Page 73 of The Last Night in London
“I’ve signed up, too. The Royal Air Force. I already know how to fly, and they’ll need pilots. War is coming, Eva, and I must do my duty.”
Surprise mingled with relief stole her breath. “Your duty? But you already work for the government—isn’t that duty enough?”
“No, it’s not. Please understand.”
An eerie calm settled over her. She did understand. She did. She just couldn’t stop the horrible sense of finality. He was speaking again, but she was having trouble comprehending the words, as if they were coming from too far away.
She blinked up at him, slowly grasping the intensity of his voice. “What?”
“Marry me, Eva. We don’t need to tell anyone, not yet. But I can’t wait anymore. Please, marry me.”
She was stunned; she could only stare at him and blink.And if he asks you to marry him, say yes.... You’d be even more useful if you were his wife. I’d be ever so grateful.
“You do love me, don’t you?” His eyes held an uncertainty that was too painful to see.
“Yes, of course, but...”
“Then say yes.”
I’d be ever so grateful.She wanted to scream with the unfairness of it. To have everything she’d ever dreamed of standing right in front of her yet so out of reach. But she couldn’t let Alex win. Even if it meant breaking her own heart. She looked into Graham’s eyes, needing him to see the love and the truth in them. “I promised you that I would wait for you. Isn’t that enough?”
He pulled back, his eyes narrowing as if he were trying to decipher foreign words. “Enough? Hardly. I want to go and fight knowing you’re mine.”
“I already am,” Eva said, the tears thick in her throat.
“It’s not enough. Not for me. Please, Eva. Say you’ll marry me now.”
“No.” She shook her head. “Think how awful it would be if your father found out, Graham. Could you forgive yourself—or me?” She leaned forward and kissed him, taking her time, letting him know what would be waiting for him. “Let’s wait until your father is better, and this war is won. It will give us both something to look forward to.”
His hands dropped to his sides. “Is it Alex?”
“What? Of course not. How could you even think that?”
“Because I don’t understand you right now. You’re not making any sense. What else am I to believe?”
“That I love you. And I will wait for you. And we can dream together, of our lives after the war, of our beautiful house by the sea. I want to be able to hear the waves from the bedroom, so you and I can wake up together, listening to the ocean. Won’t that be lovely? You can build it so it’s just what we want. People will be amazed. They’ll think you’re the next John Nash.”
He took a step toward her and held her head in his hands, his eyes glittering in the lamplight. “I want more than just dreams, Eva. Tell me you love me, and that will give me something to come back for.”
“I love you, Graham. More than I can say. And I promise to keep your ivory dolphin close to my heart every day. It will be a good-luck charm for both of us.”
“I don’t believe in luck. But I do believe in you.” He kissed her,soft and sweet, sealing their promise and almost making her believe that it would all work out in the end.
—
Later that night, after Eva and Precious had shared their ritual cup of hot cocoa before bed, they talked about the evening and Sophia and David, about the music and how Precious found Alex to be the most handsome man she’d ever met. Eva pretended not to feel ill at the mention of Alex’s name or at the memory of his hateful words.
“Sweet dreams,” Precious said at last, as she always did. She left Eva’s room, softly closing the door.
Eva stared up at the sky outside her window, by turns feeling happy and troubled. She’d thwarted Alex this one time, even though it had broken her heart to tell Graham no. And she wasn’t naive enough to believe she’d won. But Graham was hers, she told herself, and they would be married eventually. That was the one thing she would focus upon. Everything else would work out. Somehow, it always did.
When she finally fell asleep, the ivory dolphin clasped in her fist, Eva dreamed of a house high on a cliff overlooking the water that she and Graham would share, of waves crashing against the shore before pulling back to the sea, and of the endless and futile attempt to remain whole before collapsing on the sand once more.
CHAPTER 22
LONDON
MAY 2019
