Page 74 of Steel & Jenna
Drip…
Drip…
Drip…
A Colt revolver was still in his hand.
Across the small space on the floor by the table where Mr. Zarinhad once sat Jack down to ask him about his and Lilly’s home life was Mrs. Zarin.
She was wearing that multicolored dress she loved so much. Her hair was still up in the bun she wore it in for work. She usually took it down after she got Lilly her snack. Same time that she would take off her work shoes and slip into a pair of house slippers. Her glasses lay broken beside her right hip.
Her eyes stared up sightlessly at the ceiling of the shed. Her chest, frozen in her last breath, was stained red.
Jack roared out his denial. She couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t be!
Racing over, he ripped off his jacket and placed it to the gaping hole in her chest. He couldn’t remember if he said anything specific or if he just cried out his terror and pain.
She wasn’t his mother. She hadn’t given birth to him or raised him from a baby. She’d taught him in the first grade and then he hadn’t seen or thought of her again for nine years. Then, in the span of a single weekend, she’d become the mother of his heart.
She couldn’t be gone! He wouldn’t let her!
There was so much she still had to teach him, to experience with him. He was going to graduate high school next year and marry the girl of his dreams. He was going to go to college and buy a home and give her her first grandbaby.
She couldn’t be gone! No, no, no! This wasn’t happening!
Jack’s throat burned, but he continued to shout. He applied more pressure to her wound.Come on, come on…But nothing changed. There was no gasp of life saving breath like in the movies. There was no sudden blink as she came back to reality. There was no twitch of her fingers.
Hands covered his.
Jack jumped, so focused on Mrs. Zarin that he hadn’t realized others had come into the shed. His frantic eyes met the tear stricken face of Mr. Zarin. Jack heard an odd gasping sound as other sounds started coming back to him.
Chief Cunningham was standing over Jack’s father while another officer picked up the gun with a handkerchief.
“Son.”
Jack’s eyes snapped back to Mr. Zarin. “She’s not gone,” he gasped out. It was then that he realized that odd wheezing sound was coming from him. His short breaths were sharp, almost whistling on his lips.
Mr. Zarin swallowed hard as he picked Jack’s hands up off of his wife’s chest. It took him several tries before he was able to say, “She’s gone, son. You can’t help her now.”
Jack shook his head. “No! No! I can’t. She can’t. I…” He looked around, needing something, anything, that could help save her. But there was nothing. They were in a maintenance shed, not a hospital. “Get an ambulance! She’s not gone!”
Mr. Zarin moved Jack’s jacket to cover his wife’s face. He maneuvered himself over her legs to crouch beside him. “She’s gone, son.” His voice cracked. “There’s nothing more for you to do.”
“I tried,” Jack gasped. “I tried… I didn’t mean… I tried…”
“I know.” Mr. Zarin wrapped an arm around Jack, pulling him into his chest. The man was shaking so badly that it felt like he was being pressed up against a motor.
Jack gripped Mr. Zarin’s arm. Even with the jacket covering her face, he couldn’t look away. He could still see her smile, hear her laugh, smell her perfume… It was so vivid. Like she was standing right next to them.
Why was she gone? How? How could the world and the universe take away two mothers from him so cruelly? One by choice and the other by violence.
Why couldn’t he save her? Why hadn’t he been faster, smarter? If he’d only come home from school sooner or realized that they were in the shed instead of taken to his father’s trailer as he’d assumed? If only he’d gotten Lilly into the house faster, he could have saved her!
Jack didn’t know how long they stayed next to Mrs. Zarin’s body. He couldn’t feel anything beyond Mr. Zarin’s embrace. Someone mentioned Lilly’s name, and it snapped Jack out of his fog. Lilly. His sister. He needed to get to his sister.
He looked up. Chief Cunningham was standing right there. The man had his hat off and his head bowed, waiting as respectfully as he could. Someone had placed a white sheet over Jack’s father, which was now stained red.
Somehow, Jack managed to stand. He didn’t quite remember meaning to but at the same time knew he had to.
