Page 78 of Silent Count
“Chelsea, love isn’t like that though, and what you and I are building isn’t like that. I’m giving you everything that I have. You have my heart completely, and I want to build a life with you. I just need to know you’re in this in the same way that I am because, baby, it’s not always going to be easy. There are people that will find out about your past, and you will be in the public eye by being with me. Can you do this with me?”
I love him. I really, truly do, but even that scares me. The thought of opening up to him is one thing; the thought of everyone else knowing—my past, my sister’s life, my aunt’s secrets—is almost too much to bear. My chest feels tight, my stomach twists, and I can’t stop imagining the world prying into parts of my life I’ve worked so hard to protect. I want him to see me, to love me, but the weight of it all feels crushing. I’m not sure I can handle letting him in … or letting anyone else see what’s been hidden for so long.
“Bo, what is it you want from me?” I take in a shuddering breath because this beautiful man in front of me deserves everything that he is asking of me. And it should be an easy answer, but I just … can’t.
“I want everything you have to give. Because I will give you every part of me. I need you to trust me and trust us.”
“Bo, I want you to tell me the truth. Did your dad ask you to stop seeing me?”
He drops his head back and closes his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. This is about us.”
“Tell me.”
Bo looks up at me with sadness in his eyes, like it hurts him to tell me. “Yes, but I told him it wasn’t gonna happen.”
I believe what he’s saying—I really do. But I also can’t be the cause for creating problems for him and his family. So, this is just another reason why I need to go. If I stay in this, it will hurt us eventually. I can’t stop the tears that start to run down my face.
He rushes to me and wipes the wetness from my cheeks. “Baby, don’t cry. It will be okay. As long as we’re together and give each other everything we have, it will always be okay.”
I turn my face and kiss his wet palm. “But I can’t giveyoueverything. I’m sorry.”
I pull away from him, grab my bag from the bed, and rush out the door. Noelle sees me and drops the potato in her hand and tries to follow me, but I stop her.
As I close the door behind me, I hear her yell, “What the fuck did you do, Bo Callaway?”
But I keep walking, get into my car, and cry all the way to my apartment.
CHAPTER
TWENTY
CHELSEA
The last fewweeks have been pretty fucking terrible. Bo texts me every day, but I don’t respond. He’s come by the apartment and waited for me, but when I see his car, I keep driving. If I’m home, I don’t answer the door.
Noelle has been staying at the apartment with me more than usual because I think she’s worried about me. Casey stays here a lot, too, but he never says anything to me about Bo.
I gave Noelle a watered-down version of what had happened and shared some more about my past that she hadn’t known. She’s been really great, and Charlie has come over a few times to hang out with us too.
I called my aunt last week and told her I wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas. She and my sister were disappointed and tried convincing me to change my mind. They’ve been sending me texts of various vacation spots to try to get me to spend Christmas with them anywhere. I just … have no interest in doing anything.
I’ve gotten emails from two of the law schools I applied to, but I don’t even care about opening those. I’m sad, and I can’t figure a way out of it.
Noelle thinks I should just talk to Bo, but I don’t know what I would even say.
The Stallions have made it to the playoffs, so I’ve been torturing myself by watching every interview and highlight that has Bo in it, which is a lot. He’s always professional and courteous, but I can tell he’s not completely himself. And I feel like I’m responsible for it.
I’m watching an interview right now, and he’s talking about the upcoming game, and just hearing his voice makes me want to cry. And I’m not a crier. I literally hate everything about life right now. I’m so focused on what he’s saying that I don’t even hear the knock on my door at first.
“Chelsea! Stop flicking your bean and open up!” a female voice says, giggling.
“Jesus, Torie. Do you have to be so crass? I swear, you and your sister are too much for me,” another voice says.
What the hell? Is that my sister? And my aunt?
I jump up from the couch and look through the peephole in the door. I can hear them now on the other side of the door, but I can’t see them because someone is covering the hole with their finger.
“I don’t open the door to strangers,” I tease.
