Page 44 of The Tempest
Payne grabbed the nearest boy, who happened to be a son of Fox de Merest. “Tay Munro is a beast of a man, but I’d not have him any other way,” he said. “Now, if ye wish tae strike me, go ahead, but ye’ll have tae go through my human shield first.”
He held the boy out at arm’s length in between him and the tall woman, who broke down into soft giggles. That prompted Payne to set the boy on his feet and stand up, but as he did so, he noticed that the women were now focusing on Astria, who was gazing at them somewhat nervously. Dislodging the lad from around his neck, he lifted an arm in Astria’s direction.
“I’m sure ye’re wondering who this lovely lass is,” he said. “Ye’ll not believe me when I tell ye.”
The women were looking at Astria openly now. “Who, Payne?” the one with the baby in her arms asked.
“My wife.”
That brought gasps of shock. “Wife?” the same woman said. “When did you take a wife?”
“This morning,” Payne said, standing up as the child with his arms around his neck still clung to him. “This is Astria, Lady Matheson. Astria, this is Lady Athdara Munro, wife of The Leviathan, and Lady Elisiana de Reyne, married tae one of my dearest friends, Sinclair. Just the ladies I wished tae see, in fact.”
He specifically didn’t mention his new title, or any of Astria’s titles, because he hadn’t told any of his friends yet and he didn’t want them to hear it from their wives. Elisiana was the first oneto approach Astria. “Welcome, Lady Lismore,” she said, smiling. “We had no idea Payne had taken a wife or we would have welcomed you with more fanfare.”
Astria smiled in return, though it was hesitant. “It is a pleasure, my lady,” she said. “And I am a gift from his mother.”
Elisiana’s smile faded and she looked for an explanation at Payne, who shook his head. “A tale for later,” he said. “For now, Lady Matheson requires yer assistance. I realize ye have children tae tend, but mayhap one of ye could help my wife clean my cottage and mayhap prepare a meal. I’ve duties tae attend tae this morning, a class that is already waiting for me, so I was hoping tae leave Astria in yer good care.”
Elisiana didn’t hesitate. “Of course,” she said, holding out a hand to Astria. “Come with me, Lady Matheson. I’ll put the baby down to sleep and we will go and see how much work Payne’s cottage needs.”
There was genuine warmth in her eyes. Astria could see it. But she’d just spent five months in captivity with a woman who held her life in her hands, so she was reluctant to follow Elisiana. She was reluctant to deal with any woman right now, no matter how kind. In fact, she didn’t really want to be separated from Payne because she was coming to equate him with safety. That was something she very much needed, but she hadn’t even realized it until now. She’d spent months pretending she wasn’t scared and that her situation didn’t matter, but the truth was that she was and it did. Now, she faced separation from the man who’d essentially saved her and was trying to pretend as if that didn’t matter, either.
But it was a struggle.
The women must have sensed that. As Elisiana gently took her hand, Athdara came alongside her and smiled encouragingly. “Come, my lady,” she said. “You look as if you could use some sustenance. I have fresh bread and butter andporridge for my children, but if you like porridge, you are welcome to have some as well.”
They were trying to lead her away, however kindly, but Astria balked. “Please,” she said. “I must speak with my… my husband. Please grant me a moment.”
With that, she quickly moved away, but she was motioning for Payne to follow her. He did, lowering his head so he’d be closer to her when she began to speak.
“I cannot go with them,” she whispered.
He put a gentle hand on her cheek, a gesture meant to comfort. “I promise they are good and kind ladies,” he said. “Please dunna fret. I wouldna leave ye with anyone I thought might not be trustworthy.”
The touch on her face startled her. Astria had never had anyone touch her so sweetly or gently. It only served to emphasize the cold and unfeeling home she’d grown up in and the cold and unfeeling world she lived in. No comfort, no kindness, no love. She’d told Payne that her captivity with Maude had been about survival.
So had her entire life.
And survival could be a cold mother, indeed.
“I… I simply meant that we have a duty to… to consummate the marriage,” she said, stammering over her words. “I was married once. I know how important it is. Should we not get it over with?”
Get it over with.
Payne wasn’t sure he liked the way she said that, but he understood why. She was looking at the situation pragmatically, but pragmatism with a hint of fear. He could hear it in her voice. Frankly, that had crossed his mind also, but he didn’t think this was a good moment for such a thing because he really did have an entire class waiting for him and he didn’t want to do something quick and businesslike and then leave her aloneafterward. There was that weakness again in him, the man with empathy who wanted to be kind and gentle to a woman he was increasingly coming to realize hadn’t known much of it in her life. Everything over the past eight months had been hell for her, and he didn’t want to add to it with a lusty and quick consummation.
He wanted it to mean something.
He was to be married to this woman, this beautiful woman, for the rest of his life, and he didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with her. He’d always hoped his marriage would be a pleasant one and was willing to do what he needed to do to make that happen. This may have been an unexpected union, but he accepted it. He had to.
It would do no good to make either of them miserable.
“We will,” he said after a moment. “But I dunna think this is the right time for it. My cottage is not appropriately clean for a woman and I am not so eager tae bed ye that I would do it just anywhere. I want it tae be a moment of discovery and hopefully even pleasure for both of us. Now, if ye disagree, then I’ll take ye over tae my cottage at this very moment and get it over with, as ye’ve said. If it means nothing more tae ye than that, then we’ll go ahead with it.”
She gazed at him, her expression full of confusion. “But… it is not meant for discovery or pleasure,” she said. “Is it? I’ve been married before and, I assure you, there was no discovery and certainly no pleasure. It was uncomfortable and painful and… What more is there to it?”
He could see the bewilderment, and given she’d married an old man who had more than likely not taken any time with her, no tenderness or joy, she knew nothing else. She knew a duty and nothing more.
