Page 102 of Carry On
“Don’t,” he replied quickly. The tightness in his voice wrapped around my heart like an unforgiving vice. “Please, don’t…”
I knew he expected me to bring up the accidental confession—to make a big deal out of that. His fear was something I understood.
“What if we tried?” I suggested, keeping my voice soft. His gaze flicked to mine as confusion overtook his expression.
He’s trying to run away from you,the voice interjected.
I did my best to push it back.
“You and me, I mean,” I clarified.
“I don’t…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what that looks like.”
“I don’t either,” I admitted. But I’d lived in war zones. This had to be easier, right? “I don’t have any experience in the dating department, but I think we should try. I like you, Lincoln, a lot more than I thought I would.”
My heart hammered anxiously in my chest with the admission. Vulnerability was the bane of my existence, but for him, I’d try. Day after day, I realized there was a lot I’d do for Lincoln—things I’d never wanted to do for anyone.
“I can’t,” Lincoln whispered with another small shake of his head.
See?the voice cut in.He doesn’t want you.
“Okay.” Releasing him, I retreated across the room to put some immediate space between us.
“I don’t know how, Nash,” he continued, his voice so soft I barely heard him.
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I lied once more. It wasn’t okay. It felt like tearing out pieces of my heart and crushing them for the hell of it. I didn’t understand theway I felt. I’d never let anyone have this kind of power over me. Somehow, he’d flitted right through all my barriers without me realizing it, and I’d let him.
But it was Lincoln. I’d take anything from him.
CHAPTER 68
LINCOLN
Maybewecouldtry…
Maybe we could try…
Maybe we could try…
The words played on an endless loop in my mind while I rode the elevator down to the first floor.
I like you, Lincoln…
I like you, Lincoln…
I like you, Lincoln…
The words cut into every little wall I’d built around my heart, taking them apart piece by piece, as I walked out to my car.
Nash liked me. He wanted an actual relationship with me, one that wasn’t built on insurance fraud and lies.
But did I want that? I’d trusted someone once, and he destroyed me. Most days, invisible duct tape and sheer willpower held me together. I hid it well, but that was the reality of my past. I didn’t know how to go through that again.
And yet…
