Page 11 of Raising Love
“He’s… beautiful,” Mrs. Simmons said, her bottom lip trembling. “I haven’t seen his eyes yet, but… uh…” She inhaled deeply. “The shape of them? It’s all Kendra.”
“He,” I repeated, a small smile pulling at my lips. “It’s a boy.”
“A boy,” Mr. Simmons exhaled, looking up at the ceiling as if to hold his tears back.
“Kendra swore it was a girl,” I said, my slight giggle morphing into a weighted sigh as I ran a hand down my face. I glanced at Leo, leaning against the wall behind us, his eyes cast down at the floor.
He hadn’t shed a tear, but his eyes looked like he’d been crying for hours.
“They won’t let us see him,” I told the Simmons. “Which… I guess I understand why.”
“I took a picture,” Mrs. Simmons said softly, pulling out her phone and thumbing in her password. “They told us it was okay.”
That got Leo off the wall and heading in our direction.
The first thing I noticed in the picture was how tiny Kendra and Tyrell’s son was, his delicate features framed by the medical equipment that underscored both his vulnerability and strength.
“What are all these things on him?” I asked, pointing at the IV line in his arms and legs and the tube in his nose. “Is he okay? Was he hurt?”
Mrs. Simmons nodded quickly. “He’s fine. He’s… great, actually. Full-term, due only in two weeks, so…” She paused to nod while dabbing her eyes with her fingers. “He was developed enough to survive outside of the womb.” She swallowed hard and blinked back the rest of her tears. “The wires and tubes, it’s just… it’s protocol. Preventative care, according to the NICU nurse.”
And aside from all the wires and tubes, he was beautiful. Laying there in a clear plastic enclosure and on what looked to be soft bedding. He looked so small.
I swallowed back the cry I could feel forming in my throat as a knot and exhaled a stuttered breath.
“I know,” Mrs. Simmons said, her voice breaking as her eyes filled with tears. “I know.”
I drew her into another hug, holding her tightly while forcing back my tears by holding my breath.
We all spent a few more minutes on the NICU floor before deciding to leave and return the next day.
I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. This was all so crazy and too sudden.
In situations like this, I always thought that I would get to a quiet space—often back at home, pull out my phone, and dial up Kendra, starting our conversation with, “Girl, let me tell you what happened.” But I couldn’t do that now. I would never be able to do that ever again. Because Kendra was what happened. My best friend was gone.
Leo walked me to my car in the parking lot, the both of us silent. The only sounds were those of our footwear tapping along the asphalt.
“I’m so tired,” I said as I pulled out my key fob. “But I have no idea how I’m going to be able to go back to sleep.”
“Tell me about it,” he replied.
The redness in his eyes had subsided, though it seemed even more pronounced against his light brown skin.
I was sure my eyes looked no better. Leo and I were the same light brown complexion, and grief had clearly painted its toll on both of us.
“Did you park in the lot?” I asked.
“I took a cab here,” he revealed. “I was at the club when I got the call. Too drunk to get into any car to drive.”
We stared at each other for a moment, my chin quivering as the reality of the night finally started to settle in.
“I can’t believe they’re gone, Leo,” I whispered, unable to contain the weight of the truth any longer. “Like, I am literally having a hard time accepting that our friends are gone. Just like that.”
Before a single tear could fall from my eyes, Leo stepped into my space without hesitation and wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding me close.
And I let it all out—every ounce of whatever I was feeling that made the air impossible to breathe and the truth that my best friend… no, my sister, was really gone.
FOUR
