Page 12 of Dreams of Falling
To Bennett, I said, “I appreciate you bringing me here, but if you’re going to wait here for your sister, I’m going to wait someplace else.”
I made to stand, but he held up his arm. “Larkin, come on. It’s been a long time. Surely long enough for us to be able to sit down like adults and talk about what happened. Or why you didn’t say good-bye when you left.”
Because you already know. “Not long enough,” I said.
He remained sitting. His green eyes stared calmly back at me, as if he hadn’t had a front-row seat to the worst moment of my life. Or anticipated its inevitable arrival. “You look great, by the way.”
“You mean I’m not fat anymore.” The words were out of my mouth before I could pull them back.
Bennett didn’t flinch. “I always thought you were beautiful.”
His words took me by surprise. For a moment, I couldn’t say anything. “You and Ceecee.” I looked down at the Little Debbie cake and placed it on the side table. All my life Ceecee had been stuffing me with food, trying to feed my disappointments and insecurities and fill the void my mother’s absences left. It had taken me two years with a therapist to figure that one out.
“I’m going to the cafeteria. Tell Mabry I’m planning on headingback to New York as soon as my mother’s released. I don’t expect I’ll have time to stop by.”
Bennett’s face remained expressionless, but his green eyes were cool and assessing. When I was growing up, they’d been a barometer for my behavior, letting me know when I’d gone too far. At the very least, they’d been my warning that he, Mabry, or both were about to give me a reality check. For a while after I left, I’d found myself looking for his eyes in situations in which I needed them. But I didn’t anymore. I was a different person now, finally able to see myself as others did, and not just those who indulged me. But the memories of before still made me cringe.
“I’ll let her know. But she’s a block away from your parents, so it probably wouldn’t be too much of a strain on your schedule to stop by.”
I wanted to tell him that despite what she’d said, I knew Mabry didn’t really want to see me. If I were she, I certainly wouldn’t want to see me, either. Instead, I said, “Well, that’s how little you know about me and my schedule.”
Again, his eyes gave nothing away. I found myself squirming under the scrutiny.
“Did she tell you who she married?” he asked.
If I’d had any food in my stomach, it would have tried to come back up. “She didn’t mention it.”
“A nice guy named Jonathan Hopewell. She met and married him while they were both in nursing school. Thought you might want to know.”
I knew what he was trying to tell me, what he thought I wanted to know. But I pretended I didn’t. I nodded stiffly. “Sure. Thanks.”
“Are you seeing anyone up in New York?”
“No. I’m pretty busy with work.”
“I can only imagine.” He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands between them, always a sure signal that he wasn’t done telling me all that he wanted to. “Do you still randomly identify music, artist, and lyrics, or a song that’s playing wherever you happen to be?”
I would have laughed if my mother hadn’t been lying in a hospital bed in a coma. If I remembered how. “No,” I lied. “I don’t.” Istraightened, remembering the question that had been niggling in my brain. “Why were you with Daddy yesterday?”
Approaching footsteps sounded from the hallway. We looked up to see Ceecee and Bitty, the former carrying a cafeteria tray laden with plastic-encased pieces of cake, a doughnut, a brownie, two fried chicken legs, and a single apple. I was pretty sure the apple was Bitty’s contribution.
Bennett stood and greeted the two older ladies before turning back to me. “Mabry’s shift is almost up—I should find her. I’ll check in with you later, see how your mama’s doing. I’m sure my mother will be delivering a casserole tonight if she hasn’t already.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I’ll probably hang out at Mabry’s and stay for supper. I can tell you all about it when you drop by to say hello.” He gave me a victory grin, then said good-bye and left the room before I had a chance to hit him.
Ceecee began placing the food on the small coffee table in front of my chair, opening up lids and placing plastic forks inside each container. “You must be starving. You need to eat something to keep up your strength.”
I picked up the apple and slid the doughnut toward her. “I could say the same for you. I haven’t seen either one of you eat since we found Mama.”
They looked down at the sugary offerings without enthusiasm. “I don’t think I could eat a bite,” Bitty said. “But taking care of you takes some of the worry off our sweet Ivy.”
Ceecee gave her an odd look, but anything else she might have said was interrupted by the arrival of a nurse carrying a large brown paper sack.
“Are you Ivy Lanier’s family?” she asked.
I stood. “I’m her daughter. Is everything all right?”
