Page 74 of Fractured Constellations
CHASE
The next few days pass in what I can only describe as the worst kind of torture. Not because the G-CSF treatment we have to go through is excruciating, but because we watch as Luna gets weaker with each treatment she has to undergo. By day minus four—four days until the transplant—we have to help her to the bathroom because she can no longer walk on her own. By day minus three, she has a fever, and we take turns through the night to apply cold compresses, which she cries out at because her skin is now so sensitive.
Day minus two is the worst by far. She can no longer eat, her mouth pain is too severe. We crush ice for her to suck on, trying to get her to sip the protein shakes as well, though Susan hooks her up to a nutrient drip so she doesn’t become too depleted.
We’re all struggling, Luna asleep and Thorn curled up in pain on the spare bed. There’s a pounding behind my eyes and my muscles ache, plus all three of us are running a low-grade feverand keep shivering. It’s nothing compared to Luna, but Thorn seems to be experiencing the worst as a low moan falls from his lips.
“T–Thorn?” Luna’s raspy voice calls quietly, and I watch as she struggles to sit up. I rush to her side, ignoring the flare of agony in my own body to help her. “T–Thorn?”
I watch as Thorn blinks his eyes open, the green dull with pain, and a quiet gasp leaves Luna.
“Yeah, baby?” Thorn asks, his voice husky and rough.
“I–I’m s–so s–sorry,” Luna stutters out, her voice thick with the tears that fill her eyes.
“No, baby,” Thorn says, gritting his teeth as he gets up and makes his way over to her bed. He stumbles, but Blade is there to catch him and help him the last few steps. “I’d go through so much worse for you, Moonbeam. I love you.”
“I–I wish you d–didn’t, because t–then you wouldn’t h–have to go t–through this,” she mumbles, the tears falling down her pale cheeks, and as Thorn shuffles to lie next to her, I gently take her chin in my hand and turn her gaze to me.
“This is nothing, Star. We’d all endure hell to keep you with us,” I tell her. She opens her mouth, but I continue, needing to chase away the guilt from her eyes. “We didn’t ask to love you. Wechoseto, freely and wholeheartedly, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are our home, Star. Our guiding light. Our world revolves around you now and for the rest of our lives.”
I watch as she absorbs my words, more tears falling from her beautiful eyes to trace a path down her sunken cheeks, but I brush them away.
“I–It hurts to watch y–you in p–pain,” she tells me, and my heart gives a jolt, because there’s no mention of the hell she’s experiencing, just worry for us.
“I know, baby,” I say, leaning over so our foreheads are touching. My eyes close and I take a breath in, her vanilla andjasmine scent almost hidden underneath the chemical smell of her treatments. “It kills us to see you hurting like you are.”
Placing a kiss on her dry lips, I encourage her to lie back, Thorn snuggling into her side and Blade covering him so that he’s under the blankets with Luna. Both close their eyes, arms and hands holding each other as they rest, and I look up, catching the eyes of my eldest brother.
“We’ll beat this,” he quietly vows, sitting in the chair we placed on the other side of the bed.
We will, we have to. There is no other choice when it comes to Luna.
The next day is Luna’s rest day, but it’s the day they need to collect our blood for the transplant. They tried to get us to go into a separate room, but I managed to convince them to bring the collection machines in Luna’s room so that we don’t have to be apart from her for six to eight hours. I don’t think any of us would have been able to cope with that.
Blade and I stay on our chairs by Luna’s bedside, Thorn in one of the spare beds as they hook us up. Luna is asleep, something that she’s been doing more of as each day passes, which I’m glad for because at least she’s resting.
We’re reminded by a stern Susan that we can’t move our arms, and so I put the call button in easy reach in case we need to get Luna help. It’s not the most pleasant feeling, having the big needles go into both my arms, and I can see my brothers grimace when it’s their turn.
Luna stirs when the nurses leave, blinking her eyes open just as I become hot, and then cold.
“Hey,” she whispers, her voice beyond painful sounding.
“Hey, Star,” I reply, wanting to reach out and touch her, but knowing that I can’t.
“How i–is it?” she asks, her eyes darting to the tubes coming out of my arms.
“It’s okay, nothing I can’t handle, baby,” I tell her, and her muscles relax as her eyes drift closed.
“Good,” she murmurs, sleep already taking over her body.
The rest of the day passes uneventfully, mostly with Luna and Thorn sleeping, Blade clearly calculating the collection volumes and monitoring the machines in that way he has. I use my laptop, being careful to only move my hands and not my arms. I check our plans for after the transplant, and make sure everything is in place for when we return to The Cottage, our home for the foreseeable future.
The door opens and I glance up, expecting to see the nurse, but Lorelei walks in, her steps hesitant, her eyes darting around the room, landing on Luna, then finding mine.
“Hi, Chase,” she says, hovering by the open doorway, as if she’s afraid to walk in.
“Hello, Lorelei,” I return, my voice devoid of all emotion. I can’t help but be angry at her. She’s Luna’s mother for Christ’s sake, and she’s not been present at all during her treatments.
