Page 75 of Raising Love
A wave of gratitude swept over me. Leo and I had held off on naming Baby Love, and now I was so thankful we had.
I pulled the journal away from my chest, my tear-filled eyes returning to the page. I read further, soaking in her words.
I still believe Ivy and Leo are meant to be, more than they know. Being godparents and sometimes needing to work together when Tyrell and I ask them to might just show them the beautiful bond they share but that they’ve yet to uncover.
I crumpled into a mess of sobs.
For months, I’d wished I could pick up the phone and call her, desperate to hear her voice again. She wasn’t just my best friend—she was my sister. My only true confidant.
If she were here, she would’ve been the first person I called after both hookups with Leo.
And I just knew if she were still here, she would holler with laughter and pepper me with “I told you so.”
Reading her journal reminded me of how deeply my friend understood things—often beyond what I could comprehend. Her insistence that Leo and I were perfect for each other had always seemed ridiculous to me. We were polar opposites in so many ways. But now… I wasn’t so sure.
Because the truth was, I did have feelings for him. Feelings that had only grown stronger since we’d been intimate.
As much as I wanted to pretend that him moving out made it easier to maintain a clean, quiet, organized environment… the reality was, I missed him.
A lot.
It wasn’t just his presence I missed. I missed his touch.
We’d only done it twice, but already I could feel the ache of withdrawal.
We’d kept things cordial enough when I’d dropped the baby off at his loft so I could hang out with my mom and attend the grief support meeting. But even in those brief interactions, it was hard to ignore the truth I couldn’t avoid admitting now: I missed him.
Sniffling, I wiped my tears, preparing to keep reading the last few journal entries from Kendra when I heard the baby wake from his nap.
The sound of his little voice, babbling and cooing, pulled my attention instantly.
A smile spread across my lips as I pushed myself up from the carpet, making my way to his nursery.
“Hey… Levi,” I said the moment I stepped into the room, his little eyes found mine, and his face lit up with a big, gummy smile.
“Oh, you like that, huh?” I whispered softly, my chest tightening with the kind of love I never thought I’d feel for anyone, let alone a baby.
I leaned over the crib railing, placing my hand gently on his soft, round belly. “Levi.”
His smile widened at the sound of the name, and my heart swelled.
“You like that, don’t you?” I asked, my voice catching with emotion. “Good. Because you look like a Levi.”
I scooped him up, planting a kiss on his chubby little cheek. He responded by brushing his hand against my face, his tiny fingers grazing my skin.
My heart melted.
If someone had told me a year ago that I would fall head over heels in love with a baby, I would have laughed in their face. I thought I didn’t like kids. I’d never been around them before Levi.
But Levi had changed everything.
“Let’s get you your bottle,” I said softly, cradling him as I headed to the bottle warmer.
Once it was ready, I sat down with him in the rocking chair, settling him in a comfortable position as I offered him his milk.
The room was quiet except for the soft sounds of Levi drinking, the rhythmic creak of the rocking chair, and the warmth of his tiny body resting against mine.
As I held him, my thoughts drifted back to the final words, Kendra’s last journal entry, that I’d read in Kendra’s journal before I had to leave it behind to tend to Levi.
