Page 45 of Raising Love
What the hell was going on? Why did I not want to create even more space between us? Why did I want to eliminate the space that was there?
I lowered my attention to her lips, wanting to know what they felt like. Curious if they felt as good as they looked in that instance.
And just like that, Ivy shut her eyes, holding them closed tightly, then dropped her forehead against my ribs. “Oh, my God,” she whispered.
“Ivy—”
“Shh,” she shushed. “Please don’t say anything right now.”
She stepped back next, creating space between us until there was enough space between us to help me think straight again.
“Umm,” she whispered to herself. “Shit.”
I couldn’t say anything. Didn’t want to. Too confused and sure at the same time. Confused at the fact that I wanted to kiss my friend and still wanted to kiss her. Sure that I was officially not seeing my friend as just a friend but as something else.
She pointed up the stairs. “I’m… going to take advantage of being childfree tonight and get some sleep.”
All I could do was nod.
And in my silence, she shut her eyes and turned to walk away, stopping just before turning to face me again, then turning to face the stairs once more.
As if she were having a dispute in her head, contemplating if she should go or stay, as I stood there, genuinely stunned.
“Shit, Leo,” she expressed, dropping her arms at her side. “What the hell is happening right now between us? Like… what?”
I parted my lips to say something. “I… I...”
I simply couldn’t think of anything to say in that moment.
“Fuck,” she whispered, then grunted, pressing her hands to her face as she turned to climb the stairs. “Good night.”
“Good night,” I whispered to myself.
Shit.
So much for focusing on our responsibilities and not allowing our relationship to change… because what the hell was even that?
TEN
ivy
I sighed as my eyes peeled open and were met with darkness. I took a deep breath a second later, my eyes moving around my room in search of something familiar.
Two months in, and I still woke up in my bed wondering where the hell I was.
I sat up slowly, twisting my head to my right. Reaching for my phone a breath later, I pressed the device’s side button to light up the screen to check the time. It was 3:03 in the morning. I had been getting up at the same time since moving out to Greene Gardens.
I pinched the inner corners of my eyes and kicked off the bedding covering me.
Like most nights, when I’d awaken in the middle of the night, I decided to take a trip to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and check on Baby Love before returning to my room to force myself to go back to sleep.
Baby Love had been sleeping really well. Truthfully, I was too before moving out here and having to take care of him. His waking in the middle of the night his first month in the house was handled by the baby nurse we hired. But when her time was up, and it was up to Leo and me… mostly me, getting up in the middle of the night seemed to throw off my circadian rhythm. Because now, without even trying, and long after Baby Love was sleep-trained to perfection, sleeping practically through the night, I was still getting up at 3 a.m.
I took quiet steps down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, spotting Leo’s sneakers neatly set to the side by the shoe rack.
He had gotten better at cleaning up after himself and keeping things in order around the house, when he was home.
Though he had gotten better with chipping in with his time and energy to raise the baby, he still had his obligations, especially now that he signed on to the LEGO brand and agreed to partner with them to develop his limited edition set.
