Page 81 of Raising Love
“Oh.” Jaleel’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh! Y’all never?—”
“No.”
“Oh,” he repeated, nodding slowly. “’Cause… I figured you two already?—”
“Never,” I said firmly. “Ever, ever. I’ve never seen her like that before, and to my knowledge, she’s never seen me like that either. Our friends used to swear we were perfect for each other, but after our first date, it was clear—we weren’t.”
“Well…” Jaleel grinned slyly. “Y’all were a match enough to take it to another level.”
I sighed, rubbing the inner corners of my eyes. “Things just… shifted when we moved into that house. She started to look different to me, man. And I don’t even know how to describe it?—”
“Oh, I get it.” Jaleel’s grin widened. “You were used to vibing with her on the easy stuff, but when you go through hard shit together? That’s different. It’s only natural things would change. Y’all get each other in a way no one else does. And no one ever will.”
“Yeah, but if things change too much, it could risk everything,” I countered. “We’ve got a kid depending on us to get along. Since we took things further, we’ve argued more. Her feelings are involved?—”
“And you haven’t been sensitive to them?” Jaleel cut in, folding his arms. “You’ve been treating her like the other women you deal with?”
I stayed quiet.
“You can’t do that, LV.” He tapped my chest. “Come on. You know better.”
“I’ve never fucked a friend before,” I admitted, laughing nervously.
Jaleel tossed his head back, his laugh echoing across the court.
“I don’t even have female friends like that,” I added, chuckling. “I’m used to women being interests, not friends. Ivy was different. She ended up in the friend box because we both understood we’d never be anything other than friends. And then we crossed the line. It was great—better than great—but I just know, if I settle into that and try to juggle everything else, I’m gonna fuck it up.”
“Have more confidence in yourself.”
I shook my head and mumbled, “You sound like my mother.”
“If you’re already saying you gon’ fuck it up, guess what?” Jaleel grinned knowingly. “You gon’ fuck it up. Speak life into your plans. You got it good, LV. Real good. Finding love in a woman like Ivy—someone as good as her, as fine as her, respectfully…” He held his hands up in mock defense. “And on top of that, she’s your friend? How do you not see the blessing in that?”
I tilted my head, letting his words sink in.
“That’s ‘cause you not thinking.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Too busy psyching yourself out, convinced you’re gonna mess it all up before even trying. At least try, shit.”
Jaleel turned and picked up his ball, his focus sharpened back on the hoop, sinking another shot. Meanwhile, I stayed rooted in place, my thoughts spiraling, struggling to keep up with shooting and everything else crowding my mind
“All I’m saying is,” he said, jogging after the ball, “it’s never too late to make things right and give it a real try. When you play games, you don’t go into it thinking you’re gonna lose, right? So stop telling yourself you’re gonna lose at love.”
“There goes that word again.” I pointed at him, my voice low. “Love. Who the hell said anything about love?”
“You didn’t have to.” Jaleel grinned wide. “It’s so fucking obvious, homie.” His laughter boomed across the court. “Now, c’mon, let’s get back to shooting.”
We spent another couple of hours practicing in the gym, the rhythmic thud of basketballs filling the space as my thoughts stayed on what Jaleel had said. Eventually, we hit the locker room to shower and change. After saying goodbye, I climbed into my black car, heading back to my loft.
As the driver navigated through the city, I replayed our conversation over and over. Jaleel’s words lingered, each one hitting deeper than I expected.
At a red light, my attention drifted out the window to a playground across the street. The spring air was crisp but warm enough to bring families out to enjoy the day. I spotted a man and woman standing together near the swings, their toddler sitting happily in the bucket seat as they pushed him back and forth.
The man had his arm draped casually over the woman’s shoulder, his posture relaxed as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. She smiled up at him before turning her focus back to the child. It was such a simple moment, but something about it made my chest tighten.
Once, seeing something like that would’ve felt like looking into a prison yard. A wife and kid? Spending free time like that? It always sounded like a life sentence to me. No escape. No freedom.
But as the light turned green and my driver pressed the gas, pulling us away, I found myself craning my neck to steal another glance at them. I wanted to stay in their world a little longer.
Maybe even wanting something like that for myself?
