Page 93 of Steel & Jenna
Jack was in love with Jenna Soon-to-be-Duncan. He was. He couldn’t imagine a life without her. He wanted her beyond sex and intimacy. There was something fundamental about it, like they were one being that had been split into two pieces and found their other half. There was no evil in the world, no pain, no suffering, when he was in Jenna’s arms.
That told him all he needed to know.
But was he ready for marriage?
Mr. Zarin hadn’t been trying to scare him or talk him out of marrying Jenna, but the man had raised a couple of good points. People jumped into marriage too quickly. The societal pressure to ‘be married’ was strong, but it was also the cause of the high divorce ratein the country.
Jack was about to become a Marine. In a month, he would be reporting to Parris Island in South Carolina. The recruiter Mr. Zarin had put Jack in touch with had already bought Jack’s plane ticket and arranged transportation to the base from the airport. It was short notice, but there were only two times per year that the Marines accepted recruits. If he didn’t go in June then he’d have to wait until January. It didn’t make sense to wait, as the sooner he went, the sooner he graduated, and the sooner his benefits as a Marine started.
Benefits Jenna would only get as his wife. Lilly too, since he was her legal guardian.
But he shouldn’t be marrying Jenna so he could get his military benefits. And he wasn’t. He was marrying her because he loved her.
So what was this? Why was he questioning what he knew he wanted? Why was he wondering if he was about to make a mistake in four days? Because it wasn’t a mistake to marry Jenna. He knew that down to the marrow of his bones. But what if the mistake was marrying hernow?
Jack wasn’t a Marine yet. He only had a couple thousand dollars to his name. If asked currently what his employment was, he’d have to say a part-time grocery store bagboy. Jenna wasn’t marrying a Marine in four days. She was marrying a part-time, small town employee who made minimum wage.
He didn’t have a house to his name. Not that he wanted his father’s trailer, but that had only been a rental. His father hadn’townedanything. The old beater he’d been driving for years had turned out to be stolen, which meant the police confiscated it. John Duncan had left nothing behind for his children. Which was fine—because Jack wanted nothing from the man.
But Jack refused to follow in his father’s footsteps. He wanted tobecomesomebody. He wanted Jenna to be proud to be married to him. Not because she loved him, but because of who he was as a man.
And he wasn’t that man yet.
Both Mr. Zarin and Chief Cunningham had told Jack that he would discover who he was and what he was made of during bootcamp. He would learn things about himself that he hadn’t known. At the end, if he made it to graduation day—which he would—he would look in the mirror and see a man, not a boy.
What was another couple of months of waiting to get married? They’d waited this long, they could wait a little longer.
To have an actualwedding. With the decorations and the guest list and the reception and the dress and the… Well, whatever else weddings involved. He wasn’t really sure. But didn’t Jenna deserve that? Didn’t Jenna deserve to walk down the aisle towards Jack on her father’s arm?
Jack wasn’t seeking the man’s approval. He could care less what the man thought, but he knew that Mr. Scanlon’s rejection and Mrs. Scanlon’s actions had hurt Jenna. Mrs. Scanlon was serving time for her crimes and she would never have Jack’s forgiveness because her selfish actions had caused the death of an innocent woman. Though Mr. Scanlon was innocent of her crimes, he had done nothing to stop his now ex-wife.
Jack could care less about what Mr. Scanlon thought of him. The man didn’t deserve a daughter as good and purehearted as Jenna. ButJennadeserved a father who was kind, accepting, and loved her enough to let her make her own choices and decisions. Jack hated that she didn’t have that and it wasn’t something he could give to her.
The passenger door to his truck opened. Lilly tossed her backpack onto the floorboard before climbing in.
“Hi, Jackie!”
“Hi, Lillypad.” His little sister was almost ten years old. How the hell had that happened? They were already planning on celebrating her birthday in South Carolina, because it was the same week as Jack’s graduation from boot camp. She was also the only person in the world who got away with calling him ‘Jackie’. “How was school?”
“Boring. We’re so close to the end of the year that most of the teachers just have us watching movies or slideshows. Mrs. Bulow’s carousel projector got jammed so she took us outside for an extra recess.”
“That’s awesome.” Jack carefully pulled out of the lineup to head home.
“Is Jenna coming over tonight?”
Despite his mental concerns, Jack’s heart still skipped a beat at the mention of Jenna’s pending arrival. “She is.”
“She’s taking me dress shopping for the wedding on Sunday.”
Jack already knew that. Lilly was upset that she was only allowed to skip school on Tuesday to attend the wedding, unlike Jack and Jenna who were also missing Monday and Wednesday next week. But she was thrilled about getting a new dress as well as a sister.
Lilly didn’t seem to be grasping the concept of ‘sister-in-law’ and instead kept referring to Jenna as her future ‘sister’. Not that Jenna or Jack really cared. In truth, Jenna found it adorable and claimed that she already thought of Lilly as a sister, which of course had made Lilly’s day.
Jack knew that Jenna had a dress already for the wedding. He hadn’t seen it and knew nothing about it. All she’d said was that she’d found it while prom dress shopping, so Jack wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.
He was wearing his black suit with a black tie. Done and simple.
But wasn’t simple the problem here? Jenna deservedextravagant.
