Page 118 of Dreams of Falling
thirty-eight
Larkin
2011
I sat next to Bennett in the middle of the front seat of his truck, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me, embracing with a vengeance being back in the South. My lipstick and nail polish matched, and my hair was pulled up into a ponytail beneath a USC Gamecocks baseball hat to protect my skin from the bright May sun.
A song came on the radio, and I leaned forward to turn it up. “Ha! ‘We Rode in Trucks’ by Luke Bryan. How appropriate.”
Bennett chuckled, and I could feel the rumble beneath my cheek. “I sometimes think you’re just dating me for my truck.”
I pulled back to look at him. “Is that what we’re doing? Dating?”
He gave me a half grin, then returned his gaze to the road leading to Carrowmore. “Well, that certainly sounds better than being your contractor with benefits.”
I slapped his chest, then tilted my head to kiss him on his jaw right below his ear, where I knew he liked it. “Just be glad I hired you to do the restoration. Otherwise it might have been awkward.”
He raised his eyebrows, placing both hands on the steering wheel to navigate the rutted road, still strewn with debris from the previous night’s storm. “Speaking of awkward, Mabry keeps on teasing mewith snippets from your manuscript in progress but won’t let me read it. When are you going to let me see?”
“When it’s done. Mabry has sworn to be honest in her critique. I’m afraid if I let you or Ceecee or Bitty read it, I’d be met with undeserved and unending praise. And that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“Fair enough,” he said, pulling around the side of the house. “Because you’re right. I can’t see myself being unbiased about anything you write. Or say or do.” He grinned. “Maybe I just need to spend more time with you.”
Before I could retaliate, my phone beeped, and I glanced at the screen. It was Josephine in New York, reminding me of our conference call at one o’clock. I’d been able to negotiate a remote working arrangement with Wax & Crandall. It was fewer hours, and less pay, but it was a sweet deal. It gave me time to work on the novel Mabry had reminded me that I’d always wanted to write, as well as to oversee the restoration of Carrowmore. Josephine kept threatening to move down to Georgetown so she could see for herself what it was that had pulled me away from New York.
Bennett climbed out of the truck, and I slid over so that he could help me out. I loved the way his arms felt around my waist as he swung me around before gently placing me back on the ground. It was the main reason why I loved riding in his truck so much.
“We’re the first ones here,” he said. “Want to take a stroll?”
He reached out his hand, and I took it, never tiring of the warm jolt of electricity every time we touched. We walked slowly down toward the tidal river, the edge at low tide showing its bald spots of pluff mud and spiky spartina grass. I took a deep breath, loving the scent, which always reminded me of home. We passed under the martin houses strung among the branches of the old trees, swaying in the river breeze and causing the sunlight to wink at us.
My daddy was maintaining them now, but only until Bitty regained her strength. She’d survived radiation and chemotherapy, which had successfully shrunk the tumors in her lungs, and now we were just waiting to see how permanent her recovery would be. She kept insisting that she was strong enough to move back to Folly Beach, butCeecee and I wouldn’t let her. I think she was secretly pleased, but her independent nature had to fight us, if only for show.
“Do you think Donna will come with your dad?” Bennett asked.
It had taken my daddy almost six months after my mother’s passing to ask my permission to start dating Donna. I’d seen her a few times at the hospital where she worked as a nurse, and I knew she was the woman with whom my father had had the affair. He’d asked for my forgiveness, and I’d told him he didn’t need it. As my granddaddy Boyd wrote in his letter, we all make mistakes. To survive them, we have to learn to live with our choices.
I think my new understanding of my mother helped me see that, to know that my parents had loved each other, but sometimes love isn’t enough when it’s not given from a heart that’s free. I know Mama is with Ellis now, so it’s only right that Daddy find his own happiness.
“Probably. I hardly see him without her anymore. They both like to garden and brew beer, so they spend a lot of time together. It’s nice to see,” I said, surprising myself by how much I meant it.
We stopped beneath the Tree of Dreams, the hole now sealed courtesy of the National Forest Service, the recipient of the land donation made in my mother’s honor. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in the tree’s power. But I believed in the power of human imagination more, of projecting our dreams and wishes into a safe space where we could place our disappointments if they didn’t come true.
“Just think—this could all have been a golf course community with condos,” Bennett said.
I gave an exaggerated shudder. “Please stop, or you’ll give me nightmares.”
“You’ll have them soon enough when you start getting the invoices for the house restoration.”
“I’m sure—although I know you’ll cut a deal. I mean, Meghan Black is practically ecstatic. It’s going to be her thesis work. I think the title’s going to be something likeFrom the Brink: Restoring a Nineteenth-Century Rice Plantation Home While Bankrupting the Owner.”
“You should suggest that,” Bennett said, laughing. “Though didn’t Meghan say she’d planned to exhaust all grant possibilities first?”
I nodded. “She has a leg up on that since Carrowmore is going to be used for field study by graduate students during the work in progress.”
“It’s a good thing Ceecee agreed to spend funds for the restoration,” Bennett added. “As executor, she could have shut this all down.”
“All true. I’m just hoping that we can come through with support from the Land and Water Conservation Fund before I deplete the money in the trust.” I bit my lip and sighed. “Meghan says Congress has fully funded the LWCF only twice in its fifty-year existence, though, so I’m not going to hold my breath on that one.”
