Page 102 of Faking All the Way
The compliment feels wrong somehow. He used to always be more inclined to nitpick my appearance or the way I dressed than to actually compliment it. Suggesting I might want to wear something more flattering, commenting that certain colors washed me out. The sudden praise feels off, like he wants something.
He moves in a little more, so close that I can smell his cologne. His voice turns even more familiar, intimate in a way that makes my skin prickle. “I’ve been thinking about you, Kat. A lot, actually. There’s something about you now that I just can’t get out of my head. I think I made a mistake letting you go.”
I gape at him, literally stunned into silence for a second. He’s here at his own engagement party, with Maya not even fifty feet away, laughing with guests and showing off her ring, and he’s telling me this.
“You’re engaged,” I remind him flatly, my voice hard.
He scrubs a hand through his hair, glancing toward Maya with what might be guilt—or maybe he’s just checking to make sure she’s not looking this way. But he doesn’t back away from me, doesn’t put distance between us like a decent person would. His voice drops even lower, almost conspiratorial.
“Maya is fine. She’s a good person. But she’s notyou. I see this new side of you now, this passionate, confident side that I never saw when we were together. And I want that. I want you.” He pauses, then adds quietly, “Maya doesn’t have to know.”
For a split second, I remember how in the aftermath of our breakup, during those awful months when I was picking myself back up, I used to imagine this exact moment. Daniel begging for another chance, realizing he’d made a mistake. I hoped for that once.
But standing here now, actually living through it, I feel only disgust.
Only a cold, clear understanding of exactly who he is and what he’s doing. And pity for Maya, who has no idea what kind of man she’s about to marry.
“No,” I say simply.
He looks surprised, like he truly expected me to jump at this opportunity. He starts to speak, probably to try to convince me, but I don’t let him get the words out.
“I spent so much of our relationship thinking there was something wrong with me,” I tell him, my voice coming out calmer than I feel. “Thinking I wasn’t pretty enough, wasn’t interesting enough, wasn’t good enough for you. But now I realize that it was alwaysyou, Daniel. You’re the one with theproblem.” I take a breath, straightening my spine. “I’m not sure if you even know what love is, but it’s not this. Not wanting the shiny thing that you can’t have. Not caring more about what your relationship looks like on the outside than whether it’s actually good on the inside.”
I glance toward Maya, who’s laughing at something a guest said, completely unaware of what’s happening over here, then back to Daniel.
“You don’t even really want me. You just couldn’t stand to see me happy with someone else. Couldn’t stand that I moved on and found something better.”
He tries to speak again, his face flushing with anger or embarrassment. But I’m done listening to him. Done giving him any more of my time or energy.
“Don’tevertalk to me again,” I say, biting out the words. “Don’t look at me. Don’t think about me. And do Maya a favor and tell her the truth about who you really are. She deserves better than this. Better than you.”
Then I turn and walk away, leaving him standing by the window staring after me. My hands are shaking slightly from the adrenaline, but I feel lighter than I have in months. Maybe years.
I go to find Asher, who’s just gotten our drinks from the bar.
“I’m ready to go now,” I say as soon as I reach him.
He looks relieved but also surprised, glancing around the room. “Are you sure? We just got here like twenty minutes ago.”
I glance over my shoulder at Daniel, who’s slinking back into the crowd looking rattled and angry. “Yes. I’m done here.”
Something passes over Asher’s face. Pride, maybe, like he can see some shift in me even though he doesn’t know exactly what happened. “Good. Let’s get out of here then.”
He sets down both wine glasses on a nearby table, then takes my hand, his palm warm and solid against mine. We leavetogether, and I don’t even look back to see if Daniel is watching us go.
I honestly don’t care.
On the drive home, I gaze out the passenger window at the dark streets of Maplewood passing by. Christmas lights twinkle on houses, making everything look festive and peaceful. But there’s one thought that keeps circling through my head, refusing to let go.
Daniel’s comment that he sees this new side of me. The passionate, confident side he never saw before. The thing I told him about being happy now, about moving on to something better.
I realize how true it is. How much I’ve changed since I came back to Maplewood. And when I glance over at Asher, his profile illuminated by the dashboard lights and the occasional streetlamp, I know exactly why.
It’s him. Being with him, even in this fake arrangement, has changed me. Made me see myself differently. Made me believe I’m worth more than I thought I was.
We get home and head inside the cabin. Asher takes my coat off for me, his hands gentle on my shoulders as he slides it down my arms before he hangs it up on the hook by the door.
As I turn to face him, he studies my expression, his eyes narrowing a little. “You okay? You’ve been pretty quiet since we left.”
