Page 21 of Hurt to Love
“Where’s the patient?” She shot an accusatory look my way, as if she held me responsible for whatever had gone on.
“She’s upstairs, last door on the left.” I went to follow her, but she turned around and held up her hand.
“I can manage. No need to stand guard. Go and make some coffee or something. Be useful.” I certainly hoped she had a better bedside manner with Wednesday than she had with me. I was coming close to booting her out of the door.
“Don’t you want to know a bit about her first?” I gestured upstairs, feeling sick to my stomach about what was going through the poor girl’s head.
“I’ve been doing this for long enough. I think I’ll manage,” she said in her clipped, brusque way.
Have at it, love. Good luck getting a mute to talk to you.
Almost an hour later,I was already nursing my second coffee when Doctor Death-stare walked into the living area. However, she didn’t look as put together as she had when she’d arrived.
“How is she?” I asked, getting up to make an extra coffee.
She waved me back over to the couch, not interested in the drink I was about to offer her.
“She needs serious professional help.” She lifted her eyes to the ceiling and spoke in a quieter, more empathetic tone. “That girl has been through a horrific ordeal. I don’t know what it was, she wouldn’t say, but I’ve seen enough cases in my time to know she needs intensive counselling. She shouldn’t be here. There are facilities-”
I cut her off straight away. “She’s not leaving. I’m not packing her off to some clinic full of strangers.”
“It wouldn’t be like that. They’re trained professionals. They’ve dealt with patients in similar situations to hers. It would be in her best interests-”
“No, it wouldn’t. She needs stability. I can give that to her.” I wasn’t gonna budge on this one.
Doctor Graham ran her hands over her face and sighed. “I’m guessing there was some… sexual trauma, violence and extreme neglect. She wouldn’t let me do a full examination, but I saw bruises, old and fresh ones. She’s also malnourished. I did manage to take some bloods, so I’ll send those off first thing in the morning. If you’re really dead set against a psychiatric clinic-”
“Yes. I am,” I butted in.
“Then I do have a very good friend who specialises in these types of cases. I could get her to visit, and maybe give some in-house counselling, so to speak. I’d also like to come and see her myself, make sure she’s getting the help she needs. This isn’t something you can deal with on your own, Mr. James.”
“I’m fully aware of that, Doctor, but I was the one who found her. I saved her from the hell she was in. I’m not about to abandon her after everything she’s been through.”
Doctor Graham nodded and smiled, her harsh features becoming softer as she did. She was warming to me.
“Well, the best thing you can do is feed her. Get her outside in the sunshine. She is awfully pale and could do with a good dose of Vitamin D. No doubt those blood tests will show her lacking in that area, amongst others.” She smoothed her hands over her skirt and then stood. “It’s going to be a long road, for both of you. But I see she’s in good hands now. I’ve given her a sedative for tonight, to help settle her down.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
She turned and walked towards the door, speaking to me over her shoulder as she went. “I guessed the mutism is linked to the trauma.”
I nodded.
“She’ll come through that. Just keep talking to her. Try not to make it an issue. You can’t force these things. When she’s ready, she’ll open up. That’s where my colleague can help.”
Doctor Graham stuck out her hand for me to shake.
“Good luck. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I felt like I wanted to hug her rather than shake her hand. Truth be told, I did feel slightly out of my depth, and some professional help wouldn’t have hurt. Not when Wednesday had such deep-rooted mental and physical ailments that would take time to heal. I just prayed to God that, one day, they would. I couldn’t even contemplate the alternative.
Waking up,I felt like I’d been asleep for days underwater. My head had that cotton wool feeling about it. Everything was hazy and out of focus in my brain.
I remembered having the nightmare the night before. I remembered Cill literally breaking the door down to get into my room, and then there was a doctor. She looked more like a headmistress than a doctor, but she was kind to me, empathising with things I hadn’t even disclosed. She found out pretty early on that I didn’t like to be touched, but she worked around that quite well. I did relent and let her take some blood and do some simple checks. I knew she had a job to do and was working for and not against me. But when she mentioned an internal examination, I stood firm. I wasn’t letting anyone touch me down there, not now I had some degree of control.
The sound of pots and pans crashing about drifted up from the kitchen. I lifted the heavenly duvet cover from my body and reluctantly climbed out of the bed. I couldn’t believe the beautiful things Ryley had packed for me. Pretty sun dresses, a silky nightie and underwear, amongst other things, all with the shop tags still attached. I showered and then chose a blush pink tracksuit and pulled it on. The softness of the fabric felt sublime after living in dirty, filthy rags for months. Not to mention the feel of my skin being clean and fragrant after a much needed shower. This was like some kind of exclusive hotel. I would say I could get used to living like this, but I knew better than anyone not to take any situation for granted. Life had a way of pulling the rug out from under you at the most unexpected times.Take each day as it comes.One day at a time.
Although hiding in my room sounded like the perfect plan, I also wanted to go downstairs. It sounded like Cill was destroying the kitchen, and I did feel hungry. I crept out of the room, looking down the hallway. I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d find, but old habits die hard, and I had learnt to be on high alert at all times. When I entered the open plan living area, I could never have envisaged the sight that greeted me, not in a million years. There was Cill, wearing a frilly pink apron and cooking pancakes. Dozens of pancakes. The ones he’d already cooked were piled up on plates at the island in the kitchen, and he had the radio on full blast as he sang along to… was thatJustin Bieber? He spun around, spatula in hand, ready to flip another when he saw me.
