Page 207 of Snowbound Surrender
“No one knows the truth, none save the two of us and my father,” she continued, her voice a little more forceful. “I have lived a…a normal life ever since. There is no reason why that could not continue.”
Maxim laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “Secrets always come out, eventually.”
She joined his laughter, and it sounded awful coming from her sweet lips. “You would know all about that, would you not, Maxim? If that is your real name, which I am not minded tobelieve at this moment. After all, it was only today that your secret was published in the newspaper!”
It took him a few seconds to realise what she was referring to. “Oh, you mean this tittle tattle about the medals?”
“To think the whole of society is laughing at you,” Annika said with a physical shudder.
Fury rose in Maxim’s heart. To be judged by such a woman, with such a mistake haunting her past! It was not to be borne.
But as he looked up at Annika about to spit angry words, his heart softened. Even knowing what he did now, he could not despite her. She was Annika. Something about her clung on in his heart, his very soul cried out for her. He needed her, despite it all.
“You are mistaken if you think those medals are my secret,” he said aloud. “Those blasted medals are nothing to do with it.”
Annika’s face crinkled into a curious frown. “Then…then I think it is time that you told me about this secret of yours. There is no purpose in holding anything else back, after all!”
It was impossible for Maxim to think; not with all this hurt and anger rushing through his mind. What harm could it do? They were not going to marry now, that much was clear, and no one would believe her anyway.
“My secret is the best one – the truth!” He blurted out. The words seemed to arrange themselves without conscious thought, pouring from him after being dammed up for so long. “You think I do not hear everyone laughing at me, calling me pretender?”
Annika nodded, unable to speak.
Maxim laughed drily. “Yes, and I act like the perfect pretender, do I not? Eager to please, eager to see the Prince, speaking with as many earls and dukes as I can? Well, that is the only way to keep myself safe. I need Prinny todeny me my Czardom.”
Annika was staring as though he had lost his wits. “But…but that does not make any sense.”
“And that is why the plan was so brilliant,” Maxim said bitterly. “If there was any justice I would be confirmed as the Czar, but I would not last long. My brother was murdered, assassinated for even suggesting that our family line was the one that should have been on the throne. My sister, taken from us. I have no idea what happened to her, though I pray she is safe.”
Now the words were pouring from his lips, it seemed impossible to stop. When was the last time he had spoken of Katarina? Months. Almost a year. And now he had merely alluded to her, he could feel the tears pinching in the corners of his eyes.
Brushing away the burning liquid, he continued, “The more ridiculous I look, the more kings and queens of Europe refuse to confirm my birth right, the more likely it is that I shall be left alone. And yet I am the future Czar, or at least I should be. There. My precious secret.”
Annika took a hesitant step towards him. “So…so your secret is that you never lied about who you were.”
“I am Alexei Dmitry Immanuil Maximilian Konstantinvich, Czar of Russia,” Maxim said heavily. “But to be publicly confirmed as such…it would be a death sentence. I have to keep myself safe, far better than I was able to keep Igor and Katarina safe.”
Why did it feel so strange, sharing this truth with her? He had carried the secret for so long that it had become a weight around his neck, and now that he had shared it, he had thought he would feel lighter.
But the tension and bitterness between them had not disappeared.
“What about the medals?”
Maxim sighed. “Damnit, Annika, you think I wanted to pawn them? But I was in desperate need of funds, and I had nothing else of value on me.” His hands twisted in his lap. “I should have known it was a mistake from the moment I walked into that place, but…but I was hungry. I needed coin, and for that I pawned my family’s honour along with our medals. I came into some more funds. I bought the medals back.”
When he finally had the courage to look up, it was to see a softening on Annika’s face.
“You…you should have just told me in the first place,” she stammered. “All these jewels you have given me…why – ”
Maxim laughed bitterly. “What, and you would have believed me? When we first met, you wanted to be entertained. You did not want to hear the sad story of a royal house come to ruin. In my family, a gentleman does what he must to survive, and takes the sacrifices upon himself. Pawning my medals hurt me. Pawning family jewels would have hurt my future bride.”
“Still,” she said, a little more firmly. “You should have told me, after we…”
Her eyes flitted to the bed.
Irritation rose in Maxim’s heart. “And you should have told me about Meredith! Do you not think that a husband deserves to know if his wife has any children?”
“You would not have understood!” A little of Annika’s fire had returned to her voice. “No one would have, and I saw how you looked at Miss Emma Tilbury – and she had no child!”
