Page 93 of Silver Fox's Christmas Scandal
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LUCIAN
Sleep had become a stranger. I'd been surviving on four hours a night for weeks, staring at my bedroom ceiling while my mind replayed every moment of that hotel room confrontation.
The look on Tessa's face when she'd told me it was over.
I should have stopped her, should have found the words to tell her that everything she thought she knew about my feelings was wrong.
But I'd sat there like a fool while she cut the last thread binding us together, and I haven't been the same since.
My reflection in the elevator doors showed the toll. My face was gaunt, my suits hanging looser as I'd lost a bit of weight. Food had lost all appeal, another casualty of the gaping hole Tessa's absence had torn in my heart.
I'd agreed to a no-strings arrangement, yes, but I'd never imagined she would be the one to walk away. The irony was suffocating.
By the time I realized I was in love with her, it was too late. She'd already decided I wasn't worth the risk.
The elevator opened on Daniel's floor, and I forced myself to focus on business.
End-of-year financials, budget projections, the mundane details that used to consume my attention so much that I missed my children's childhoods, but they now felt hollow and meaningless.
We had thirty minutes scheduled to review quarterly reports and discuss the annual holiday party—an event that would inevitably remind me of where everything began with Tessa.
Daniel sat at his desk when I walked in with his laptop open, ready for our meeting.
He gestured for me to sit across from his desk, but the stubborn grumpy attitude he'd had toward me seemed warmer now, less caustic.
"You look terrible," he said as he narrowed his eyes at me.
"Thank you for that assessment." I settled into the chair, trying to project the authority that felt increasingly foreign. "I'm not here to have a chat. Can we focus on the quarterly numbers?"
"Of course." He opened a file on his computer and began droning on. I should've been paying attention, but all I could do was stare at the scrolling numbers feeling hollow. "Revenue is up eight percent over last year, operating expenses are within projected parameters. The Henderson acquisition is performing better than expected."
Nodding, I sat back and sighed. I'd long since given up on obsessing over Tessa and where she might be.
The few times this past month that I'd run into her, she had been dismissive.
But forcing my mind to stay in the present with me didn't stop the ravenous echo of my internal grief. It made it hard to concentrate for more than a few minutes.
I sat through that meeting for twenty minutes, silent and blank. He didn't seem to notice at all.
"The holiday party planning has begun," Daniel continued. "Miss Wynn will be coordinating the event again, and after last year's mishap, we have backup contingencies in place."
Anger flared in my chest—irrational, misplaced rage that needed somewhere to land.
"Of course she will," I grumbled. The mere mention of the party set me off. I had no intention of going and being reminded of everything
I wanted but would never have. It was hard enough working in the same office with her and not seeing her. "Since you've made her your personal assistant, she might as well handle your social events too. She's good at it." I knew my tone was inappropriate and that jab was below the belt, but those words slipped out before I could stop them.
Daniel's eyebrows rose. "I thought the reassignment would be beneficial for both of you."
I laughed at him, but I was scowling. "You thought the reassignment would save your ass when my ex-wife put a knife in my heart."
"Lucian—"
"Don't." I stood abruptly, pacing toward the windows. "You orchestrated this entire thing because of Viktoria. Moved Tessa away from me before I had a chance to—" I stopped myself before the words could escape.
Before I had a chance to what?
