Page 56 of Never Stop
His lips form a straight line, attempting a smile before he offers, "The owner that Liam sold it to put it up for sale again three years ago. It was at the exact time that I was looking to purchase something. Seeing it on the market felt like a sign that I needed it to be mine. . . I feel closer to you here. When I couldn't have you, at least I had this place. At least I had the memories. There's no other place I'd rather call home."
His eyes break away from mine, looking at the field before us with a soft smile. I can tell he's in his head, thinking about how we once were. He's lost in the times when life seemed so much simpler. Right now, at this moment, I'm lost in the man before me. The broody, rough-around-the-edges man who bought my childhood home to feel close to me when I pushed him away.
I gasp. Pulling my hand away, I clamp it over my mouth and shake my head as tears well up in my eyes. I peer over, catching a look out the window at the home that felt like heaven when I was growing up. It felt like heaven because of the boy who stole my heart in this very field that sits across from us now.
"This is yourhome?" I ask with a shaky voice.
He nods in return, and a singular tear falls from the grasp that my eyes previously held on it. Maverick said "Bear" lived a few towns over but never specified where.
I unbuckle my seat belt, climb over the console, and wrap myself around Ander, straddling his lap. My arms wrap behind his head, and I cling to him, needing to feel as close to him as possible. Our foreheads meet and rest against one another. His hands wrap around my waist, and in his arms, I feel a sense of home that I've missed for six years.
I can no longer stop the tears from falling. These bastards have a mind of their own, and I give up. He wastes no time, kissing each one of them away.
"Ander. . ." my voice is small; it comes out raspy—barely a whisper.
"Yeah, babe?"
"Am I crazy? Like absolutely fucking insane right now, or is it possible that two people could live their lives completely separated for this many years but never fall out of love?" I ask, shaking my head as the tears keep rolling. One of his arms wraps tighter around my waist, and the other moves up to cusp my cheek, his thumb rubbing circles on the apples of my cheek, wiping more tears away as they do.
Before he can speak, I blurt out again, still speaking softly.
"How is it that I haven't been able to feel anything romantic for anyone else in over six years. . . Yet I see you by chance, and my stupid heart decides to do cartwheels in my chest like a fucking acrobat, and all of those feelings I've suppressed for all of these years come flooding back like no time has passed." I sigh, trying to sort through my thoughts.
Ander pulls me in even closer to him, and our chests collide. He goes to speak, but my stupid big mouth won't shut the fuck up now that it started rambling.
"We're strangers, Ander. Strangers. We don't know each other anymore. I feel like I am losing my goddamn mind right now. Maybe I should call my shrink and tell her it's finally happened. Commit me!" I say the last part a little louder. "I've finally gone off the deep end. . . I must sound like a real winner right now." I chuckle now, showing my true crazy-ass colors, as I pull back out of his grasp slightly and wipe my cheeks, shaking my head.
I huff out a sigh. I'm frustrated at my rant, my feelings, and the mess I've made of my life by doing what I thought was right and losing the best thing that's ever happened to me in the process. I'm frustrated that I've wasted six years of my life suffering through those decisions out of fear.
What a damn idiot.
Ander looks me over in silence. His hands are on my waist, and he squeezes gently. His eyes are looking for mine, but I can't look at him now. I wonder if those gears in his head are burning smoke, trying to process everything I spewed at him. I giggled at the thought, solidifying that I am indeed insane.
Our eyes finally meet. I see nothing but tenderness and understanding. My heart swells. His hands rub up and down my thighs, back and forth, taking their time. Our gaze is locked, and I'm feeling the reality weigh down on everything I confessed.
I've spent less than 48 hours with the man I haven't seen in years and admitted to him that I still love him—so smooth, Via. You're a true gem.
He interrupts my very in-depth session of internal self-loathing by asking, "Can I talk now?" His voice is firm and gravel, but there's a hint of a smile pulling at one corner of his mouth. I don't respond. I've said enough. I shrug and offer a slight nod.
"Rosie, would you look at me, damn it." There's a small chuckle laced in his words, and he shakes his head with a smirk. I look up into his eyes as he pulls me back into him. We lockgazes, and I could get lost here. Those caramel-brown eyes are soft and on mine as if they can see down to the depths of my soul. It's intimidating and comforting all at once.
"If you're crazy, they will need to put us away together. I wonder if there's a joint straight jacket we could request? One where my hand is permanently positioned on your ass. If so, I'd be okay with that."
He's literally joking right now, and his smile grows as he starts laughing.
I sit confused for a second with my eyebrows furrowed, looking him over as I try to process what he's said and what it actually means.
"What the hell does that even mean?" my voice shows every bit of confusion I'm feeling.
He lets out another soft chuckle under his breath, runs a hand up and down my back, and pushes us together again.
"Woman, it means I have always been in love with you. I will always love you. We promised each other on the last night we spent together that we wouldnever stoploving one another, and I never have, I never will, and I never can. You were created to be mine to love. Only mine."
I gasp, letting a deep breath fill my lungs. My mouth curves into a closed-lip smile, but the smile on my heart, which he can't see, is setting fire to my body.
"I tried moving on from you, V. It isn't possible. When someone like you imprints themselves on your life and your heart, no one else could compare. Whether you see it or not, you're fucking special." He leans in closer, holding eye contact to make me believe his words as much as he does.
"You're amazing in every way, and we aren't strangers. Sure, time has passed, but you're clear as day still the woman who taught my heart how to beat truly. You may still be a littleneurotic at times, like right now with that rant, but that makes you much more interesting."
