Page 54 of A Snowy Seaside Christmas
‘Yes, but I don’t think Nate thought it would be. It was totally out of the blue. It just happened. A moment of craziness. One minute we were chatting, the next we were kissing.’ She gave a shrug, disliking herself for attempting to appear dismissive. Nate was worth more than that. She felt her face burn.
But it wasn’t really like that at all. In her explanation she was missing out how wonderful it had felt to have Nate’s lips against hers, the feel of his strong arms around her, and how that very first kiss had triggered an explosion of emotion that had sentshockwaves rippling right through her. How it had all felt so tender and loving and special. And how she’d never experienced anything like it before.
‘I had a moment of craziness once,’ Maggie said matter-of-factly. ‘Ended up married to it.’
They both spluttered a laugh at that. Maggie and Bear were known for their rock-solid marriage. They’d been through thick and thin together, their marriage growing stronger by the year.
‘So, what’s happened that’s got you in floods of tears?’ asked Maggie.
Lark covered her face with her hands. ‘I was horrible to him, Mags. I feel so mean and cruel. His face when I told him it was a mistake.’ She shook her head as if shaking the memory from her mind. The hurt in his eyes was too much to bear. ‘I handled it so badly and ended up hurting him.’
‘I should imagine his ego’s bruised a bit, but more than that, Lark, flower, I think it’s his heart that’ll be hurting the most. The lad’s in love with you. Proper head over heels in love. Surely you can see that? The rest of us can.’
Lark scooped up her mug, cradling it in her hands.
‘Don’t tell me you genuinely didn’t know?’
Lark shook her head. ‘I was aware he had feelings for me, as I have for him, but I had no idea they ran so deep. We’ve been spending a bit more time together recently, what with the Crayke’s Cottage clearance and the heritage centre, and I suppose we’ve been growing closer.’
‘So how’re things between you now? Do you think your friendship can recover from it? I know that was one of your fears about getting romantically involved with Nate.’
Lark cast her mind back to last night. Nate had leant in tentatively, his eyes searching hers as if seeking her approval before kissing her. Everything about what had followed hadbeen perfect, until Lark had decided it wasn’t. The hurt on his face would stay with her for a long time.
‘I don’t know what to do to make things right between us again. I want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. There’s only so many ways you can describe something as a mistake.’
‘Harsh,’ said Maggie. ‘And not at all like you. Whoever’s got my friend Lark, can you please bring her back and take this one away?’
‘I know! I don’t feel like me. I feel like the biggest cowpat in the world.’
‘That’s probably cos right at this minute, you are. Or, rather, right when you told Nate he was a mistake, that’s when you were.’
‘You do know you’re not helping, don’t you?’
Maggie inhaled deeply. ‘I want to help, but I kind of get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me, that you’re holding something back. I mean, I know you’ve explained the strange energy you’ve been sensing around Nate, but I don’t think that’s it. I reckon that would’ve had the opposite effect.’
Lark felt her stomach turn over. Maggie was on to her. ‘I do love him, Mags. More than I could ever put into words. But I’m scared. Really scared.’
‘Scared of what?’
‘I’m scared of losing him.’
‘I very much doubt you’re going to lose him, flower. He adores you.’
‘It’s not that.’ Lark felt her emotions building. ‘I’ve been having these weird feelings, you know how I get them about some people?’
‘Yes. So what’s the problem? You get feelings about loads of people.’
A plump tear spilled onto Lark’s lashes and rolled down her cheek. ‘The last time I had a feeling like this, it was… It was with Greer.’
Maggie’s mouth fell open. ‘Oh, Lark, c’mere.’ Before she knew what was happening, she was enveloped in a warm hug, Maggie uttering soothing words and smoothing her hand over Lark’s hair as her friend sobbed into her neck. ‘It’s okay, flower, I promise. Everything’s going to be okay.’
Lark sat back, her face tearstained. ‘That’s what I keep telling myself; I really want to believe it,’ she said, a sob jarring her words. ‘I couldn’t bear the thought of it being another situation like Greer. It’s almost as if I’d blame myself, as if I’d jinxed him.’ Lark knew her logic sounded ridiculous, but it was a fear that had really begun to take hold over the last few days.
She was aware of Maggie looking back at her, absorbing her words, trying to formulate a reply.
‘This isn’t like you at all, lovey. Is there anything he can do to stop you from worrying? Like make an appointment with his doctor? Not that I think he needs to, but I admit, he is looking a bit under the weather at the moment. It’s probably cos he’s been working too hard. I mean, we’ve all had a time when we’ve felt rundown.’
‘I honestly don’t know what it is, Mags.’ Lark wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. ‘I’ve tried to think rationally about it, told myself it’s because he’s absorbed energy from the stuff he buys and sells, and the stuff at Crayke’s Cottage. And just when I’ve convinced myself of this, something happens to make me doubt it, and the warning feeling returns.’
