Page 19 of Steel & Jenna
Jenna placed her tray on the table furthest from the door. The chain-link fence at their back separated them from the utility shed. On the other side of the shed was the baseball field and track. As a school with ice hockey as their main sport, they didn’t have the traditional football field and stadium. Most of their school events happened in their gymnasium or at the ice rink on the outskirts of town, even when it wasn’t hockey season.
It had been a long time since the wooden tables had been sanded. Not wanting Jenna to get a splinter, he placed his books and her shoulder bag down on the table before removing his jean jacket. Then he placed the material down on the seat to protect her.
She smiled sweetly at him before sitting. “Your jacket’s going to have an imprint of my butt now.”
“How do you know that wasn’t my true intention?”
Though her cheeks flushed beautifully at his words, her smile widened. Then she wiggled her hips as if to make a deeper impression into his jacket.
Chuckling, Jack stepped up onto the seat, twisted, and then sat down on the table next to her tray. He wanted to be looking at her while they talked, but sitting across the table seemed too far away. Fuck, how was he this wrapped up in this girl already? He was thrilled she’d agreed to go shopping with him and Lilly this afternoon. It would delay having to say goodbye to her.
Jenna picked up her fork and speared a broccoli floret. “Tell me about your parents.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. He’d mentally told himself just now in the hallway that he was going to tell Jenna everything, but the idea still made his heart race and stomach churn. “Going right for the jugular, I see.”
To her credit, Jenna didn’t back down. “Seems like something Ishould know about since the first thing that was said to me as soon as our classes separated was to stay away from you because of your parents.”
Jack had to hand it to his peers. They certainly worked that rumor mill to their advantage. “I’m not arguing with you and I was never planning on hiding it. Just kinda figured it was something we would ease into.” When she said nothing and continued to stare up patiently at him, Jack let out a long sigh. “Fine, but it’s a bit of a story. You eat,” he gestured to her broccoli, “while I talk.”
She popped the broccoli into her mouth. As she chewed, she grabbed an apple and forcefully placed it into his right hand. Swallowing, she said, “Youeat while you talk.”
Knowing they wouldn’t have time before the bell rang to have that conversation too, Jack accepted the red apple and took a large bite out of it. Her smile was worth the bruise to his pride that she had bought him food.
“How familiar are you with Port Townsend? Do you know where the lower docks are?”
Jenna pursed her lips around her next bite as she thought. “I think so. But they’re on the north side of town, right?”
He nodded. “They’re called ‘lower’ due to status, not geography. Other towns have the expression ‘the wrong side of the tracks’. We have ‘the wrong side of the docks’. There are a lot of good people up that way too, just less fortunate in different ways. But there are a lot of rotten eggs too. People who blame anyone and everyone for their mistakes and circumstances.
“Other than tourist summer parties, that side of town is where the crime happens. Drugs, alcohol, prostitution… You name it, we’ve got it. It’s like the dark stain of an otherwise pristine town.” Jack paused to take a bite of apple and to get his thoughts in order. He’d never told anyone this story before. Never had to. “My mom got pregnant with me when she was sixteen.” He gestured to the utility shed behind the fencing. “Good chance I was conceived in there or in the janitor’s closet.” His chuckle was dry and humorless. “My dad blamed my mom for trapping him in a young marriage and my mom blamed my dad for knocking her up and ruining her body. For as long as I can remember, they were at each other’s throats. But it was always verbal. Just a lot of shouting.
“They rented a trailer at Four Corners. It’s a mobile home park that is basically a cesspool of all things bad about this town. I’ve lived there for as long as I can remember, but I know we didn’t move there until I was maybe three. I’ve never asked where we lived before that.
“Anyway, I was nine when my mom got pregnant again. I knew I was getting a little brother or a sister, but I didn’t understand the new tenor of my parents’ arguments. My dad claimed that he did not father that baby.” Letting out a long breath, Jack confessed, “Hestillrefuses to believe that he’s Lilly’s father. Doesn’t matter how much my mom swore she was faithful, he never believed it.
“Anyway, my dad’s always had a drinking problem. It’s kept him from holding down a steady job my entire life. Neither he nor my mom graduated high school but there’s usually a good supply of honest work to be had around these parts. As long as you show up sober,” he added unsmilingly, “which my dad did not. The more he got fired, the more he drank. Almost like he couldn’t figure out the pattern there, but that’s beside the point. After Lilly was born with her blonde hair, my dad’s drinking went from bad to worse. He’s never been a…kind man,” Jack hedged, “but it was a lot worse when he was drunk.”
He paused before adding in a softer voice, “A lotworse.”
A hand around his thigh interrupted his thoughts. Jack hadn’t realized he’d been staring off into the distance as he spoke until he looked down. Jenna had foregone her food. She had her left arm curled around his right lower thigh. For some reason, the gesture brought him more comfort than he thought a full hug would have.
Their eyes met and Jack knew he needed to see her face for this next part. “He hit her,” Jack told her in a flat voice. “I was ten the first time.”
Jenna closed her eyes, turning her face into his bent knee. She didn’t look disgusted, though. Sad, definitely. There was no trace offear on her face either, as if worrying if the acorn didn’t fall far from the tree.
“I tried to fight back,” Jack confessed, “and he broke my arm.”
He could feel her chin tremble against his knee. Her eyes squeezed together tighter.
“My mom took me to the ER. Made me swear that I would never step between them again. Said my only job was to protect Lilly.” The echoed sounds of past shouts and the harsh slap of skin on skin filled his ears for a moment, distracting him from his tale. Clearing his throat, he said, “So I did. Lilly became my responsibility.”
Opening her tear-filled eyes, Jenna turned her cheek to rest on the top of his knee as she looked up at him. “I’m so sorry, Jack.”
“I used to feel sorry for her. My mom,” he said softly. He’d never told anyone this part. “But the older I got, the less I saw her as a victim. It was like sherelishedhis anger. I can’t describe it, but it was like she wanted him angry. She dideverythingshe could to piss him off, provoke him. I don’t know why or even if I am making the right conclusion about her. It’s not like I ever asked or talked to her about it.”
They were both quiet for a long minute before Jenna asked, “When did she die?”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Who said she died?” Though not amused by the question, his tone was lighter. At Jenna’s surprised expression, Jack said, “Most of the town thinks he killed her. Hell, I did at first too. I came home from school about a year ago and found her gone. No trace of her in the trailer. I was so sure he’d killed her, but I couldn’t risk provoking him. Not with how he kept threatening to ‘get rid’ of Lilly.
