyes are still adjusting to the darkness, but I see him rest a single finger against his mouth to keep me quiet.
I stick a Cheetos in my mouth. I can’t help the fierce need bubbling up inside me.
“Are you sure?” An older woman’s hushed voice carries a hint of worry. “Wouldn’t your room be safer?” I swear that’s Hope’s grammy.
I hold back my laugh and nearly choke on the Cheeto I’m sucking on.
