Page 62 of The Lost Hours
My father’s lawyer, Mr. Morton, has told me that the house is paid for and that my father had investments besides stocks, so I will have a little income to live on comfortably if I’m frugal. I’ve never been a spendthrift, never desiring to dress in the latest fashion,so this shouldn’t be a problem. My only thoughts now are for my father’s patients, and who will treat them now.
Mr. Morton’s son, Paul, is a courier in his father’s law office and has become a good friend to me despite the fact that he is five years younger than I am. He thinks that I should go to medical school. He, too, is a friend of Freddie’s and has become quite committed to our cause. I’m not completely sure, however, if his commitment is more for the cause or for what Freddie refers to as Paul’s “unrequited” love for me. I tell Freddie he’s being foolish. I think I will be a confirmed spinster and bluestocking if I cannot marry for love.
There’s been no more talk of Freddie returning to England to complete his education and I now know why. And without my father’s income from his medical practice,I cannot pay Justine as much, but she insists that she does not want to leave my employ despite the fact that this means she can no longer afford Josie’s voice lessons. I feel strongly that Josie needs to continue. Unfortunately, this means I will have to sell my beloved horse, Lola Grace, whom I have been stabling at Asphodel. I won’t be able to get a high price for her, but I cannot afford to feed and stable her, and I have little time to ride anymore. I will miss that the most I think.
I told Paul—to whom I’ve confessed everything—that I will apply to medical school as soon as Josie is settled in her new career and Lily is married.They are like frayed ends of a rope, and I’m the knot that will tie us all together.
That’s why I chose the sailor’s knot as my charm for Lola. Ties stronger than friendship bind us together now, and I doubt they can ever be broken.
The sound of tires crunching on gravel brought my head up, and I spotted Tucker’s Jeep outside. Peering out the window, I saw Tucker in the driver’s seat with Helen riding shotgun. I jumped out of my chair and opened the door just as Tucker was reaching up to knock. We stood still, facing each other, neither one of us stepping back.
His hair was wet, as if he’d just stepped out of the shower, but his eyes were bloodshot and there was the faint scent of alcohol on him. “Rough night,Tucker?”
He rubbed his hand over a clean-shaven jaw. “I’ve had rougher.” He dropped his hand and we remained staring at each other.
“Have you come to ask me to leave?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest so he couldn’t see them shake as I waited for his answer.
He looked as if he wasn’t really sure of the answer. “No, I’m not.”
“Why?” I wanted to take back the words. I’d never known how to stop when I was ahead. It had always created a nice point spread between me and the number-two spot, but it just didn’t seem to translate as well in social interactions.
“Because you saved Sara’s life.”
I hadn’t expected that answer and I struggled not to drop my gaze.
He closed his eyes for a moment and I saw his exhaustion and the lines of grief around his mouth, which seemed to have lessened since I’d first come to Asphodel. “Because I feel as if we’re all stuck in the same place—me, Sara, and Lucy—but that—how did you put it?—the world seems to be snapping outside our walls.” His smile was sad. “Malily doesn’t believe in regret. Maybe if I find out what happened to Susan, I’ll discover that maybe I don’t really have anything to regret.”
I wanted to touch his face, but I kept my hands tightly wrapped around my arms. “So you’re not still angry with me?”
“No, I’m still pretty furious. But I have to get over that because Lucy and Sara would never forgive me if I was the reason you went away.” Shoving his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, he indicated the Jeep. “I’d like to see the hidden room. And the rest of it. I might be able to help.”
“I’m assuming Helen’s on board with this?”
“Yeah. She suggested it, actually. Helped me see that this could be what I need right now. What we all need.” His eyes met mine. “If that’s all right with you.”
I nodded, and managed a small smile. “That’s fine. I could use the help.”
“Great.” He motioned toward the Jeep again. “Come on, Helen hates to be kept waiting.”
“So, does this mean we have a truce?”
He held the door open for me, his brow furrowed. “For now. Just don’t lie to me again, okay?”
I nodded. “Hang on a second—I have to get something for Helen.” I ran back to the table and picked up the pages I’d just read.
As we began walking toward the car, he said softly, “I was home by midnight, by the way. You can ask Emily, who let Lucy wait up for me. I was there to tuck Lucy into bed.”
I just nodded, but felt an inexplicable warmth flood my face. I ducked my head as I climbed into the backseat of the Jeep and greeted Helen. After waiting for Tucker to climb in behind the wheel, I handed Helen the pages. “Are you and Lillian all caught up?”
“Yes. She was tired last night, but she insisted that we read all of your grandmother’s pages. I shared them with Tucker, too. She did ask if there were any more; she doesn’t remember reading past what we already have, so this will be a nice surprise for her.”
“There’s some interesting stuff in the pages I just gave you, and I think I have a good place to start my research.”
“Like what?” Tucker shifted the Jeep into first gear and we sped down the gravel road toward Asphodel’s front gates.
“Well, I’ve been wondering how Freddy paid for his education in England and how Josie paid for her singing lessons. They’re the children of a housekeeper, and no matter how important the housekeeper was to the O’Hares, I can’t imagine they could afford to pay her that much money.”
“So who did?” Helen tilted her face up toward the open roof of the Jeep.
