Page 65 of Silent Count
“If we don’t think it’s weird, that’s all that matters.” I sit up and swing my legs to the side of the bed. “So, what’s your schedule tomorrow? You have class most of the day, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll be in class all day, and then I need to go to the library to study. I feel like I’m a little behind with my law school applications, so I need to try to get in some hours at the library over the next few months.”
“I’m not distracting you from that, am I? You just say the word, and I’ll give you the time you need. This is important to you.” I run my hand through my hair in worry, but also a little frustration. Frustration because my dad’s words are running through my head.
“Bo, I’m a big girl who can make my own decisions, but I appreciate you acknowledging that it’s important to me. And I think you know me well enough by now to know that this is a priority to me and I won’t let anything get in the way of it. But I’m also starting to feel like you’re”—she pauses, as if she’s trying to think of the right words—“important to me too.”
These confessions feel significant to me and really just solidify my growing feelings for her because the truth is … she’smorethan important to me.
“You know how I feel about you, Chelsea. I’m all in.”
The silence lingers between us for a minute, but it’s not awkward. It’s a comfortable silence.
“I’d better let you go. As much as I don’t want to, I’m sure Casey wants to get to bed soon. It’s been a long day, and I know he’s feeling a little battered after today.”
“I bet. He took a few hits that made Noelle throw popcorn at the TV. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her so mad. She was ready to hop into that TV and defend her man.” She laughs, but it’s cut off by a yawn.
I nod even though she can’t see me. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at some point? And if not, will you just let me know you got home safely?”
“Yeah, for sure. I’ll text you when I know what the plans are since you’ll be in class. Then we can meet up after you’re donestudying.” I stand and move to my duffel bag. I unzip it and pull out my toothbrush and face wash. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed before he comes back in.”
“You mean wash your face and moisturize?” She tries to hold in a giggle, but she can’t and ends up snort-laughing.
“Skin care is important to men too. I can’t be letting all this sun exposure age me prematurely.” I mean, that is part of it, but also I just like to feel clean before I go to bed at night.
“Hey, I totally get it. It’s cute, really, that you have a routine with it. You won’t have as many wrinkles as you get older. So, you go take care of that. I’m going to bed myself since I have a busy day tomorrow.” I hear her moving around, and it sounds like she just plugged something in.
“All right. Sleep well. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I walk in to the bathroom and set my things on the counter.
“You too. Bye,” she says softly and disconnects.
I set my phone down, brace myself on my hands, and look in the mirror. I have a few little scrapes from the game, and I definitely look tired. With a huff, I pick my phone back up and shoot off a text to Casey, letting him know I’m off my call, then look at the Weather app to track the storms. As much as I wish there were better news, it looks like we might be waiting here a while tomorrow. Fuck.
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
CHELSEA
School has always beeneasy for me. Even with all the chaos of my home life, or maybe because I craved some kind of structure, I’ve always excelled in my education. I was tested in elementary school and was considered to be gifted—whatever that means—and took all honors classes throughout the rest of my middle school and high school years. I’m in the honors program here as well. But for some reason, I’ve been struggling a little with studying lately. It’s not that I don’t know the material; it’s more the focusing part of it that’s starting to stress me out.
I know I’ve been a bit preoccupied with a certain quarterback. But Aunt Laura has brought up this letter almost every time we’ve spoken lately. I just don’t want to read it. I haven’t read a single letter from my father since he’s been in prison, so I don’t understand what the urgency is now.
For me, there are more important things to be focused on, like law school applications, what my next steps are, and now … Bo. I never expected to fall for a guy like Bo, and—let’s be honest—the timing couldn’t be worse. Where do we go from here? With him going to the NFL and me not knowing where I’m going tolaw school yet, it kinda feels like we have a timer set for when our relationship will end. And I really don’t like this feeling.
I haven’t seen him since Friday, before he left for his away game, and I … miss him. And not just in a casualoh, I miss you so muchkind of way that you tell your friends or family in conversation. Like I miss him in aI breathe easier when he’s aroundkind of way. It’s foreign to me, this feeling. Bo isn’t the type of guy who will be easy to walk away from—ever. And I don’t want to. Usually, by this point in a relationship, I’m ready to move on, but with Bo, what I feel is the complete opposite. But for the first time in my life, the idea of being in a committed relationship doesn’t make me feel anxious. Although I’m anxious to see him now.
He hasn’t texted since this morning, which I’m hoping means he’s on his way back since the weather has cleared here. I know he wasn’t happy about being stuck in Tennessee, especially after a loss.
Trying to study in the library and not look at my phone every few minutes isn’t very productive, but I blocked out this time for the library, so I need to get my shit together instead of staring blankly at my laptop.
Maybe if I just start typing, I can get refocused.
Although I do need a book for my research before I get too deep into it. So, I stand and unzip my hoodie and hang it over my chair, then slip my phone, just in case Bo calls or texts, and my wallet in my back pocket and make my way to the row where the book I need should be.
The Law section is in the back, where I can find a book on torts and US private law. I find my book, which is on the right side, but not the right spot, and reach up to grab it, but it’s a little too high for me.
