Page 85 of Never Started
He backs away slowly, his eyes trained on me while he approaches the door. "Go to the main house with everyone else. I'll give you time and won't make it hard for you when I show up. You don't need to lock yourself up here the entire trip, hiding from me." With that, he's gone before I know it.
Woah.
What the fuck just happened?
Every feeling, emotion, and single thing I've tried to suppress for that man just came rushing to the surface, and I was unable to contain it this time.
My mind is reeling, and I'm left panting, trying to catch my breath.
What the hell am I going to do?
Chapter thirty-nine
Maverick
November 2023
About an hour has passed since I got here, alone. I’m in the corner of the room, back in conversation with Ander, sipping on a beer, when the front door swings open, and in comes Izzy, followed by Via.
Damn, Izzy is so stunning. Just the sight of her always manages to take my breath away. One corner of my mouth tugs upward, and my shoulders relax as I take her in.
To my surprise, she’s smiling.I want to be excited by this, but I see right through it.It’s forced and fake.It’s a shield to hide from whatever is actually going on and tormenting her.
But I’ll play along.
Catching me completely off guard, as soon as her eyes meet mine, she barrels straight toward me, wrapping me in a hug.She runs a hand down one of my arms, interlocking our fingers. Her eyes slowly trail upward, searching for mine. Once our eyes meet, it’s then I see it—-the sheersadnessshe’s attempting to mask.
“Hey,” I lean down and whisper directly in her ear to assure no one else can hear. “You okay?” I pull back, meeting her eyes again.
She nods and forces a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “I’m fine. I’m sorry for how I reacted. It wasn’t fair to you.”
An apology.Izzy is the most unapologetic person that I know. With that comes her owning up to her behaviors, but never with apologies—more so just acknowledging what occurred.
“I’m sorry for pushing so hard,” I say. “I just—”
“Don’t apologize, Mav,” she interjects, cutting me off. “We should be able to talk about that stuff. It just… It isn’t easy for me.” Her voice is soft and low, talking quietly only for me to hear, and I can feel the sincerity in her words.
“I know, Iz,” I say, pushing a curl behind her ear, cupping her face, and leaning in.
Just before my mouth meets hers, she turns her face slightly, giving me her cheek. I stiffen instantly, my brows lifting and knitting together at the center.
What the fuck?
She walked in, acting as if nothing had happened. She weirdly apologized. Yet, she won’t kiss me? The alarm bells in my heart blare even louder that something isoff.
I plant a kiss on her cheek, then instantly pull back, searching her eyes for silent answers, but she averts her gaze. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she fidgets with the hem of her dress.
From our first interaction outside my parents' restaurant that day, I’ve been able to read Izzy. I can see through the defenses she hides behind and truly see her for who she is. Not who she pretends to be. With that comes knowing when she’s hiding something.
And she is undoubtedly hiding something right now. But still, I won’t push. Not again. At least for a while.
Sometimes I wish she saw me as clearly as I see her. I wish she would see my unmoving love for her and how fierce it is. Maybe then she’d recognize that we are worth the risk.
Izzy has given me bits and pieces of herself, but she’s never fully handed her heart over to me. She’s scared to jump in headfirst, take the plunge, and risk it all with me. Sometimes I wonder if she ever will.
I’m not stupid. I know that, for a person to be so guarded, there has to be an underlying cause of pain forcing them to close off parts of themselves from the world. I just wish she’d trust me enough with those fragile pieces, because she can.
Conversations flow around us, and the day passes slowly. For once, I’m not engaging. I’m too lost in my thoughts.
