Page 198 of Boots, Bucket Lists & Bad Ideas
I press my finger into his chest. “You shook hands with the people who hated our family, and broke bread with the same guy who put a bullet in you.”
My brother says nothing.
“Hard to defend a guy who shot you, huh? And you sure as hell can’t defend pursuing Hope while healing from that same bullet wound.”
But none of that is what really angers me. The deeper anger is that I didn’t pursue. He had the balls to fight for her, bullet wound and all.
I did nothing.
I walked away.
Like a fucking coward.
“That’s what I thought.” I stalk around him.
“That feud is over, Hart. We’ve all moved past it, and it’s time you did too.”
“Yeah, well, not before it killed my shot at happiness.” I don’t mean to say the words, but they’re so fucking true.
“You’re killing your own shot, man,” he says, like he knows what I’m referring to.
I’ve never told him about that year with Jade—never told anyone. And I’d bet my life that Jade hasn’t either. So, he’s grasping at straws and thinking he knows something when he doesn’t have a damn clue.
“Every glare,” he continues. “Every snarky remark and insult.” His tone drips with the same snarky and insulting tone. “You’re nailing your own coffin shut.”
I nailed that coffin shut years ago. He doesn’t understand. This isn’t some story about me falling for a Fox and wanting her from a distance. This is the story of how I fell madly in love with her, loved her with the deepest parts of myself—then hurt her beyond repair.
“Don’t pin your guilt on me,” he says.
I inhale a painful breath as I lift the fuel cap and twist it to make sure it’s securely fastened, the beam from my flashlight illuminating the area.
“You bulldozed your way through the feud like consequences didn’t apply to you.” I run a hand around the rim of the fuel filler, making sure no dirt or debris clogs the seal.
“I was exactly where you are, man.” He sounds like he’s convinced himself of that. “I know the guilty feeling you’re harbouring. And that inner battle of what to do, I get it.”
He doesn’t.
“I hurt her, too. Hope. I hurt her just like you hurt Jade. All in the name of the feud.”
“You don’t know shit.”
I shine the flashlight around the fuel filler area. The beam flickers as I check for any rust or signs of wear. Which I’ve already done, and I know it’s peachy.
“You know I do. I was in the same house.” His voice hardens as he pushes off the bus. “Heard the same lectures. Same threats.I walked away, too.” I don’t like him trying to peel back the layers of my defense.
“You fucking married her!” The words come out sharper than I intend.
My chest tightens.
My fists clench at my side.
“And I’d do it again.” He exhales a slow, irritated breath. “Dude, why are you so mad at me when even our fathers have laid the feud to rest?”
Because he fought for Hope, and I didn’t fight for Jade.
“Because you’re a selfish bastard.” The words cut through the space between us, thick with bitterness.
I can barely hold his gaze.
