Page 92 of Faking All the Way
“Are you going to see your father today?” she asks after a moment.
“Yeah.” I start working the lather through the rest of her hair, making sure I get all of it. “There’s not really much around the house that needs doing anymore. I’ve fixed most of the stuff that was broken or needed attention. But I’m thinking of trying to get him out today. Just to the park or something.”
“Why?”
“He keeps to himself a lot, seems like, even before the injury. But he’s been even more isolated with the cast. I don’t think he gets out much.”
“That’s nice of you.” She opens her eyes, looking up at me. Water catches on her lashes. “To think about that.”
I shrug, tilting her head back under the spray to rinse out the shampoo. The water runs clear after a few moments, carrying the suds down the drain. “I don’t know. It just seems like he’s pretty lonely out here.”
Her brows draw together, water droplets clinging to her soft skin. She’s quiet for a second, as if she’s choosing her words carefully.
“I know your dad really hurt you,” she finally says. “I get that. But maybe there’s a chance that all that messed up past doesn’t have to define the future. You know?”
I swallow, dropping my hands by my sides.
“I saw that clipping he had,” she continues. “In the mirror frame. About you signing with your first pro team. He’s clearly kept up on your life and career, at least a little. And he seems so happy to have you here. Is it possible he regrets what he did? Walking away all those years ago?”
The question sits in the space between us. I’ve been trying not to think about it too much, trying not to examine my dad’s motivations too closely. It’s easier to keep him at arm’s length, to maintain that wall I built years ago.
“A month ago, I wouldn’t have thought I’d ever repair anything with him,” I admit. “Wouldn’t have even wanted to try. But when you talk about it like that… I don’t know. It seems more possible.”
She kisses me, soft and sweet. Water runs between our lips, but neither of us pulls away as my hands caress her hips.
When we separate, she smiles up at me, echoing the words I said to her about Daniel’s engagement party. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll have your back.”
The words shift something inside my chest, making me think briefly about her having my back foreverythingI do. For longer than just the next couple of weeks.
My chest goes tight. That familiar panic rises up, the one that always hits when I start thinking about forever with anyone. When I start imagining a future that extends beyond the carefully defined boundaries I’ve set up. I swallow, my thoughts tangling up, confused and conflicted.
Kat seems to realize she said something that sounded too real, crossing some invisible line. She laughs a bit awkwardly,the ease from a moment ago gone. “As long as I’m your fake girlfriend anyway.”
I chuckle, trying to brush it off, but it doesn’t quite clear the knot in my throat. I kiss her again, not liking that flash of doubt I saw in her eyes. Not liking to think about her being hurt because of me, because I can’t give her what she deserves.
But I still don’t think I can. Still don’t know if I’m built for that.
We finish showering in silence, the mood having shifted slightly.
As we’re getting dressed, I ask what she’s doing today. As busy as I’ve been with my own contract negotiations, she’s been just as busy, hammering out details of her book project, talking with the publisher’s team about timelines and expectations. I’m so fucking proud of her, of how she’s handling this opportunity.
She tells me about some sketches she wants to work on today, color tests she needs to do to figure out the right palette for autumn scenes. Technical stuff that I don’t fully understand but love hearing her explain.
I kiss her goodbye once we’re both dressed, then head out across the snowy space to the guest house to grab my keys.
Less than half an hour later, I pull up at Edward’s place. When I knock, he opens the door with his usual cautious greeting. He’s getting better at moving around with the boot, more confident on the crutches. Murphy appears immediately, winding around my legs and purring plaintively.
“Hey, big guy.” I crouch down to give him the attention he’s demanding. He butts his head against my hand, rubbing his face on my knuckles.
“He’s been sitting by the door for an hour,” Edward says, watching with amusement. “I think he was hoping for a visit from you today.”
I scratch behind Murphy’s ears, earning an even louder purr. “So damn needy,” I mutter, but there’s affection in my voice.
“So…” Edward steps back to let me in. “What’s on the agenda today?”
He starts to lead me inside, but I clear my throat, stopping him before he gets too far. “Actually, I was thinking we could go to the park. If you’re up for it. You know, get you out of the house for a bit.”
He looks surprised, like he didn’t expect me to suggest just hanging out with no specific task attached. No repair to make, no problem to solve. Just spending time together.
