Page 69 of Never Started
He knew me through and through, not just what I pretend to be, but who I am at my core. And he loved me, despite it all. He was willing to bet on me. And just the thought of that terrified me. He would have held a part of my heart that gave him the power to destroy me, and I couldn’t risk it. But Maverick, Maverick will never hold that same piece. He’ll never have that power, because it’s still with Jett. It will always be with Jett.
Yet, if I’m learning to trust again with Maverick, then maybe love will eventually follow…
Fuck.
If there's anyone else in this world I've met who can introduce me to that emotion again, it's most definitely Maverick.
I’m safe with him.
Chapter thirty
Maverick
October 2023
It's our last day before the end of our rotation. Work has been a killer this hitch. If anything could go wrong, it has. We are all at the ends of our ropes. Usually, I keep the vibes and energy positive out here on the rig, but I do not even have it in me today.
One more day until I get to see her.
Izzy and I have evolved. She still refuses to say she has genuine feelings for me, even though her actions show it, but she's finally admitted we're dating. Most days, I take that as a win. However, today, my brain is beating me down about it.
That's the thing about our line of work—the mental toll.
You’re locked away on an oil rig for weeks at a time with nothing but water surrounding you, leaving a lot of time for your thoughts to wander and take you down sketchy paths of your mind. The ones you normally try to avoid.
It's been over a year of being active in each other's lives, seven months since I proclaimed my feelings for her, and five months since she finally admitted her stance in my life as my girlfriend.
I knew life with her wouldn't be simple. I don't want simple. Although sometimes, I wish she wouldn't make it so hard.
We're at a point where I'd love to take the next steps in our relationship, but I feel like she's fine with where we are.
It gets frustrating to think about. That's why I try like hell not to.
I don't always succeed, obviously.
Hence, the damn funk I can't get myself out of.
"Mav," my roommate Collin calls out, pulling me from my wandering thoughts.
"Yep?" I reply quickly, my tone dry.
"It's time to get out there. You ready?"
"Yeah, man."
"Okay, Bear is already on the drilling deck waiting for you."
I make my way through the cabin quarters until I reach the deck. Bear, in all his grumpy glory, is impatiently waiting and throws me a scowl when he sees me approach.
"Late again," he growls.
"Joyful like always," I snap back, irritated.
Bear's features shift in surprise. Typically, when he gives me shit for being late, like I always am, I joke with him and make light of it. Not today. Fuck this day, and fuck my brain. I feel just as grumpy as Bear looks, and I'm ready to get home.
Instead of getting offended or annoyed, Bear seems concerned about my response. "You good man?" he asks.
"Honestly?"
