Page 59 of Pride
Alex’s nostrils flared as he stood still, staring at me.
“He’s a dead man, is what he is. I’ve supported him for years, but not anymore. I don’t fuck with anyone who terrorises a woman like he’s done, especially not when it’s you.” He paused, and then, as if he was talking to himself, he uttered, “He’s lost his fucking mind.”
“You know who he is,” I stated. “You could expose him. Show the world who he really is.”
“I’ll deal with this personally,” he replied, not really answering my question. And then he moved to stand in front of me. “This won’t happen again. You have my word.”
I appreciated him giving me that comfort, but I needed more.
“Who is he? Why won’t you tell me?” I urged, stepping into Alex’s space and stopping short of grabbing his jacket to plead with him.
“I can’t,” he replied, gritting his teeth as he glanced around the room, then his stare fixed on the words painted on my wall, and he let out a sigh. “I want to, but I can’t. And I know that sounds fucked-up, after everything, but it’s the truth. It’s better his identity stays buried. After today, I want to bury him, too. But trust me when I say, no good can come from exposing who he is. It’ll only make things worse. That’s a pandora’s box we don’t want to open.”
I didn’t know how to respond to his cryptic words. I wanted to keep arguing and get a name, but I also knew he wouldn’t budge. Alex Kingston was a man of his word. So, all I could do was nod and then tell him, “I guess I’ll have to trust that youknow best.” And hope that he’d keep his word and stop this whole shitshow.
“I thought I knew who he was,” he said with a hint of sadness, staring off into space in a melancholy way like he was picturing happier times. “But now, I know everything was a lie.” And his face twisted into a furious glare. “I’ll deal with this. I know what I’m doing.” He stared down at me, his eyes ablaze with fury. “Pack a bag. You’re not staying here.”
I didn’t want to stay here. I didn’t feel safe. But Gracie wasn’t answering her phone, and I couldn’t afford a hotel. Reality hit me, and I felt a little ashamed. I was a grown woman, and yet the only people I could call on to help me were my friend Gracie, and this man standing in my living room who I barely knew.
“I’ll stop at Gracie’s,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure where the hell she was. But I had to hope she’d be at her apartment.
“You’ll come back to mine and I won’t hear anything else. I’m not leaving you vulnerable again,” Alex announced, as he started checking my windows again, wandering back into the kitchen to assess whether every possible point of access was secure.
I followed him into the kitchen. “I’m not vulnerable. I can look after myself. And it’ll be better if I stay at Gracie’s. She’s my best friend. She’s like a sister to me.”
“A sister who doesn’t answer her phone or messages and has no idea where you’ve been for the last few days.”
I guess he had a point.
He walked past me, striding back into the living room before he headed for the stairs, shouting over his shoulder, “You’ll come back with me. No arguments. I will sort this.”
He raced up the stairs and I did too, calling out, “I’m going to Gracie’s. I’ll be fine there.”
He ignored me and darted for the bathroom, before heading into my bedroom.
I stood on the tiny landing at the top of my stairs as I watched him check my wardrobe, and the windows, then he got down on his hands and knees to look under my freaking bed, and I lost it. Taking a deep breath, I folded my arms and snapped, “Can we just leave? I don’t like being here.”
I hated that I felt uncomfortable in my own home. That being here made my skin crawl, knowing he’d been here too.
He pushed himself up off the floor and strode out of the bedroom, coming to stand opposite me. He breathed deeply, his eyes penetrating as he looked right at me. I stared back, feeling a strange pull towards him. Alex had an aura that dominated any room he was in. Right now, it was dominating me.
He took his time to gather his thoughts, but when he eventually spoke, his words knocked me off my feet.
“You don’t like being here because you’re afraid, but you’re stronger than you think, Emma. Don’t let this rule you. Don’t let what’s happened change the pride you feel in this lovely home and everything you’ve achieved to get where you are in life.”
He paused, then said, “That night, when I saw you for the first time, I could tell you were a strong, independent woman, and I liked that. You intrigued me. And no one intrigues me. Ever. And I’ve met a lot of people. Then you started talking, and I wanted to know more. I had to know more. I wanted to know everything.”
He took a breath before saying, “You walked away from me, and I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the way it made me feel. So, I followed you, trying to get you to sit with us, but you said no, and I let you go again, like a fucking fool. I knew it was the biggest mistake of my life, to let you walk out of that gallery, and away from me. But I swore that night, that I wouldn’t let you do that again. I’d find another way to see you, and when I did, I’d make it count. There’s something here, Emma. A spark, or whatever you want to call it. I know you feel it, too. And I know you’re guardedbecause of all this, but I just want you to give me a chance to prove I’m not the man you thought I was back at my house. Come home with me, please. Let me look after you. And I know you don’t need anyone to look after you, you’re not vulnerable, but I would feel better, knowing where you are.”
I was struck dumb by the openness and honesty of his words. He was right, I did feel that spark. But how could I explore something when my world was burning around me?
“I appreciate your kindness,” I replied softly, and his shoulders sagged a little knowing what I was going to say next. “But I need to go and see Gracie.”
I knew from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t going to push it any further. He looked disappointed, defeated even.
“Okay,” he replied. “But could I still see you? Would you let me take you to dinner and put a proper smile on your face. Not the fake one like you’re giving me now to try and make me feel better.”
I opened my mouth, but words didn’t come out.
