Page 36 of Dreams of Falling
I stared at her unblinking for several moments, trying to understand how I could have been so in the dark about so many things.Because you never asked. “I can’t believe Ellis was your uncle, and married to my mother.”
Mabry nodded as she stroked Ellis’s fine hair across his forehead. “Yeah, weird, huh? She always planned to use the name for one of her own children, but after she got married, she had a lot of miscarriages. Her first full-term baby was a boy and she named him Ellis, but he only lived less than a week. That’s why Bennett’s named after her father, instead. You can imagine how thrilled she was that Jonathan and I liked the name. Not as thrilled as I was that he was a boy, or else she might have insisted I call my daughter after her favorite aunt.”
“Whose name was...?”
“Euphemie.”
I widened my eyes in horror. “Was she serious?”
“Sadly, yes. You know how Mama gets when she makes up her mind about something. At least now you have a great name for one of your book characters.”
I looked away. “Yes, well, that’s not going to happen. That was just one of my many pipe dreams from when I was a kid.”
“Don’t say that. You’re really good. Don’t you already have several unfinished manuscripts under your bed or something? Can’t you just go back to one of them to get your juices flowing again? Seems to me that would be easier than starting from scratch. And you can always send me chapters to read—that’s the beauty of e-mail. I really miss reading your stuff.”
I wrinkled my nose, trying to get rid of the sting I felt behind my eyes. “Yeah, well, I think writing is one of those things like acting and singing that I mistakenly believed I was good at. To do the world a favor, I gave them all up.”
Ellis leaned against his mother’s leg and put his thumb back in his mouth. “I kind of agree with you about the acting and the singing, but not about the writing. You really were good.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I’m just being honest. Like I always have been. You just never listened before.”
I wanted to argue, but I knew she was right. She’d never been mean-spirited, but it had always been her way to be excruciatingly honest, regardless of whether her words were what I wanted to hear. All I’d needed to do to erase any doubts about my abilities would be to ask Ceecee, and she’d always agree with me. And Bennett and Mabry would then support whatever endeavor I’d committed myself to, regardless of how ill-advised. Which meant I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have. Like singing “Ave Maria” at a talent show to a tap dance I’d choreographed myself. I’d had a standing ovation, begun by Ceecee. It was only after I’d left Georgetown that I thought about the talent show, suddenly realizing that the rest of the audience had probably thought the entire performance was some kind of brilliant joke.
Mabry smiled, and I had the horrible thought that she was remembering the talent show, too. “I’ve been hoping you’d one day finish thebook about the couple who meet at a funeral and fall in love, and it turns out that the guy was the person who killed the guy being buried, and the woman is a hit person assigned to take him out. I’m dying to find out what happens.”
“Seriously? Isn’t that the book where I actually used the term ‘purple-headed love dart’ to describe a part of the male anatomy?”
Mabry barked out a laugh that startled Ellis, who started sucking his thumb harder.
“I was fourteen. What did I know?”
She sobered. “Yeah, well, you’re a good writer—and I’m sure age has refined your vocabulary. I hope you haven’t given it up entirely.”
“I write ad copy now, so that’s sort of the same.”
“Not really.” She jerked her head toward the house. “Would you like to come in and have some sweet tea? I just made a new batch last night, and it’s chilling in my fridge, waiting for someone to drink it. And Ellis can show you his Matchbox car collection.” Mabry ruffled the little boy’s hair as a wide grin sprouted around his thumb. “I like cars,” he said, his voice muffled.
I glanced around as if looking for an escape, and tried to think of an excuse not to go inside.
“I promise not to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. Like Jackson Porter.”
I snapped my head to look at her and frowned. “Thanks, but I’ve got to go back to the hospital...”
“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but it’s like the elephant in the room, you know? And he called up Bennett yesterday, trying to get a group of us out on his boat for the weekend. Said you’d already agreed to it. I have to say that surprised me.”
I found I couldn’t meet her eyes. “I didn’t say yes. I told him that things were up in the air with my mother being in the hospital and I’d let him know.”
“So technically, you didn’t say no, which to someone like Jackson means yes.”
Her direct gaze unnerved me, so I looked down at Ellis so I wouldn’t have to meet her eyes. Mabry indicated the house again.“Come on inside. Just for a few minutes. Long enough to have a glass of sweet tea and tell me what this dream I’ve been having means. You’re still doing that, right? Analyzing dreams, I mean.”
I hesitated a moment too long and found myself being led into the house. Mabry had always been a bit on the bossy side, which was probably why we’d been friends. It was nice not having to make all the decisions. I immediately regretted it. It smelled like her mother’s house, like a home is supposed to. There was a healthy clutter of primary-colored toys strewn over the small front room, where a television set was on and playing the British animated seriesPeppa Pig. I knew what it was only because a coworker of mine with a three-year-old was obsessed with the porcine cartoon figure, and she had shown me countless photos of her little girl with various Peppa Pig accessories. I tried to think of the child’s name, but couldn’t, leaving me to wonder if I’d never asked.
“I can’t really stay...”
“Sure you can,” Mabry said, leading us both into the kitchen at the back of the house and settling Ellis in a booster seat at the table. She set three Matchbox cars on the yellow Minions place mat in front of him.
