Page 66 of Silver Fox's Christmas Scandal
My marriage had collapsed because of my obsession with work. My children barely tolerated my presence. Every relationship I'd attempted to prioritize had ended in failure and resentment.
A knock on my door interrupted my brooding and I was glad for it. "Come in," I grumbled, and then I sat a little straighter and tried to look happy. Until the door opened.
Tessa entered with her usual composure, but I could see the stress she held in her posture.
I had no way of reading her mind, but I knew she had to be processing what I told her I wanted. I knew it had to feel like whiplash to her.
We snuck around for months having illicit sex and then I shut her down, barely spoke to her for a month, which was sheer torture. And then I sprang that on her.
And to make matters worse, we hadn't really spoken since then. She wanted time to process, and I felt like an imbecile.
She had every right to think I was an idiot.
"Your ten o'clock meeting with the pension fund representatives has been moved to ten thirty," she said, consulting her tablet. "They're running behind on their quarterly review."
"Fine. Anything else?" I was tense and short with her, but I was also a ball of emotions I couldn’t express, especially not at work.
"The compliance team needs your signature on the updated disclosure forms, and Mr. Mercer wants to schedule time to discuss the revenue projections for the fourth quarter." Her voice was perfectly neutral, giving away nothing about her internal state.
"Schedule it for Thursday afternoon. And get me coffee—the good stuff from the executive kitchen, not the swill from the main break room."
She nodded and left, having never cracked so much as a smirk, and I watched her walk away, wondering if I'd permanently damaged whatever trust we'd built by letting my possessiveness override my judgment.
When she was gone, I shuttered my windows for privacy and ran my hands through my hair, resisting the urge to tug some out.
I was out of control with insane jealousy.
I knew myself well, and I knew the drive to get what I want never died easily, but this was taking on a whole new level for me.
I was crossing lines internally that I'd never dreamed of crossing, feeling like if she didn't give me an answer soon, I'd have no choice but to show up at her apartment again tonight and demand one. But what would she think of me then?
Blake and Elena had paid the price for my ambition, growing up with a father who missed soccer games for client meetings and chose conference calls over family dinners.
I'd told myself I was building something for them, securing their future through financial success.
But they'd needed a father more than they'd needed trust funds, and by the time I'd realized that truth, the damage was irreversible.
With Tessa, I could start over, be the father I should have been the first time, the partner I'd failed to be with Viktoria.
The thought of holding my newborn child, of watching Tessa become a mother, of building something real together—it made me want to abandon every cautious instinct I possessed.
Twenty minutes later, she returned with my coffee, setting it on my desk and avoiding eye contact.
But when she turned to leave, I caught something in her expression—a flicker of uncertainty that suggested she was fighting her own internal battle.
I watched her walk to the open door and stand there looking out. If she walked out, I'd assume she was returning to her desk to continue her job. But she didn't walk out.
She closed the door and turned to face me. Her eyes were wide and her forehead was scrunched up. Her hands kneaded together in front of her and she sighed hard.
"I've been thinking about your offer," she said, stepping closer to me.
My stomach lurched, but I kept my voice steady. "And?"
"I'm confused about what's going on. A month ago, you said we needed distance to protect both our reputations. Now, you're suggesting we create a permanent connection that would tie us together for decades." The agony was killing me. I just wanted to know her answer, whether to celebrate or to lick my wounds."Why would you want that kind of commitment when we agreed this had no strings attached?"
Her question was fair and impossible to answer honestly without admitting I had feelings for her. It caused a moment of sheer panic, from which I'd never a day in my life suffered.
Of course, I'd have to tell her eventually that I was madly in love with her, but right now, things were dicey with Viktoria and my children.
