Page 153 of Never Started
“Here I am,” I deadpan, but I'm not sure what else to say.
The idea of meeting up with him sounded much better in my head than in reality. This is hard. There’s so much to discuss, yet I’m unsure where or how to start.
“I’m so sorry, Izzy. I’ve apologized a hundred times, and I’ll apologize a million more if that’s what it takes. I broke your trust. Tell what to do to rebuild what we have and repair what I damaged.” Jett releases a sigh, taking a step closer to me, but he still doesn’t reach for me. Good. If he touched me right now, I’d cry. “Anything you want or need, I’ll do it. More space? It’s yours. You want to punch me? I’ll take the hit. You need to take things slow? Great, let’s start as friends.”
“What’s your point, Jettson?” I try to say it with my usual sass, but the softness in my voice betrays me.
“My point is, I’ll do anything. Whatever is necessary. I just need you. Being without you is like being without oxygen. You give me purpose, Izabel. Without you, there’s no point. I want every day, every second of the rest of my life to be filled withyou.”
Heat pricking my eyes, I take a moment to let his words truly sink in. Finally, I scoff, and his eyebrows pinch together in confusion.
“If you think for a second that we can bejust friends,then you are more delusional than I originally suspected,” I say, taking a step toward him, one that closes the distance between us. His arms instinctively pull me in as mine wrap around him, as if I’m clinging to him for dear life.
“I missed you, Beauty,” he says, whispering into my ear.
“I know,” I respond, angling my face up, waiting for him to kiss me.
He doesn’t. Instead, he pulls back.
What the fuck?
“This won’t be easy,” he says softly. “Some days will be super fucking hard. But I want it. I want it all. If it means I get you, I want every hurdle, every struggle. Every. Fucking. Thing. But you have to promise me no more running.”
My arms tighten around him. “I’m done running, Jett. I’m done being scared. All we’ve had has been intertwined in secrets and omissions, on both of our parts, to protect one another. If we do this, it has to be rebuilt from the ground up, based on hard truths.”
He brings a hand to my cheek, knuckles gently ghosting across my skin. I lean into the touch, wanting more, but willing to wait. We both have more to say, and I want to speak and hear all of it.
“Hard truths,” Jett says, repeating my words as he nods in understanding. “No more secrets.” Slowly, he begins to sway us, the smile I love spreading across his face. “Sounds like the perfect question of the day. What’s your hard truth, Iz?”
Lifting my hand to his on my cheek, I pull it to my side, linking our pinkies. “My hard truth is I fell in love with you years ago. I was terrified of being hurt after a life of only knowing pain, so I did what I do best, and I ran away.” I rest my head on his chest, continuing to speak, “We had a baby, a baby that didn’t get to live its life. I selfishly kept that from you, thinking you’d be better off not knowing the pain of that grief. After all thoseyears apart, my stubborn heart never let you go, yet it fell for another man. I tried to continue running from you, but that was impossible. I made the choice even before Maverick’s tragic passing. My choice has and will always beyou.”
Jett doesn’t speak right away, yet his hold on me tightens.
Finally, he says, “Ask the question, Izabel Landry.”
Smiling against his chest, I do. “What’s your hard truth, Jettson Cole?”
“My hard truth is I fucked up from the second I let you walk away all those years ago. I need you to trust me when I say I will never let it happen again. You aren’t going anywhere this time, Beauty. This place is your home. If you want it to be.”
My home?
It hits me then. My house hasn’t felt like home becausehe does.
Tilting my chin, I look up into those green eyes that have always seen past all my walls. The eyes that have always seenme.
“I want that, Jett. More than anything.”
Jett is my home.
Epilogue
Izzy
When picturing my life, I never imagined myself living on a ranch with a hot as hell cowboy, but yet, here I am.
Through counseling, I’ve managed to learn a lot about myself in the process, and in doing so, I feel as if I've grown from my past trauma rather than let it hinder me any longer.
I can’t change what’s already done, but I can make choices that affect what’s to come.
