JESS
Icouldn’t believe he’d shown up here. He was the last person I’d expected to see when I opened the door. But seeing him evoked feelings in me that I’d been suppressing for days now, and I couldn’t deny it. Him being here was the best thing to happen. Ever.
I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes, and when he saw them, he got a panicked look on his face, like he thought he might’ve upset me. He hadn’t.
“Tyler,” I said, struggling to speak through the lump in my throat. I put my hand over my mouth to try and compose myself. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here. It’s so lovely to see you.”
“Is it?” he asked, unsure about himself.
It surprised me.
Tyler had never done unsure. Not that I knew, anyway.
“Of course it is.” I wanted to launch myself at him, hug him, wrap my arms and legs around him and never let go. But I settled for a grateful smile and stepped back to let him into the house. “Ava is going to be over the moon when she sees you’re here. She’s talked about you non-stop.” The smile he gave me on hearing that made my heart swell.
“How have you been?” he asked, his eyes penetrating right through me as he stepped past me into the hallway.
“Oh, fine,” I replied, suddenly conscious of the fact that I looked a hot mess. I tried to smooth the stray hairs from my messy bun as I fought an inner battle, trying not to lose my confidence.
He cocked a brow as he watched me.
“It’s me you’re talking to. No need to sugar-coat shit, Jess. How have you really been?”
I sighed, instantly feeling the comfort of his presence.
He doesn’t care what you look like, Jess. He’s here to check up on you and Ava.
I shut the door, turning all the extra locks I’d had fitted since everything had happened.
“I take every day as it comes. It’s not great, but we’ll get there.”
He nodded, biting his lip in thought.
“You look really good,” he said, then blushed. “I mean... you look well.”
“Thanks. It’s kind of you to say.”
He shrugged.
“Not kind. Just truthful.”
We stared at each other, and the intensity of the moment made me feel hot and uneasy. It was something I hadn’t felt in along time. In fact, I thought feelings like that were a thing of the past for me, especially after Ava’s dad had left and becoming a mum. But here we were.
He cleared his throat, breaking the trance we’d both been lost in. “And Ava? How’s she doing?”
I couldn’t bullshit him. What was the point?
“She’s not good.” Immediately, his face dropped. “The days are okay, as long as she’s with me, but she doesn’t sleep very well. She keeps thinking the bad men are gonna come back and take us.”
I took a moment, wondering whether I should divulge the next part, but then I thought, fuck it.
“She wouldn’t stay at nursery for the teddy bear’s picnic she’d been obsessing over. I took her, but she refused to let me go and didn’t want to play with the other kids. I stayed for a while, tried to encourage her to join in, but it became too much for her, so we left. I didn’t want to put her through any unnecessary stress.”
This was the most I’d opened up to anyone since it’d all happened, even my own family. When they’d asked, I told them she’d had a fabulous time. It was easier to lie to them, but not to Tyler. It felt easier to tell him the truth. I knew he’d understand.
“I get that,” he said, staring at the wooden floor of my hallway as he spoke, shuffling his foot, looking pensive. “You have to do what feels right. You can’t push it. It’s still early days.”
“I think she thinks if she lets me out of her sight, something bad is going to happen to me, or her.”