Page 286 of Boots, Bucket Lists & Bad Ideas
“After you left, I started to squirrel away—more than usual. I built walls around myself. I didn’t want anyone getting too close to me. I couldn’t risk it. So I pushed people away. My sisters and my parents. Even guys. I promised myself that no one was hurting me again.”
Her words stab me in the chest.
I did that to her.
I took away her trust.
Me.
Fucking me.
“But in that dark, intimidating place, I found my voice.” Her tone softens, as if trying to ease the weight of my regret. “I discovered my strength, my power, and chose not to back down, even when people didn’t like my opinions or ideas.”
Her words sink in. I’m so damn proud of her. More than words can express. And yet, part of me can’t shake the thought that helping her grow doesn’t erase the hurt I caused.
I swallow hard, the guilt churning inside me. I wish I could take it all back. The years of silence, the hurt we both carried.
“I broke you.” The words leave my mouth without thinking. “I really broke you.” I feel my heart sink in my chest. “I didn’t mean to, Jade, but I did.”
Her gaze softens. “No. You didn’t break me. We were kids. Everything was against us. Our families. The whole town.”
It’s hard not to hate every last one of them.
“I don’t blame you for what happened.” Her fingers squeeze the sides of my face. “But more importantly, you have to stop blaming yourself.” Her voice is steady and strong. “We didn’t know what we were doing, and the way things ended, it wasn’t our fault.”
I close my eyes, letting the truth of her words soothe me. She’s not angry at me anymore. She’s not holding onto the pain. She understands. But somehow, that makes it hurt even more.
“Hey.” She waits for me to open my eyes. “We’re not regretting our past mistakes every time one comes and bites us in the ass, right?” She throws my words back at me.
How irritating.
How Jade.
I inhale deeply. “Right.”
“That wasn’t very convincing.”
I realize, for the first time in years, that maybe I can let go of the guilt that’s been eating at me for so long.
“I’m trying.” I kiss her, slowly, deeply, forgetting the cake.
She breaks the kiss this time. “Your turn.”
Her robe falls off her shoulders as she stands, pooling on the floor by her feet.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
Every inch of her. It would be so simple to lean forward and catch her breast in my mouth and clutch her bare ass with my hand. But I’m lost in her sultry smile and stay seated as she straddles my lap.
I almost lose it: the heat, pressure, and nothing between us but the barrier of my robe.
I grip her hips, but she rolls her body against mine, and I swear I see stars.
“Jade,” I groan, dragging in a sharp breath. “You’re killing me.”
“Oh, that’s adorable.” She picks up my slice of cake with her fingers.
I lean my head back. “Don’t you get a speck of frosting on my robe.”
