Page 97 of Pride
“He’s locked away, Emma. You’re safe. You’re always safe here.”
I shook my head, mistrust heavy in the air around me.
“I’m not, though, am I,” I replied, and stepped away from the desk I was using to hold me up, feeling a sudden rush to the head as I faltered and almost fell backwards.
Alex stalked over to me, taking hold of the tops of my arms to shake me as he peered into my eyes and urged, “Emma, you’re okay. Nothing is going to happen to you. Please, sit down, sweetheart. You look unwell.”
“Of course I’m fucking unwell!” I snapped. “That could be me on that bloody horse. I could be next.”
Tears soaked my cheeks as I slumped back into the chair, taking deep breaths, feeling like I was drowning. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. The walls of my life were closing in and I felt trapped. I couldn’t escape.
Alex clenched his teeth and the muscle in his jaw ticked. Then he knelt beside me, taking my hand as he tried to soothe me.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, really, I am. I should’ve deleted the files the minute Tobey sent them to me. But S.K.A.M. is locked up. He’s not free and you’re safe. And what happened to that man, the murder victim, that would never happen to you. Not ever.” And on a whisper, he added, “I’d die for you, Emma.”
“You lied to me,” I added, feeling the pain of his betrayal pierce through me like a knife to the heart.
“I kept a truth to myself so it wouldn’t hurt you,” he replied, and I scoffed.
“You’re just twisting your words to suit your narrative.”
“Maybe, but it’s the truth. I did it for the right reasons. There was no subterfuge. Nothing underhand, I promise.”
I stared blankly into my lap, my ears ringing as I breathed deeply.
Alex took my chin in his thumb and forefinger to turn my head to face him. “I don’t want to argue with you, Emma. And I hate to see you so upset.”
“Then don’t lie to me,” I pleaded with him. “Or keep truths to yourself, however you want to word it. And don’t leave stuff like that on your computer for someone to find. It’s harrowing. I’ll be seeing those photographs for a long time.” My rapid breaths and racing heart were beginning to slow down. “And promise me he’ll stay locked up. I need to know he’s not out there.”
He looked heartbroken that I’d seen what was on his computer.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, stroking his thumb over my hand that he held tightly. “I won’t let anything like this ever happen again.” And judging from the honesty that shone from his handsome face, I knew he meant it.
I nodded and he stared at me, thoughts running through his mind as he frowned to himself.
“What is it?” I asked, knowing he was toying with telling me something else. “Tell me.”
“I just want to protect you. That’s all. I want you to let me deal with all the bullshit.” He put his arms around me to pull me into a hug, and I let him, only resisting a little to show I still wasn’t over it. “I want to treat you so well you forget you were ever scared of that man. I don’t want you to have to think about him, see him, or talk about him. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead. Gone. He’s of no importance to us or our lives.”
I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his embrace.
“I guess if we’re being totally honest, I might have another confession,” he said, and a sick feeling surged inside me again. I went to pull away, but he wouldn’t let me. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. Just something I need to show you. Something which will hopefully put what happened today, and what you’ve seen, out of your mind. If that’s at all possible.”
I wasn’t sure anything could do that, but I nodded quietly in agreement.
“I’m not sure I like your confessions,” I said, regarding him with suspicion.
“Well, I hope I can change that with what I’m about to show you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
EMMA
Iwas still shaky, and images of the murder scene kept flashing in my head. I knew I’d see those for a long time to come. That, and the thought that he might still be out there, watching me, despite what Alex had said about him being locked up. But I’d agreed to get into the car with Alex and take a drive to see whatever it was he wanted to show me.
When we pulled up outside my house, I turned to Alex and asked, “Are we here because the house is ready for me to move back in?” I couldn’t deny the thought of being alone again filled me with dread. Especially after today.
“Not quite.” He gave a slight grimace. “The loft space still hasn’t been secured. Your landlord is an asshole. But he’s promised it’ll be done by next week. I told him I’d do the brickwork with my own hands if it wasn’t, and he threatened me with legal proceedings, but that’s by the by. It’s being sorted.”
