Page 39 of Fractured Constellations
Movement by the door catches my eye, Chase waiting just outside, obviously not wanting to intimidate her by coming in as well. We all wait while she brushes her teeth, and I watch the way she catalogues her appearance in the mirror, the skin on her face tightening as her frown grows.
“Don’t do that,” I say, her eyes darting to mine in the mirror.
“Do what?” she replies after spitting and placing the toothbrush back in its holder. She turns to face me, and I hate the defeat I can see in her eyes, making the blue dull and lifeless.
I take a step towards her, so close that the front of our bodies brush and she has to crane her head to look up at me, but I need her to understand what I’m about to say.
“Don’t look at yourself like you’re less than you are, Moonbeam.” Her jaw feathers as she swallows, her gaze darting down, but I grab her chin and make her look into my eyes. “You are everything I could have ever wanted, everything I dreamed about, and then even more because I didn’t know someone like you existed, let alone would want me back.”
“Thorn…” Her voice is a breathy whisper, and this feeling inside my chest leaves me no option but to close the distance between our lips. She sinks into the kiss, and I try to tell her with my lips and tongue just how fucking lucky I feel at having found her. At being here with her, helping her, having her in my arms. Her arms come up and she clings to me, her cold hands wrapping around my biceps and clutching me tightly like I’m all that’s keeping her here.
“You’re everything, pretty stepsis. Fucking everything,” I whisper against her lips, pressing our foreheads together as we breathe each other in. “Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’ll try, but I fucking hate this. Hate what it does to me, what it makes me feel, inside and out,” she confesses, and I pull away so that I can look into her eyes. They swim with tears, makingthe blue sparkle, but I fucking loathe it because she feels so small.
“Next time you look at yourself, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What would Thorn say?’” I instruct her. “And the answer will be he gets hard just thinking about me, and every time he looks at me, he has to hold himself back from ravishing the fuck out of me because he finds me so irresistible.” She giggles, and it lights me up inside.
“Ravishing the fuck out of me, huh?”
“Every. Fucking. Time,” I tell her, flexing my hips to press my semi against her stomach to prove my point. “See, completely inappropriate to have a semi when you’re in hospital, throwing up your guts, but here we are.”
“Here we are,” she whispers, giving me a smile that feels like it’s just reserved for me.
“Now let’s get you back to bed, though I’ll have to calm down because it’s Blade’s turn with you, and rest is more important than sex right now.”
Placing a soft kiss on her pouting lips—how can she doubt she’s perfect for us when she was clearly made for us?—I step away, guiding her into my brother’s waiting arms. He pulls her close, not saying a word while helping her back to bed with all the protective vibes Blade has aimed at her.
I settle in the armchair that Blade was occupying, Chase getting back into the single after kissing Luna’s temple once she’s back in bed and snuggled into Blade. Closing my eyes, I let the facade slip a little, my fear rearing its ugly head now that she’s not in my arms.
The sound of her retching from moments before brings me back to the time when Mom was ill, and I’d woken up from a bad dream…
Rubbing my eyes, I walk down the hall to my parents’ room, the sound of Mom throwing up so commonplace it hardly fazesme anymore, that’s what I tell myself anyway. Entering their room, the light is on in the en-suite, and I can just make out Mom’s feet as she’s kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet.
Dad isn’t here; some important business he had to stay in New York overnight for. Even though Mom is ill, really ill, he still wouldn’t stay, and I saw how her lower lip trembled when he told her he’d only be gone a day and night, and that she had us and her nurse if she needed anything.
But the nurse isn’t here overnight, so I walk through their dark room, stopping behind Mom and dropping to my knees, reaching out and rubbing her back.
“Thorn,” she gasps between retching, and I cringe as her voice sounds painful.
“It’s okay, Mom. I’m here, you don’t need to talk,” I tell her, using my other hand to gather up what’s left of her hair and hold it out of the way. It’s like straw, so brittle, and I can see her scalp. She often wears a headscarf, as I think she’s embarrassed that she’s losing her hair.
I wait with her while she continues to throw up, then help her up and grab her a glass of water, waiting with her while she rinses out her mouth. Her hand shakes as she sets the glass down on the side, her thin body hunched over like she doesn’t even have the energy to hold herself up.
“Let’s get you back to bed,” I softly say, and she allows me to put my arm underneath her and walk her back to bed.
“You shouldn’t have to take care of me, baby,” she whispers, her voice thick with tears, and my own eyes prick.
“Well, you took care of me since I was a baby, it’s about time I returned the favor,” I tell her, helping her into bed and then climbing in next to her. “Though I’m not sure how I feel about wiping your ass.”
“Thorn Banks!” she scolds, but her lips are tugged up into a smile even though her eyes are already closed. “I’m so lucky to have you, and Chase and Blade. You are all so precious to me.”
“We’re the lucky ones, Mom,” I reply as her body sinks into the mattress and she falls asleep.
I snuggle next to her, allowing my tears to fall as I hold her to me, praying to anyone who’ll listen that I get to keep her.
Iwake with a start as the door to the room opens and Nurse Patty strolls in. Blinking in the sunlight that fills the room, I look around and see the others are already awake and dressed, Chase pulling out containers from a bag and setting them on the table. The smell of breakfast foods and coffee fills the room, my stomach grumbling.
“We didn’t want to wake you,” Luna says from the bed, resting her back against Blade, his arms wrapped around her but still managing to avoid her IV.
