Page 70 of Fractured Constellations
“Right, so we will start with Carmustine tomorrow, a two-hour infusion. You may experience a metallic taste in your mouth, nausea, and flushing.” I give her a nod when she pauses. “Then tomorrow and for the next three days, we’ll have you on Etoposide, again, daily two-hour infusions. This will probably increase your fatigue, and you’ll likely have blood pressure fluctuations, so be careful getting up too quickly. The following day, we start you on Ara-C, or Cytarabine infusions, twice daily. This may increase your side effects, and it’s likely you’ll develop a fever.”
“We’ll help keep you cool, Moonbeam,” Thorn interjects, and I’d laugh because not once have they ever cooled me down, but I’m trying not to talk about our sex life in front of the good nurse.
“Excellent, you’ll be nurses in no time.” Susan smiles, and I swear Thorn preens behind me as Chase and Blade look on with small smiles. Chase is at the table, laptop open, reading along as Susan speaks, so no doubt he has all this on his screen. “That takes us to two days before the transplant, where you have your final infusion of Melphalan, which is considered to be the harshest. You may experience extreme nausea, stomach cramping, and your mouth sores are likely to get worse.” I take a deep inhale, letting it out as Thorn presses his lips to the top of my head, which is still covered by my silk scarf. “The good news is the day after is a rest day, though you’re likely to be at your weakest.”
“We’ll be here to look after her,” Blade states, coming to sit at the end of the bed, his hand finding my foot underneath the blankets and giving it a squeeze. I give him a grateful smile, then turn to look back at Susan.
“What about their stuff? What will the guys be going through?” I question, and she turns her attention to Thorn and then Blade.
“Well, on day minus five before the transplant, which is considered day zero, so in two days time, we will start with daily subcutaneous injections in either the abdomen or arm. This is likely to cause bone pain, like your skeleton is bruised, headaches, muscle aches similar to severe flu, low-grade fever and chills, and possibly insomnia from the discomfort.”
I take in a sharp breath, hearing the trauma that they are about to go through because of me making a lump form in my throat.
“Don’t think about it,” Thorn murmurs in my ear, somehow knowing that I’m freaking out. “It’s nothing, and we’ll all be here together.”
“Will you give them pain medication?” I ask, and Susan nods, but before she can speak, Blade interrupts.
“I don’t want it. If you’re suffering, then so am I,” he states casually, and my head snaps towards him.
“What? That’s fucking ridiculous!” I can’t believe he’d refuse the pain relief, say no to anything that might ease his suffering.
His jaw tightens. “Regardless, I don’t need it.”
“Me neither,” Thorn adds behind me, his arms tightening around me when I try to pull away.
“But you’ll be in pain, a lot of fucking pain,” I argue, my gaze landing on Chase. His face is set in a hard line, and I just know the bastard is going to agree with his brothers.
“We’ll manage, just like you have to,” he tells me, his eyes locked on mine.
Before I can argue more, Susan interjects, “Well, it’ll be available if you need it, and so will pain relief be available for Luna. You’ll all be able to decide whether or not to take it at the time.”
“Fine,” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest, the effect of my ire no doubt ruined by the fact that Thorn won’t let me the fuck go.
“Okay, well that brings us to the day before the transplant. While Luna rests, you three will have what we call an Apheresis collection. It lasts for six to eight hours, and you can either sit up or lie down but you have to remain still. They’ll be large-bore needles in both arms, one to draw the blood and the other to return it. The blood then circulates through a machine which separates the stem cells. You’ll probably experience temperature fluctuations, and due to the calcium depletion, a tingling or numbness in your fingers and lips.”
“But I can visit them?” I ask, and she gives me a soft smile.
“Of course, though you’ll probably be very tired, Luna, and sleep for most of the day.”
“All the same, I want to be able to see them if we’re apart for that long,” I insist, and Thorn kisses my temple again while Blade rubs his palm along my calf over the blanket.
“Absolutely,” Susan agrees, looking back down at her clipboard. “After that, is the day we do the transplant, which I’m told is pretty anticlimactic. It’s effectively a blood bag, and the infusion only takes about thirty to sixty minutes. You’ll be monitored throughout for any adverse reactions.”
My chest feels a little tight at having it all laid out like this. It’s a lot to take in, and I know that I don’t need to think about it all now, but this is intense.
“We’ll be here, baby. The whole time apart from the day before, and even then, you can come play nurse,” Thorn gentlysays, and some of the tension in my muscles drains at his teasing tone.
“I know it’s a lot, Luna, and it doesn’t end with the transplant, but you have a really good support network, plus the best care here,” Susan assures me, her face full of understanding. “Shall we leave it at that? Or would you like more information about what happens afterwards?”
I take a deep inhale, letting it out through my lips in a somewhat shaky exhale. “Hit me with the rest of it.”
“Okay, days one to fourteen is what we call the nadir period. You’ll be at your lowest due to the complete immune suppression. It’s likely you’ll be unable to speak or eat solid food, so we may have to use a feeding tube or deliver nutrients via a TPN, through your vein. This is where you’ll also likely want the pain meds, and you’ll have an antibiotic as this is the highest infection risk period.”
I swallow hard, the sores already in my mouth uncomfortable. A feeding tube though, that sounds shit.
“You’ll get through it, Goldilocks,” Blade assures me. Chase gets up, leaving his laptop on the desk to come and sit on the other end of the bed.
“We’ll be with you and make sure you’re comfortable,” he tells me, and I give him a small nod.
