Page 24 of Hurt to Love
“I’d bury you,” Vee said, then hit him with another killer line. “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs do still exist, right?”
“Is that the best you can do, Vee?”
“Hey, I thought that one was pretty good.”
“What about… are you a broom? Because you just swept me off my feet.” Cill laughed at himself, and I heard some muffled sounds coming from inside.
“I’ll do more than sweep you with my broom if you use that cheesy line ever again.” She must’ve had a broom in her hand and she was probably swatting it at him. I imagined the two of them jumping around like a couple of teenagers, dancing around each other, but loving the attention.
From what little I could hear, their conversation carried on in much the same way for the duration of my time outside. So much so, I didn’t want to go back in. Instead, I stayed in the garden and used the time to remind myself that, although those two people had come into my life, for all intents and purposes, I was still an island.
* * *
Later that evening,when Verity had finished her chores and left, I sat with Cill and listened as he informed me of the doctor’s advice. Apparently, he’d taken a call from Doctor Graham when I’d been outside. She’d sent various vitamins and medication over with a courier to help me. What it all was, I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. I’d gone beyond caring. She’d also asked a counsellor called Angela Cartwright to come and see me. I nodded along, taking it all in, but not really thinking about all the implications. I felt tired and drained after a day in the garden. Pulling weeds and avoiding Cillian and Verity had been hard work.
“You look worn out.” Cill shuffled a little closer to me on the couch where we sat. Then he reached across the coffee table in front of us to pick up a small cardboard box.
“I know this is probably going to seem really lame, but I bought you something.” He held the box out to me, and when I didn’t take it, he placed it on the couch between us. “When I was out shopping this morning, I saw a little gift store and this was in the window. It just… called to me. Like it was sitting there waiting for me to buy it for you.”
He sighed and ran both hands over his face, then leant forward and let his arms hang loosely between his knees. “I know the nightmares will keep coming. I’m not stupid. And if you need me, I’ll be here. But maybe this might help a little bit. I don’t know, I’m probably being really dumb and… Jesus, I’m just rambling now. I wish you could talk so you could tell me to shut up.”
He started fiddling with his nails. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was nervous. Did I make him nervous?
I picked up the box and pulled it open. Inside was a smaller wooden box, made from what looked like a red cherry wood. On the lid was carved some type of lily or a flower I had yet to discover the name of.
“It’s a music box. I thought it might help you sleep better. Open it.” Cill nodded down to the small box in my hands.
I opened the lid. Inside was a glass cover to protect the metal workings, and the gentle tinkle of music filled the room.
Edelweiss.
I couldn’t hold back the tears that welled up. I tried to swallow them down, but it was pointless. When I was a little girl, my grandma had a music box in the shape of a windmill in her bedroom, and when you opened the little front door it playedEdelweiss, just like this. Memories, happy memories of a beloved childhood flooded me, overwhelmed me with their pure, unadulterated joy. I couldn’t believe Cill had done this for me. That he’d thought about me, thought about making me feel better. Every cheesy line and hint of anger I’d harboured throughout the day fell away in an instant. I wanted to hug him. In all my life, no one had ever given me such a thoughtful and precious gift. It was priceless to me. Not only because he’d thought about me, but because his gift had given me a gateway back to those golden years; a link to my past. He’d given me memories. Now, I had my dearly departed grandma to watch over me in the absence of my family, all courtesy of the puzzling, complex man sat next to me.
I clasped the music box close to my chest like a small child with a prize. I’d never let this out of my sight. Ever.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Cill looked heartbroken.
I wanted to tell him they weren’t sad tears, but the words got stuck in my throat. Instead, I smiled and shook my head. He smiled back and let me stand and leave. I wanted to be alone to listen to the music and drift off into dreams of delicious homemade soup smells wafting around me, making my taste buds water. My grandma dancing around the kitchen in her wrinkled stockings, giving me warm kisses and hugs for no other reason than she loved me. AndEdelweissplaying in the background.
I didn’t wanther to leave, but I wasn’t about to turn into some weak-ass pussy and beg her to stay, just so I could please myself. I wanted to enjoy her smiles, revel in them, even though they were almost non-existent. But they were there, and I’d put them there. I’d made a difference to her day.
I thought having Verity around would help. She seemed like a nice enough girl. A little flirty and in your face, but I hoped she’d be a good addition to the household to help Wednesday. Another girl for her to talk to was sure to be a good thing, right? Plus, she had good banter. She wasn’t my type at all-she was way too giggly and flighty-but she laughed at my jokes. That was always a bonus.
The only trouble was, Wednesday didn’t seem to like being around her. I was a guy and even I’d picked up on it. She’d hidden in the garden right up until Vee left and sat scowling for the rest of the evening until I’d given her the music box. I didn’t like her scowling. I never wanted her to feel uneasy or that she wasn’t welcome. She was the whole reason wewerehere. I’d have to monitor Vee’s place in our lives for the next few weeks. I couldn’t afford for anything to set Wednesday back.
I had to admit that seeing her face light up when she saw the music box did something to me. I fought the overwhelming urge to hug her, drown her in my arms. She had that effect on me though. She made me want to touch her, probably because I knew I couldn’t. Forbidden fruit was always the sweetest, I supposed. Not that I thought about her like that. She wasn’t a conquest, she was a treasure.
I prayed she’d sleep through the night without more nightmares, but I knew that was a futile wish. It was gonna take more than one day. I gathered up the tablets that Doctor Stick-up-her-ass sent over, and began decanting them into the little daily pill dispensing case I’d bought for her. Another gift, but I doubted this one would have the same effect on her as the music box. Sentimental trinkets always trumped practical shit.
I picked up the house phone to check in with Jackson. I needed to know if the Contis were on to us, or if anything else had happened since we’d left. Twenty-four hours was a long time in the life of a badass hustler like me.
He picked up on the second ring.
“Dude, what’s up? Missing me yet?” I grinned, wishing I could see him face to face. I kinda missed his moody ass already and it’d only been a day.
“Like a fucking hole in the head. How is she?” he asked, and from the concern in his voice, I could tell he was frowning. Giving himself more wrinkles than he should have.
“I’m great, thanks for asking,” I joked.
