Page 34 of Dreams of Falling
I rolled my eyes. “I do allow myself ice cream when I want it. I just haven’t had too much of an appetite since I got back.”
“No change yet with your mama?” His eyes were warm and sympathetic, probably the reason I’d gravitated to his shop during my growing-up years. And, I freely admitted, the ice cream. It was the one place I could go when Ceecee and Mama were arguing about me where I could get comfort food and understanding.
I shook my head. “There’s been no change. My daddy and Ceecee remain hopeful, so I’m trying, too.”
“There’s nothing more you can do than remain hopeful. Me and the missus, we’ll keep praying for her. She’s been added to our prayer list at church, too.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile, remembering sitting in church with Ceecee and my grandfather and listening as the interminable prayer requests were read out to the congregation. It wasn’t that we had so much sickness and misfortune in our community; it was more that people thought the good Lord needed to know about their sick dog or sprained foot. The memory made me smile now, but it made me nostalgic, too.
“So, Gabriel, now that I’m older, maybe you’ll tell me why you never hired me. I wanted to work here so badly, and every time I saw your Help Wanted sign in the window, I was always the first to apply.”
“Yes, you were. Always dressed neatly, respectful of adults, and you were smart. Yes, missy, you were a real smarty-pants. You would have made a great employee.”
“Then why? I’d practically run home crying every time you told me no. It hurt my feelings. Especially when you hired Joe Craigman.He couldn’t count change to save his life, and he always got the orders wrong.”
“True.”
“So why would you hire him and not me? I could calculate change in my head before he could do it on the cash register.”
Erin came out with our frozen yogurts, and Gabriel waited until she’d gone back inside.
“Because he didn’t have a mother who begged me not to hire him. Your mama didn’t think it was a good idea to have you working in an ice-cream shop.”
My mouth went dry as if all the air in my lungs had suddenly rushed out of it. “What?”
He shook his head. “That Ivy. Ceecee was always the one coming down and yelling at me for not hiring you, telling me how you were in tears over it.”
“I didn’t think Mama ever even knew I was interested in working here. And why would she care?”
Gabriel took a small bite of his yogurt, taking his time as if he wanted me to figure things out on my own. I shook my head. “I really don’t understand.”
“She knew one of the benefits of working here is that I offer all the ice cream you can eat to my employees, that’s why.”
I took a bite of my own yogurt, just to bring moisture back to my mouth, and because I had no idea of what I should say.
“They both wanted you to be happy. They just had different ideas on how to make that happen.” He gave me a contemplative look. “Your mama was always in a difficult place where you were concerned. She didn’t think she could be a good mother to you, but she couldn’t abandon you to Ceecee’s care completely. It just wasn’t her way. But trying to smooth the way between you and Ceecee was probably harder than dressing a flea. Ceecee can be as forceful as a hurricane when she’s got it in her mind to make people happy, and your mama was always trying to pretend that she wasn’t toting a broken heart. But they have always loved you something fierce. They just had different ways of showing it. And not always in a way that made sense.”
I stared down into my cup, drowning the granola bits in the melting yogurt. “You can say that again.” I met his eyes. “So, you knew about Mama’s first husband?”
He nodded slowly. “I knew the Altons real well. Good people. My own mama was a nurse, and when Mrs. Alton got sick and was put in a wheelchair, Mama cared for her in their house. Mr. Alton was president of the bank back then, and he gave me the loan to start my own business when I got back from ’Nam. And Ellis, well, that was a shame. He was a fine young man. A fine, fine young man. We all lost something when he got killed, but your mama especially. It takes a very strong person to survive such a thing.”
“She’s not strong,” I said softly. “I used to think so. I used to admire the way she lived her own life, even if it meant leaving me behind. I thought she was so brave, not caring what other people thought. I even wanted to be like her. Until...”
Gabriel’s voice was gentle. “Until what?”
I shook my head. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m good at complicated.” When I didn’t say anything else, Gabriel sat back in his chair. “You remember the murals on the back wall of the shop that changed with every season? Your mama would come in after the shop was closed at night and paint them for me. It was to thank me for not hiring you.” He placed a wrinkled hand over mine. “People have different ways of expressing love. It doesn’t mean the love is worth any less.”
Without a word, I stood and walked back into the shop and looked—really looked—at the mural on the back wall. In all the years I’d been coming to Gabriel’s, the changing murals had been awarded only a passing glance from me, a background not worthy of my notice. Like so many things.
I felt Gabriel standing behind me. “Did Mama paint this one?”
“Sure did. Just recently, in fact. It had been a few years since she’d done a mural for me on account of that arthritis in her one shoulder.”
I faced him. “She has arthritis?”
“Has for years. It’s hard for her to raise her arm, but she said it didn’t bother her too much when she was doing her furniture refinishing.”
