Page 42 of Sinful Lies
Chapter 25
Tank
Ithink about strippingout of my clothes in the hallway, so Dia doesn’t see the blood stains but then decide against it. She might question me coming in this late in nothing but my underwear. Instead, I grip the knob and twist it gently, inching the door open slowly. Hopefully, I can make it to the shower without waking her up.
The thought of Dia asleep in my bed fills me with the most incredible feeling I’ve ever had. Satisfaction? Need? I struggle to pinpoint the exact emotion. It’s a combination of all of them. Happiness is the best I can come up with. Pure happiness despite the shit show of events bringing us back together. I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, leaving her by far the worst, but she’s here now. My cock stirs behind the zipper of my jeans, as I get the first whiff of her perfume through the widening crack in the door. After I’ve cleaned Ben’s blood off me, I’ll wake her up and show her just what it means to me to have her back.
I squeeze through the small opening I’ve allowed myself and ease the door shut. Being careful to not let it squeak or the latch click too loud. I don’t want any part of Ben near her again. Not even his blood.
I gently place my boots on the floor next to the dresser and steal a glance at her in the mirror.
What the fuck?
I read the message a second time before the words finally settle into my thick skull.
My heart will always belong to you, but I need to go. XOXO
I brace myself on the edge of the dresser as my knees suddenly feel weak.
Tightening my fist, I slam it into the mirror. Shattering it into a dozen jagged bolts shooting out from the hole in the center of her goodbye. Howling like a wounded animal as I swing my arm across the top of my dresser, crashing everything on top of it to the floor.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Chainz bellows from the doorway, taking in the sight of me dying a slow, agonizing death.
The words sting my tongue like venom as I force myself to admit the bitter truth. “She’s gone.”
The only woman I’ve ever allowed close enough to rip out my heart and crush it under the heel of her shoes has done just that. I was so focused on my own wants and needs that it never crossed my mind she didn’t share my feelings. She had come to me. Hadn’t she?
Was the only reason she was here to punish me? Karma is a son of a bitch, for sure. Ten years ago, I left her and now we’ve come full circle.
Cobra and Fuel come barreling in behind Chainz. More witnesses to my psychotic break. I look away from the shattered reflection of a man in the mirror. “Dia left and I need a fucking drink.”
I charge past them out into the hallway, where crash room doors open. My brothers and their whores stare at me.
“What you need is to have that hand looked at. Go see Mercy now.” Chainz demands.
Any other time I’d do as my President orders, but tonight I don’t give a fuck about the rules. I don’t care about anything but nursing my bruised ego in a bottle of Jack. Not even the sting or the blood on my knuckles hurt as bad as my chest does at this very moment. I stomp down the stairs, the metal clanking under the weight of my heavy steps.
I corner the bar in the common room and twist a towel around my hand, tucking the end in between my thumb and fingers. I find the bottle of jack, twist the top off between my teeth and spit the cap out. Red spreads across the towel as I grip the bottle tighter, lifting it to my lips. The burn of the alcohol numbs my senses and my pain.
“Tank, let me look at that.” Mercy gingerly pries the bottle from my hand. Her gentle touch soothing the beast roaring inside of me. She strips the towel from my hand and flattens my palm in hers. “This needs stitches. I’ll be right back.”
I take another swig from the bottle and flop myself down on a bar stool. Mercy returns with her medical bag and reluctantly I give her my hand. She threads the needle through my flesh to close the only open wound she can tend to. “Want to tell me what happened?”
“I was fooling myself that after all these years, we could pick up where we left off. That someone like Dia could love a man like me, that she could accept our world.”
“I’m sorry Tank,” Her eyes stay tilted downward. “But drinking is only a temporary solution for the pain. You’ll have to face it, eventually.”
“Not tonight I don’t.” I saunter away from her with the rest of the bottle as soon as she dresses the gauze on my hand.
****
Iwake up face downon the couch in the common room with a rock band holding a concert in my head. My bandaged hand stretched out, still clinging to the empty bottle on the floor. My mouth is as dry as the Sahara Desert and tastes like ass.
The clubhouse is full of noise. Everyone going about their business like nothing has happened. Like the last twenty-four hours haven’t changed everything. It’s all changed for me, shot to shit in a blink of an eye and I didn’t even see it coming.
I just want to crawl back into the bottle and forget how close I had gotten to a normal life. I stagger to the bar. My brothers watch me with pity in their eyes. They can’t know my pain. Except for Chainz, they’re all happy as pigs in shit to sample the endless supply of pussy available.
Two weeks ago, I was just like them. My feelings buried so deep they couldn’t hurt me and now look at me. Women are fucking hell.
