Page 48 of Raising Love
Years later, he was making my body feel things it hadn’t ever felt as he slid a hand into my varsity shorts then behind my panties, his fingers nestling comfortably between my lower lips.
I exhaled into his mouth, spreading my legs wide enough for him to circle those fingers against my wet bud as I circled my hips in time with his caresses.
He moaned against me, growing hard against me too, sending my mind racing with so many thoughts I couldn’t single one out to give it the attention it needed.
Because I didn’t want to do that shit. I didn’t want to think. I wanted to feel any and everything else, remember?
So peeling myself out of my shorts and him ridding himself of his lounge pants was the obvious next move. Getting a condom would have been the other, but we were so caught up, I was so caught up in the moment, that reaching between us and angling him against my warmth seemed like the natural next move.
Our eyes locked as he steadied himself so I could guide him in. Our jaws dropping at the same time. At the point of penetration, our pupils dilated.
“Fuuuck,” he whispered, sounding defeated, and drawing that word out until he was out of breath. That acted like the relinquishing of common sense for the both of us as he initiated his first series of deep thrusts shortly after that.
We were adults. Friends. Two attractive, consenting adults who were also going through one of the most uniquely traumatizing experiences.
This should be fine. It should be okay… right?
Leo hooked my right thigh with his right forearm, holding me wide open and plunging deeper.
“Shit, you’re inside of me,” I whispered, too swept up in the moment to grasp the full weight of my words. I struggled to keep my eyes from rolling back, giving in for just a second. “Damn, Leo, you’re so deep!”
“I can go deeper,” he said to me, his eyes becoming low-lidded the more heat we conjured up between us. “You want me to go deeper, Ivy? Can you take it?”
His question left his lips and got lodged in my consciousness, leaving me stuck between who we were and what we were doing. Him aiming to make me unravel and me desperate to see his face transform with mine from the pleasure happening inside of me.
My walls fluttered uncontrollably, my back arched instinctively, pushing back against him as if possessed, meeting each of his thrusts.
In our stare, I nodded a response to his question, and that made him breathe harder. Go deeper.
I bit my bottom lip in reaction, parting my lips long enough to tell him, “You fuck really well.”
“Yes, I do,” he said with a smirk, his face contorting briefly as he reacted to my grip. “Only you would say something like that out loud.”
“Shut up.” I whimpered then exhaled. “And you’re gonna make me come if you keep doing that, Leo.”
“Mmm-hmm.” He folded his bottom lip into his mouth. “Why do you think I’m doing it like that, Ivy?”
I clenched my teeth, recognizing a familiar pull down low between us.
“‘Cause ain’t that the point?” He grabbed a handful of my ass and held me open. “For us to come, Ivy League?”
He stared into my eyes and glided in even further.
“Let me see you come for me,” Leo murmured, pushing deeper with a grin. “Ivy League,” he groaned, his voice thick with desire as he licked his lips. “Still hate that nickname, Ivy, or does it feel different now?”
And for the first time in the history of him teasing me with that annoying ass nickname… I liked it this time. Loved it, actually. Or did I love him sliding in and out between my slick walls, encouraging me to lose myself in the friction.
“Fuck you, Leo,” I said or mouthed, I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t hear my voice or hear anything for that matter, blinking erratically until I couldn’t help conceding to the weighted pulsing where we connected. It was so intense I had to close my eyes and brace myself. The sensation swelled like a wave, clouding my eyes and blurring my vision with tears.
“Yeah, just like that,” he gritted over me. “God, your pussy feels so good around me. Why do you feel so fucking good?”
And he felt so good inside of me too, but I couldn’t respond. Too out of breath to speak, because I was coming and finally feeling good again after months of feeling like shit. My jaw was slacked as my mind was finally cleared of everything. My thoughts, concerns, and doubts. Unable to consider who was making me come and why he probably shouldn’t have been the one to have an orgasm with.
That feeling I was desperately chasing, the one beyond the sadness and grief, finally hit me. My toes curled so hard they ached, and my whole body started shaking under Leo, threatening to throw off our rhythm
He grabbed the bars of his headboard, using his grip around it for leverage. He grunted while thrusting harder, going deeper, our bodies slapping against each other now, echoing with our voices around his room.
I clung to him like I had never clung to a man ever in my life. Held him so close I could feel his heart hammering with mine as I journeyed through a pulsing sensation that forced me to forget who he was and who I was to him. It just silenced everything. Those racing thoughts were no more, replaced with ringing in my ears. I felt safe, raw, hollowed out, and like I was falling up and flying at the same damn time.
