Page 9 of Hurt to Love
I wanted to slap his face. Did he really think it’d be that easy for me? That I could just stroll out without a second thought? If I left, my family would suffer twice as hard. I couldn’t do that to them. They’d already been through enough.
I stepped across the room to stand in front of him and pulled at the steel collar that was welded around my neck. Then I reached out and slammed the door shut.
“A collar. I’m guessing they have some sort of tracker in there?”
I nodded, and he hung his head.
“Is there a key to that thing?” He reached up to touch the collar and I froze. His touch was warm and didn’t make my skin crawl like it did when the brothers touched me. He swirled it around, looking for an opening. He wouldn’t find one. I’d tried to find a clasp or some weakness in the mechanism enough times myself. That thing was a part of me now, and until I could hack it off with an industrial tool, I was stuck with it.
“I know people. People who could help you disappear. This collar? It shouldn’t stand in your way. They might trace your steps at first, but we could ditch it and lose them soon enough.”
This guy was all talk. Who was he kidding? Not me, that was for sure. The Contis would trace me. They’d find me and take me back. Then my life would be a million times worse than it was. I knew this because it had already happened. Running wasn’t an option. I needed a smarter get-out clause. One that kept me and my family safe.
I shook my head.
“If you’re waiting for some kind of karma bullshit, then don’t. Karma takes too long. I’d rather beat the shit out of anyone who chases after you now and give you a head start.” He smiled an empty smile and then sighed. “I’m wasting my time, aren’t I? You’re not even wavering in the slightest.”
Maybe I had read this Cill guy all wrong. He seemed genuinely pissed that I wasn’t on his wavelength.
“You know, the human brain is one of the most complex things in the universe. Is it any wonder that two dumbass meat heads like the Contis have never learned to use it? You’re aiming for a smarter plan, aren’t you?”
I nodded.
“I like that. It won’t help me sleep tonight, but I like that you haven’t given up hope. They’re as sharp as a bowling ball those two.” He glared at the wall, as if he had x-ray vision and could see the brothers through the stone. “If and when you do escape, remember you have a friend who can help. Remember my name…”
At that moment, the door flew open and banged off the wall behind it. The brothers stood in the doorway, looking between us, as if they were trying to work out what was going on.
“Time’s up,mate. We need to leave,” Scarface spat out, then clicked his fingers at me, indicating that he wanted me to move, and fast.
I walked to the doorway without a backwards glance.
“Remember what I said,” Cillian called out, and I could feel his eyes piercing my back, but I didn’t turn around.
“Come on,dog. Time to put you through your paces before we cage you up for the night.” Scarface chuckled and threw an evil grin over my shoulder. His comment was obviously aimed at the do-gooder behind me. A parting shot, meant to rile him up.
I felt the hostility and heard the angry groan from behind. But I knew, after tonight, that man would go on with his life and never give me a second thought. He’d done his good deed and tried to give me an out. A fool’s errand on his behalf, but it would settle his conscious for trying, of that I had no doubt. In the long run, nobody cared. I was in this on my own, and I would get out of this on my own too. I trusted no one, and tonight just wasn’tmynight.
“What the hell are you doing?”Ryley was standing in the doorway of the staff room at Jackson’s club, looking at me like I’d gone completely insane. I think I had a little.
“I’m just doing a bit of reorganising,” I said, huffing and puffing as I pulled a row of staff lockers across the room and slid them into position.
I was bored, stressed out, and pissed off with myself, so I’d decided to play a little game on the staff to brighten up their day. It was called ‘where the fuck is my locker?’, and it involved hours of fun, trying the different locks with your key to see where your locker had been moved to. There were no numbers on any of the doors, so it made it easier to fool them all. Yes, I had resorted to childish pranks to fight the crippling anxiety that was suffocating me.
“You know what? I don’t think I want to know.” Ryley sat down in one of the comfier armchairs and gave me her ‘cut the bullshit’ look. “Cill, you look like crap. Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not really, blondie. I’m much happier causing shit here to keep me sane.”
“I’m guessing your night didn’t go as planned?”
I smirked at her feeble efforts to get gossip out of me. She’d need to try harder than that if she wanted to make this joker crack.
Truth be told, I hadn’t slept a wink since leaving Club X. I’d decided I’d be more use working in Jackson’s club, but I couldn’t get into the right head space to do anything constructive. Seeing a girl like Wednesday, and thinking about how she was suffering, had kind of killed my libido— and my brain cells—by the look of things. Grotesque and fucked up images kept flashing through my mind of the type of ‘paces’ the Contis were putting her through. So, by the time the sun came up, I felt sick to my stomach.
I couldn’t shake the guilt. I felt like I could’ve done more. If Jackson or Luca had been at the club, if they’d seen Wednesday, they’d have busted her out of that shithole faster than a turkey in November. Me? I reverted back to my usual sarcasm and wit, which, in all honestly, got me completely fucking nowhere. Who was I kidding? I was absolutely useless and good for nothing.
“Talk to me. I’m a good listener.” She patted the arm of the chair next to her to get my attention. “Come on. Let me return the favour. You’ve listened to me moaning enough times.”
I moved to the hot drinks cupboard and debated over whether to swap the coffee granules for the gravy we had stashed in the kitchens.
